


Mysteries of the Killer Clown

by krazieLeylines



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Doomed Timelines, F/F, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Meteorstuck, Multi, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Taking place on the meteor, pre-retcon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krazieLeylines/pseuds/krazieLeylines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Rose's sixteenth birthday, she gets an unexpected visit from Aradia. It turns out her timeline is doomed. Instead of moping about her inevitable death, Aradia wants Rose to try to discover the truth behind some of the greatest mysteries in Sburb. Specifically, why do most doomed timelines end with a bloodbath via the neighborhood juggalo, and why isn't there a single ghost Gamzee in the dream bubbles? Are these two things related?</p><p>So Rose gets to snooping into the life of her strange clown friend, unprepared by what was to follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you can’t shake the feeling that something has gone terribly, horribly wrong. 

It’s your sixteenth birthday. You know this because your laptop is still keeping time, even though you no longer ascribe to the normal schedule you would have on Earth. There’s no other way to tell night from day on the meteor, so the time and date have just become numbers, without meaning.

You don’t think anyone else knows that it’s your birthday, because you haven’t told any of the trolls, and Dave has never remembered anyone’s birthday, ever.

This is kind of a blessing. You couldn’t stand the celebration today. As stated earlier, there is something in your gut telling you something has gone wrong.

Ah, but where are you?

Currently, you are sulking in your room, legs resting on the wall. If only there was something that could wipe this uneasy feeling from your gut.

ARADIA: happy birthing day!

  
You snap to attention, rolling to your side to see Aradia standing in your room. You yank the blankets over your body to hide your ridiculous squiddles pajamas. 

ROSE: Good morning, Aradia. I’m aware you probably didn’t know this, but amongst humans it’s considered rude to come into someone’s room uninvited.  
ARADIA: its considered rude amongst trolls too  
ROSE: Oh, I see.  
ARADIA: i didnt knock because you wouldnt have let me in if i did  
ROSE: No… I suppose I wouldn’t have. So, I’m guessing your arrival is more urgent than just wishing me happy birthday?  
ARADIA: yes!  
ARADIA: if my predictions are correct you should be starting to come to a dark realization  
ROSE: How… astute of you. Yes, I have been feeling as though something is off lately. Though I have been stealthily avoiding dwelling on what’s causing it thus far.  
ROSE: Are you here to force me to face it?  
ARADIA: id rather not use force  
ROSE: If you’re aware of the source of my uneasiness, perhaps you could just tell me? Or would that be too easy?  
ARADIA: it would be too easy!  
ARADIA: but if youre feeling particularly down i suppose i could just cut to the chase  
ARADIA: even though it would make our conversation a lot more one sided than i want it to be  
ROSE: I… think I know what you want me to say. The trouble is, I don’t want to say it. Which is insane, because keeping silent won’t make it less true.  
ARADIA: then you should say it so we can do something about it  
ROSE: What can be done?  
ARADIA: im not entirely sure but i have confidence that if youre open to the reality of the situation we might be able to change something for the better  
ROSE: I feel like an addict at a support group. I have to admit I have a problem before I can get better.  
ARADIA: exactly!  
ROSE: Why do I feel like there is some hidden irony in that metaphor?  
ARADIA: 0u0  
ROSE: Your cryptic smile is really annoying sometimes, Aradia.  
ARADIA: are you ready to admit to the truth yet?  
ROSE: I… suppose there’s no point in delaying it. We’re in a doomed timeline right now, aren’t we?  
ARADIA: that is correct  
ROSE: Well, that’s certainly depressing. Do you know how it happened? We haven’t had any important decisions to make in years. Could something as simple as choosing not to drink coffee one morning create an off-shoot timeline?  
ARADIA: certainly but that isnt the case for this timeline  
ROSE: Really? That’s interesting. Does being the Maid of Time mean you are aware of how each doomed timeline is created?  
ARADIA: not at all  
ROSE: So, then…?  
ARADIA: a little over a year ago i visited the alpha timeline and destroyed your mothers collection of human soporifics  
ROSE: You… that was you?  
ARADIA: yes  
ROSE: Well… I suppose I owe Dave an apology now. Wait. This means that you doomed our timeline?  
ARADIA: that is correct  
ARADIA: it was quite a drastic change  
ARADIA: in the alpha timeline you become inebriated on your first date with kanaya and develop a dependence on the stuff  
ROSE: That’s…  
ARADIA: i am sorry but  
ARADIA: even alpha timeline rose does not survive so in the end the difference is null  
ROSE: Even… alpha Rose? Well, that’s even more depressing.  
ROSE: I thought scratching the game was supposed to give us a second chance at winning.  
ARADIA: it was but in the end it fails  
ROSE: So there is no timeline in which we win?  
ARADIA: i did not say that  
ARADIA: but you dont need to know the specifics of the alpha timeline right now  
ARADIA: i need your help with an experiment  
ROSE: Is that why you doomed me?  
ARADIA: in every other timeline you are in a constant spiral of drunkenness and hangovers  
ROSE: Ah. Should I be thanking you, then?  
ARADIA: only if you want to  
ROSE: I’m not sure that I want to. On one hand, I am not a victim of addiction. But on the other hand, now I know I am never going to leave this game.  
ROSE: Are you allowed to tell me how much more time I have?  
ARADIA: do you really want to know?  
ROSE: I… I think so.  
ARADIA: you have a little over four months  
ROSE: That’s when the meteor will arrive in the new session.  
ARADIA: yes exactly  
ROSE: What will happen? How will we die? And before you ask, yes, I want to know.  
ARADIA: even though knowing wont change anything?  
ROSE: Yes.  
ARADIA: it will end the way that most doomed timelines do  
ARADIA: gamzee will kill everyone  
ROSE: Gamzee?  
ARADIA: you are surprised  
ROSE: Yes, and more than that, disappointed. I don’t even get the dignity to die fighting Jack Noir? Or Lord English?  
ARADIA: you wont make it that far im sorry to say  
ROSE: Well, then.  
ARADIA: but there is hope!  
ROSE: Oh, yes. Before you mentioned that I might be able to help you change things for the better?  
ARADIA: yes!  
ARADIA: do you not find it strange that every doomed timeline tends to end the same way?  
ARADIA: excluding the timelines in which you humans lost before meeting up with my troll friends that is  
ROSE: With Gamzee killing everyone?  
ARADIA: precisely  
ARADIA: more than that  
ARADIA: you have visited the dream bubbles many times in your dreams by now  
ARADIA: you have met dozens of versions of all your friends  
ARADIA: with one exception  
ROSE: Gamzee?  
ROSE: You’re right. I have never once seen him in the dream bubbles. How could that be? What does it mean?  
ROSE: I can’t believe I’ve never noticed that before.  
ARADIA: its easy to miss  
ARADIA: and as for what it means  
ARADIA: i havent a clue! 0u0  
ARADIA: i was hoping i could use your help to get to the bottom of it  
ARADIA: i suspect that gamzee has something to do with doomed timelines and how they work  
ROSE: Do you think he… controls them somehow?  
ARADIA: im not sure but i think that if we figure out the connection between gamzee and doomed timelines we might be able to figure out how to control them  
ROSE: That seems like an optimistic stretch, no offense.  
ARADIA: none taken  
ARADIA: do you remember what happened between karkat and gamzee?  
ROSE: Yes. Gamzee became violent temporarily, and Karkat managed to pacify him using… some specific form of positive touch that turns angry trolls docile?  
ROSE: It was all very alien to me, but interesting from a psychological standpoint.  
ARADIA: yes youre basically correct  
ARADIA: gamzee went on a rampage but karkat put an end to it  
ROSE: And this is important because…?  
ARADIA: that is how most doomed timelines end  
ARADIA: gamzee goes on a rampage  
ROSE: Karkat does not pacify him that time around?  
ARADIA: no he does not  
ROSE: That’s… actually, very strange. I haven’t thought of it like that. Are you suggesting that if we found a way to pacify Gamzee permanently, we could fix a doomed timeline?  
ARADIA: you said it not me!  
ARADIA: im not sure if you could win the game but at the very least you could put off dying indefinitely  
ARADIA: until the point someone fails to pacify him  
ARADIA: at the very least it could buy you some more time to try to cheat the game  
ROSE: That would be a marked improvement, I suppose. And how do you intend for me to pull all of this off? Do I tell Karkat to stick to Gamzee’s side forever? That seems impossible.  
ARADIA: well  
ARADIA: i think you should start at the beginning  
ROSE: That’s both cliché and unhelpful.  
ARADIA: heehee 0u0  
ARADIA: at this point in every other timeline you are attempting and failing at auspistizing gamzee and Terezi  
ROSE: What? That’s… news to me. Not to say that I hadn’t thought about doing just that, but I doubt that I could pull it off. I have very little understanding of ashen romance. I’m not even sure if I’m capable of feeling those sorts of emotions.  
ARADIA: those things didnt seem to matter to you when your inhibitions were stifled due to your massive alcohol consumption  
ROSE: Are you suggesting I should try auspistizing them?  
ARADIA: i am suggesting that you might be more successful with a clear head  
ARADIA: and that gamzees rampages may be more manageable with two pacifiers in his life  
ROSE: And it would put me in a better position to spy on Gamzee and learn what he knows about doomed timelines.  
ARADIA: now youre getting it!  
ARADIA: 0u0  
ROSE: His impending decision to murder me notwithstanding, I do feel a bit bad about entering a romantic relationship with him for the purpose of snooping on him.  
ROSE: I’ve always been a tad fond of him.  
ARADIA: thats why im asking you and not anyone else  
ARADIA: besides being the most rational person on the meteor that is  
ARADIA: from what ive observed your feelings for him seem to be genuinely ashen  
ARADIA: or at least as ashen as a human can feel  
ROSE: Really? I wouldn’t say that. It’s true that I feel sympathetic towards him, and I do want to meddle in his kismesissitude with Terezi, but… I’m not sure if I would label my feelings as romantic.  
ARADIA: yes but your scope of romance is limited to what we call matespritship  
ARADIA: perhaps your feelings are romantic but not the kind of romantic feelings you are used to having  
ROSE: That’s a fair point.  
ROSE: So… that’s it? I just seduce Gamzee and Terezi? That seems like a ridiculously anti-climactic course of action.  
ARADIA: true but its only a starting point  
ARADIA: things might get more interesting from there  
ARADIA: its exciting to think about!  
ARADIA: 0u0

  
You wish that you could be as optimistic as Aradia is. Her smile is cute when you don’t think about the fact that she just told you that you’re probably going to die in just four months. Then again, you are the one who asked.

Being a time player must be a gloomy experience sometimes. No wonder Dave decided to stop doing time-traveling. You make a mental note to give him a pat on the back later.

ARADIA: its interesting  
ROSE: What’s so interesting, exactly?  
ARADIA: you havent suggested finding a way to just lock gamzee up permanently  
ROSE: Oh, well.  
ROSE: That wouldn’t stop our timeline from being doomed, would it? Well… I’m not sure what would happen.  
ARADIA: you would probably all keep living with no chance of escaping the game  
ARADIA: assuming he doesnt escape  
ARADIA: at which point you would all be murdered  
ROSE: So… the result would be the same as keeping him eternally pacified?  
ARADIA: essentially yes  
ROSE: Then trying to keep him pacified seems like the more humane option.  
ARADIA: you dont hold a grudge against him?  
ROSE: Why should I? I don’t know enough about troll psychology to judge him. I get the feeling that it would be culturally insensitive.  
ROSE: If it’s in his nature, then I can’t hold that against him. I can no more blame him than I could blame my cat Jaspers for hunting mice.  
ROSE: And I didn’t personally know any of the trolls that died at his hand, either.  
ROSE: Is that mean to say? I’m sorry.  
ARADIA: no it just means you can be objective!  
ARADIA: again another reason why i chose you  
ROSE: I see. I suppose we’re partners in crime now? Should I… keep this between us?  
ARADIA: that would be for the best  
ARADIA: and another thing!  
ARADIA: i was only a highblood for a short while  
ARADIA: and even then i was mostly a manufactured version  
ARADIA: a byproduct of what equius thought a highblood should be based on his biases  
ARADIA: so i cannot say anything for certain  
ARADIA: but i feel like i should mention that  
ARADIA: i dont think gamzees rampages are normal for a highblood!  
ROSE: Wait, really?  
ROSE: What does that mean?  
ARADIA: i dont know!! 0u0  
ARADIA: but i think that you should try to question everything even the stuff you think you know  
ARADIA: so you can get to the bottom of the situation  
ROSE: I…  
ROSE: That seems like some solid advice. Thank you, Aradia. I will try to keep that in mind.  
ARADIA: excellent!  
ARADIA: how about i check in every week or so?  
ROSE: Alright. I guess that gives me… sixteen or seventeen weeks to figure out the secret behind Gamzee’s rages and prevent him from slaughtering us all.  
ARADIA: precisely!  
ARADIA: i think my work here is done  
ROSE: Yes, I have a lot to think about. Thank you, Aradia. For simultaneously dooming me and giving me a chance to save us all.  
ARADIA: 0u0  
ARADIA: of course!!  
ARADIA: im super curious to learn more about doomed timelines  
ARADIA: bye!

  
And like that, Aradia vanished, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It had been a while since you had to fear for your life, and you didn’t miss the knot of terror in your stomach. It was a lot of responsibility, to be the one to prevent everyone’s death. Though, perhaps that was just your job as the Seer of Light.

Today was turning out to be one of the worst birthdays you had ever had.

But enough sulking around in bed. You cast off your blankets and slide to your feet. It was time to get dressed, and then find the guy who might one day kill everyone you love.

\---

Finding Gamzee was never an easy feat, since he liked to lurk around in the ventilation system. He could be anywhere on the meteor, and the only person to ask would be Karkat. And even Karkat didn’t know Gamzee’s location half of the time.

You come up with a sneaky ploy to draw him out. Instead of spending your day hunting for him, you decide to alchemize an apple pie and place it outside a vent in an empty room. You knew that Gamzee enjoyed baking, because you would sometimes bump into him in the kitchen when everyone else was asleep. Hopefully he liked eating pie as much as he liked making them.

The room in particular is filled with junk and treasure chests that are presumably also filled with junk. You settle down in a pile of trashy troll magazines and open one up while you wait. There is a quiz inside.

‘What kind of pacifier are you?’

You uncaptchalogue a pen and begin reading over the questions.

It takes a couple of hours and several thousand filled out quizzes before you hear something rustling around inside the wall. You finish reading the paragraph of the article about troll Zayn Malik’s decision to leave the popular cult band 1 Dissention, and then put the magazine aside.

You left the vent door open, so Gamzee doesn’t have much of a problem climbing out. He sniffs at the pie audibly, and then glances at you. His expression is, as always, clouded.

ROSE: Hello, Gamzee.  
GAMZEE: what’s up, my righteous human sister? i got my peeps settled on a pie over yonder.  
GAMZEE: MAY IT BE PERHAPS IT WAS BAKED UP AND SPECIAL FOR ME?  
ROSE: You know I can’t cook. It was alchemized, but I hope you’ll enjoy it just the same.  
GAMZEE: and why are you going all out and giving out charitable pastry donations to this here clown, friend?  
GAMZEE: GOT MORE QUERIES ‘BOUT MY TWISTED UP PSYCO MOTHER FUCKIN LOGICAL STATE OF BEING? OR DO YOU WISH TO PROBE MY SPONGE FOR FACTS ON MY FORMER BITCH TITS FAKE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS AGAIN?  
GAMZEE: because i done told you about all i know on both accounts  
ROSE: Neither, actually.  
ROSE: I was hoping that we could discuss something else.  
GAMZEE: SPILL IT LIKE A BOTTLE OF SWEET ELIXAR ON SOME SHIT THAT’S GONNA BE REAL MOTHER FUCKIN HARD TO WASH.  
ROSE: You have such a way with poetry, Gamzee. As you wish.  
ROSE: I’m curious about how your kismesissitude with Terezi is going.  
GAMZEE: it’s going.  
GAMZEE: HONK.  
ROSE: And what about Karkat’s thoughts on the matter?  
GAMZEE: i told you once before  
GAMZEE: KARKAT AIN’T ALLOWED TO BE IN THE KNOW TO THAT SHIT OR ELSE HE’LL DICE ME UP SOME THING HARSH.  
GAMZEE: :o(  
ROSE: I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t think it was a good idea the first time I heard it, and my opinion hasn’t changed. In fact, I’m worried for the both of you.  
GAMZEE: karkat and me?  
ROSE: I meant Terezi and you, but Karkat as well.  
ROSE: And Dave. I can’t imagine Terezi’s been honest with him yet either.  
GAMZEE: WOULDN’T HAVE A REASON TO THINK SO, HEHEH.  
ROSE: Alright. I have made my decision.  
GAMZEE: and what decision have you arrived at?  
ROSE: I’m going to auspistize Terezi and you.

  
You really had no idea how Gamzee would react. To your disappointment, his expression doesn’t change all that much. He just looks tired, like he no longer has enough energy to express any kind of emotion. It reminds you of how Terezi has looked lately, and you suddenly wish you had intervened sooner.

GAMZEE: YOU ALL CERTAIN OF THAT, ROSE?  
ROSE: Yes, I’ve made up my mind. Although I’m not clear on how this sort of thing is supposed to go.  
ROSE: I suppose since this is a romantic relationship in some sense, I should get your consent.  
ROSE: Do you want me to be your auspistice?  
GAMZEE: i don’t think it’s going to make any slice of difference in this point.  
ROSE: Why do you say that?  
GAMZEE: THAT’S JUST WHAT I FEEL.  
GAMZEE: but if it tickles your pump biscuit then by all means take a whack at it.  
ROSE: Excellent.  
ROSE: Oh, and I suppose we should also ask Terezi. Do you know where she is?  
GAMZEE: PROBABLY SWAPPING SPIT WITH HER HUMAN CHEW TOY.  
ROSE: Ahh, right. We should go find her, then. Or if you would rather hide here, I’ll grab her and bring her back.  
GAMZEE: is your bulge bashing girl afoot?  
ROSE: I would assume so.  
GAMZEE: THEN I’LL STAY AND GUARD THE PIE.  
GAMZEE: :o)

  
At least he’s smiling now. That wasn’t as hard as you thought it would be, actually. You can only hope Terezi will be as agreeable.


	2. Chapter 2

DAY 1: DECEMBER 5TH

I will be keeping this journal for my own record. If what Aradia said is true, I will have a little over a hundred days to bring new life to this doomed timeline. It is unclear if such a thing is even possible, but it’s a better use of my remaining lifespan than just waiting around to die.

Yesterday, after some stern persuasion, Terezi agreed to allow me to auspistize Gamzee and her. She scoffed at the idea at first. I don’t entirely blame her for that.

It isn’t clear how I should proceed. This alien romance called auspisticism is exciting in theory, but I cannot help but feel weighed down by the consequences should I fail. Though I have read quite a few of Karkat’s books on the topic, I doubt I could use any of it for inspiration. While entertaining, the flowery prose suggests that they have a limited, rose-tinted grasp on how auspisticism plays out in real life. 

What I do know is that a feelings jam is a fundamental part of ashen romance, and that is what I intend to initiate today. They have agreed to meet me in one of the abandoned rooms for this very purpose. It will be our first date, so to speak.

It is not customary to dress up for dates with trolls, or for trolls to go on dates at all. I know that much from my time with Kanaya. Still, I cannot but wonder if I should go in something other than my God Tier attire, to make it seem more informal. Perhaps it would help them open up?

But before all of that, I have something more important to consider. Let us hope that all goes according to plan.

-Rose Lalonde

  
\---

Your name is Rose Lalonde, and you are severely overdressed. Against your better judgement, you had splurged and alchemized a new dress for the occasion. It is made up entirely of gray and black, and you look absolutely dashing in it.

Terezi is in her usual black jeans and tee, and Gamzee is still in his pj pants. You suspect Gamzee may have put more effort into combing his hair than usual, but other than that, they appear to be treating your collective first feelings jam as though it was any other mundane occasion.

They aren’t speaking yet, so you suppose that’s your cue.

ROSE: Well, it looks like we should start gathering materials for the pile we’re going to sit on while sharing our feelings.  
ROSE: Unless we’re allowed to sit in chairs?  
TEREZI: OH MY GOD ROS3  
TEREZI: TH4T W4S TH3 MOST R3PULS1V3LY UNROM4NT1C QU3ST1ON 1’V3 3V3R B33N 4SK3D 4ND 1 4M 3XTR3M3LY OFF3ND3D TH4T YOU DONT KNOW 4BOUT TH3 CULTUR4L S1GN1F1C4NC3 OF P1L3 M4K1NG  
ROSE: I’m aware you’re being sarcastic, but it would be interesting if pile making was symbolic of something, such as building a foundation of trust for a new relationship. Perhaps that’s how we should look at it.  
TEREZI: OH WOW B4RF  
TEREZI: L3T’S JUST US3 CH41RS  
ROSE: No, no, I want us to be comfortable.

  
Terezi still looks unamused, but you are determined. You think it over, and decide to uncaptchalogue a bunch of pillows onto the ground. You have a large array of them, from back when you were giving Kanaya embroidery lessons.

ROSE: This will do.

  
You crawl into the newly made pile and sit with your knees tucked close.  
Terezi and Gamzee glance at each other, and then join you. They take great care not to brush up against each other, each sitting as far apart as physically possible.

You clear your voice to recapture their attention.

ROSE: Gamzee, you’ve been characteristically quiet through all of this. More so than usual, actually. Though it could be that you are most sociable with one-on-one conversation, I do ask that you make an effort to contribute to the discussion.  
ROSE: A relationship cannot function without equal effort on all fronts, after all.  
GAMZEE: understood, my ashy friend.  
ROSE: Excellent. Let’s get started. I thought we may use one of my wands as a “talking stick”. Whoever is holding it is the only one allowed to speak. I have it first, obviously. Whenever you wish to speak, you can raise your hand.  
TEREZI: WOW OK4Y 1 DON’T KNOW WH3R3 YOU 4R3 G3TT1NG YOUR 4USP1ST1C1SM 1NSP1R4T1ON FROM ROS3 BUT  
ROSE: Have I already done something wrong?  
TEREZI: YOUR3 JUST T4K1NG SUCH 4 SYST3M4T1C 4PPRO4CH TO TH1S  
TEREZI: 1TS V3RY UNROM4NT1C  
ROSE: Oh, I see.  
ROSE: I suppose I’m confused on how to… mediate the two of you in a romantic manner.  
GAMZEE: TEREZI IS JUST YANKING YOUR DUPE CHAIN, ROSE.  
GAMZEE: matter of fuckin fact  
GAMZEE: YOU ORDERING US AROUND LIKE THAT. LAYING THE WICKED SWEET LAW ON US ON WHAT WE ALL CAN AND CAN’T BE DOING.  
GAMZEE: it’s pretty mother fuckin ashen.  
ROSE: Oh.  
ROSE: Alright, then. No more talking, from either of you. Not until you are in possession of the talking stick.  
ROSE: Understood?  
ROSE: .......  
ROSE: Wonderful.  
ROSE: I suppose I should preface this with a request. Well, ‘request’ sounds like I’m offering a choice. I suppose a better word would be… assignment.  
ROSE: I’m giving the two of you an assignment. No, put down your hand Terezi, I’m not finished. I don’t care if this is unromantic, but I’ve thought a lot about this last night, and I’ve come to a conclusion.  
ROSE: I’m happy to help the two of you work out your differences, but there’s something else that needs to be done.  
ROSE: Dave and Karkat need to know about your relationship. This is nonnegotiable. I will allow the both of you to break the news in your own time, but don’t procrastinate on this.  
ROSE: Okay, okay, Terezi stop squirming. Here’s the talking stick.  
TEREZI: TH1S 1S 1NS4N3  
TEREZI: YOU DONT UND3RST4ND ROS3  
TEREZI: YOU WOULD B3 P3RF3CTLY H4PPY L3TT1NG K4N4Y4 3XPLOR3 OTH3R QU4DR4NTS YOU M1GHT 3V3N 3NJOY 1T OUT OF SOM3 STR4NG3 P3V3RS3 HUM4N F4NT4SY OF D3FY1NG 34RTH ROM4NT1C SOC14L NORMS  
TEREZI: BUT D4V3 1S NOT L1K3 YOU  
TEREZI: D4V3 1S SO CR33P3D OUT BY TH3 QU4DR4NT SYST3M TH4T W3 DONT 3V3N T4LK 4BOUT 1T  
TEREZI: 1TS L1K3 TH1S TH1NG  
TEREZI: 4NYT1M3 ON3 OF US 1S 4BOUT TO M3NT1ON SOM3TH1NG R3L4T3D TO TH3 QU4DR4NT SYST3M W3 BOTH PR3T3ND TH3 L4ST TWO TO THR33 M1NUT3S D1DNT JUST H4PP3N  
TEREZI: 4ND OK4Y  
TEREZI: 1F 1 W4S 1N 4 MO1R4LL3G14NC3 F1N3  
TEREZI: D4V3 DO3SNT UND3RST4ND HOW 4 P4L3 ROM4NC3 WORKS BUT H3 DO3SNT 4CT1V3LY H4T3 TH3 1D34 31TH3R  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK H3 TH1NKS 1TS OK4Y B3C4US3 TH3R3S NO M4T1NG FONDN3SS F33L1NGS 1NVOLV3D 4ND HUM4NS 4PP4R3NTLY 3QU4T3 M4T1NG FONDN3SS W1TH ROM4NT1C 1NT1M4CY  
TEREZI: BUT H3 H4S CONS1ST3NTLY 3XPR3SS3D D1SCOMFORT 4BOUT K1SM3S1SS1TUD3  
TEREZI: H3NC3 WHY W3 3V3NTU4LLY D3C1D3D TO NOT BR1NG TH3 TOP1C UP 3V3R FOR 4NY R34SON  
TEREZI: T3LL1NG D4V3 1 H4V3 B33N 1N 4 S3CR3T K1SM3S1SS1TUD3 W1TH G4MZ33 WOULD B3 TH3 3ND OF OUR M4T3SPR1TSH1P H3LL 1T WOULD B3 TH3 3ND OF US 3V3R SP34K1NG TO 34CH OTH3R 4G41N  
ROSE: Okay, wait.  
TEREZI: NO 1M NOT DON3 T4LK1NG  
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 TH3 T4LK1NG ST1CK NOW ROS3 4ND 1 N33D YOU TO UND3RST4ND HOW V3RY MUCH 1 C4NNOT T3LL D4V3 4BOUT TH1S  
TEREZI: 1F MY CHO1C3 1S T3LL1NG H1M OR YOU W4LK1NG 4W4Y FROM TH1S 4USP1ST1C1SM 1 W1LL CHOOS3 TH3 L4TT3R B3C4US3 D4V3 W1LL N3V3R 4CKNOWL3DG3 MY 3X1ST3NC3 4G41N OTH3RW1S3  
ROSE: I think you’re being a tad melodramatic.  
ROSE: Terezi, give me the stick.  
TEREZI: NO!  
TEREZI: YOUR3 GO1NG TO TRY TO LOG1C YOUR W4Y 1NTO M4K1NG M3 4GR33 W1TH YOU  
ROSE: Terezi  
TEREZI: NOOOOO  
TEREZI: NO NO NO NO YOU C4NNOT H4V3 YOUR ST1CK B4CK UNT1L YOU PROM1S3 TO DROP TH1S  
ROSE: I can’t do that.  
TEREZI: WHY NOT??  
ROSE: Because eventually Dave will find out, and that will be much worse.  
TEREZI:   
ROSE: I cannot guarantee that Dave won’t dump you after you tell him about you and Gamzee. You have been keeping secrets from him for two years now. You put yourself in that situation.  
ROSE: But I can promise that if Dave finds out the hard way, he will be upset far longer than if you had been honest with him.  
TEREZI: UHHHHGGGG!!  
TEREZI: TH1S 1SNT F41R  
TEREZI: 1 D1DNT M34N FOR TH1S TO H4PP3N  
TEREZI: 1 W4S LOOK1NG FORW4RD TO SP3ND1NG T1M3 W1TH YOU HUM4NS 4ND TH3N 1 GO 4ND M3SS 3V3RYTH1NG UP!!  
TEREZI: FOR WH4T?  
TEREZI: 4 LOPS1D3D R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH G4MZ33?  
ROSE: Well, if it’s worth anything, I think it’s good that you’re expressing regret.  
TEREZI: 1 DONT 3V3N KNOW HOW TH1NGS GOT TH1S FUCK3D UP  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1 JUST W4NT3D TO PUN1SH G4MZ33 BUT SOM3HOW 1 GOT T4NGL3D UP 1N TH3S3 H4T3FUL F33L1NGS  
TEREZI: UGHH!!!  
TEREZI: 1 KN3W YOU WOULD DO TH1S  
ROSE: What, logic you into agreeing with me?  
TEREZI: Y34H >:[  
TEREZI: 1 HON3STLY DONT KNOW WHO 1 H4T3 MOR3 4NYMOR3!!!  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 OR MYS3LF  
ROSE: God, it looks like things are worse than I was imagining. Okay, Terezi, we will comb through all of your feelings and make amends. I promise I will help the two of you heal.  
ROSE: But, first.  
ROSE: Gamzee hasn’t said anything. I know he was also worried about telling Karkat about this kismesissitude. I’m going to hand the stick to him for a moment, okay?  
TEREZI: *SN1FF SN1FF*  
TEREZI: OK4Y  
ROSE: There, there. Alright Gamzee, what are your thoughts?  
GAMZEE: UHHHHH  
GAMZEE: hate to say such mother fuckin heresy aloud but  
GAMZEE: I AGREE ON WHAT TEREZI SAID.  
GAMZEE: .......................  
ROSE: Can you elaborate? What in particular do you agree with?  
GAMZEE: just that i have my own fears, pertaining to spilling the truth to my best pale buddy.  
GAMZEE: HOW MOTHER FUCKIN HARD HE’D BE HURTING IF HE KNEW.  
GAMZEE: :o(  
GAMZEE: karkat did trust me with his most precious diamond, and i went muddying it all by sneaking round unfaithfully with some mother fuckin blasphemer who wanted to be playing a game of cob and robbers.  
GAMZEE: MAKES ME SICKER THAN A BARKBEAST TO LOOK AT MY OWN WICKED AWFUL FACE IN THE FUCKIN MIRROR MOST NIGHTS.  
GAMZEE: that’s what i was agreeing on, sister.  
GAMZEE: HERE’S YOUR STICK BACK.  
ROSE: Thank you. I have to say, I’m very worried about the both of you. But it’s also important to acknowledge that while both of you feel awful about your actions, neither of you have put an end to your kismesissitude. I think it’s important to admit to that when you tell Dave and Karkat.  
ROSE: And also, it may help you to disclose that I will be working with you both closely to help mend things.  
ROSE: Do I have your word that you will do this?  
ROSE: You don’t need the talking stick for this, just nod your heads.  
ROSE: Okay, good.  
ROSE: Now. Why don’t we get to the bottom of why the two of you are so hesitant to end your relationship? I haven’t gotten the impression that either of you enjoy it.   
ROSE: Terezi?  
TEREZI: 1 H4V3 4SK3D MYS3LF TH4T 4 LOT 4ND  
TEREZI: 1 C4NNOT COM3 UP W1TH 4N 4NSW3R!!!  
TEREZI: 1TS SUP3R FRUSTR4T1NG B3C4US3 1 H4T3 B31NG 1N 4 K1SM3S1SS1TUD3 W1TH G4MZ33 4ND Y3T 1 C4NNOT B34R TH3 THOUGHT OF BR34K1NG TH1NGS OFF  
TEREZI: 1TS L1K3 4 S1CK 4DD1CT1ON!  
TEREZI: >:[  
ROSE: That’s a start, I suppose. Gamzee, have you debated ending things with Terezi before?  
GAMZEE: nah, can’t say i ever gave it considerate contemplation.  
ROSE: That surprises me. Why not?  
GAMZEE: CAUSE, SISTER.  
GAMZEE: i got to be following what my heart mother fuckin tells at me to do.  
GAMZEE: AND ITS FEELING LIKE THIS PITCH ENTANGLEMENT WITH TEREZI WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO MOTHER FUCKIN HAPPEN. LIKE A WRETCHED PROPHESY THAT WAS ALL ETCHED IN TIME, DRAGGING US ALL DOWN WITH IT LIKE AN INSATIABLE SEA BEAST.  
ROSE: Oh.  
ROSE: Alright. I don’t want to be insensitive to your beliefs, Gamzee. However, I also don’t understand them. And from my perplexed, incomplete viewpoint, I have to say that that does not sound like a good reason to go on doing something.  
ROSE: Have you considered that, perhaps, there is another, more personal reason, for you to avoid cutting ties?  
GAMZEE: like what?  
ROSE: I don’t want to put words in your mouth. Why don’t you give it some thought?  
GAMZEE: :o(  
ROSE: Mmm. This may be even more difficult than I anticipated. I feel extremely limited by my inadequate knowledge of your culture.  
GAMZEE: THIS AIN’T SO MUCH ABOUT MY RELIGION THOUGH, SISTER.  
GAMZEE: but more what my instincts are hollering on at me about day and night.  
TEREZI: 1F 1T H3LPS 1 DONT UND3RST4ND H4LF OF WH4T G4MZ33 1S S4Y1NG 31TH3R  
TEREZI: 1TS L3SS OF 4 TROLL TH1NG 4ND MOR3 OF 4  
TEREZI: 1NS4N3 CLOWN TH1NG  
TEREZI: >:]  
GAMZEE: :o(  
ROSE: Okay, well.  
ROSE: Let’s try to avoid using the word “insane”, alright? Gamzee’s personal beliefs are unusual, but they are hardly gibberish. He may just be more intuitive than you and I, Terezi. As seers, perhaps we are meant to be beings of logic, not gut feelings.  
ROSE: I am big enough to admit that there are forces in this universe that I do not understand.  
ROSE: At the same time, though, there really isn’t a point to this auspisticism if you believe it won’t work, Gamzee. I was under the impression that you wanted this.  
GAMZEE: SURE, MOTHER FUCKER.  
GAMZEE: i’m all wanting this shit to go down more than a laughsassin wants his bounty.  
GAMZEE: BUT IN THE END OF THIS ADVENTURE IT WON’T MAKE A LICK OF MOTHER FUCKIN DIFFERENCE WHETHER THIS ASHEN ROMANCING DOES ANY SUCH GOOD OR NOT.  
GAMZEE: honk  
ROSE: You… have a talent for cryptic words, Gamzee.  
ROSE: You remind me of Jade, actually. She used to say a lot of things that only made sense to her. Of course, a lot of her knowledge came from visions in the clouds of Prospit.  
ROSE: Anyway. I just wish you had more faith in me.  
GAMZEE: THIS AIN’T GOT SHIT TO DO WITH YOU, ROSE.  
GAMZEE: but with the powers that be and all what they are capable of doing. leading us all this circular journey.  
GAMZEE: DON’T YOU SEE, MOTHER FUCKER?  
GAMZEE: what has happened and all what will happen.  
GAMZEE: THEY’RE THE SAME.  
ROSE: Wait. You’re talking about time loops, right? I didn’t know you had such a… an extensive understanding of time, Gamzee.  
GAMZEE: honk  
ROSE: What do you know about what will happen? How do you—  
ROSE: Oh, Terezi, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to exclude you from the conversation. Here, have the talking stick.  
TEREZI: WHY 4R3 YOU T4K1NG H1S R1D1CULOUS MUMBO JUMBO SO S3R1OUSLY?  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 S4YS SH1T L1K3 TH4T 4LL TH3 T1M3  
TEREZI: 1T DO3SNT M34N 4NYTH1NG TRUST M3 1TS JUST SOM3 D3LUS1ONS FROM H1S N1GHTM4R3S  
TEREZI: H3 C4NT T3LL 4P4RT H1S DR34MS FROM R34L1TY  
ROSE: Nightmares?  
TEREZI: Y34H H3 H4S TH3M L1K3  
TEREZI: 4LL TH3 T1M3  
TEREZI: PROB4BLY SOM3 S1D3 3FF3CT FROM WH4T3V3R P4RT OF H1S BR41N D1DNT ROT 4W4Y FROM 4LL TH4T SOPOR SL1M3 CONSUMPT1ON 4ND ST1LL 3XP3R13NC3S 3MOT1ONS  
ROSE: This is news to me. Gamzee, have you told Karkat about your nightmares at all?  
GAMZEE: SURE HAVE, SISTER.  
GAMZEE: it’s practically the only mother fuckin thing we jam about anymore.  
ROSE: What happens in these nightmares?  
GAMZEE: I GET MY MOTHER FUCKIN SLAUGHTER ON.  
GAMZEE: like i’ve been hatched for since long before our planet was even a thing that was fuckin existing.  
GAMZEE: TAKING MY PLACE AS THE RIGHTEOUS TWIN MESSIAHS ON THE PRECIPICE OF THE WHOLE MOTHER FUCKIN WICKED UNIVERSE AS IT FALLS TO RIBBONS IN MY CLAWS.  
GAMZEE: warm sticky liquid of every hue smeared across the hills and valleys of the paradise planet in the most beautiful picture.  
GAMZEE: I DREAM ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD, ROSE.  
GAMZEE: my death  
GAMZEE: AND THE MOTHER FUCKIN MURDERS OF EVERY REMAINING SOUL DONE IN BY MY OWN REVERENT HANDS.  
GAMZEE: until all that’s left  
GAMZEE: IS TO START THE WHOLE WONDROUS, UGLY CATASTROPHE THAT IS LIFE  
GAMZEE: all over again.  
ROSE: ..................  
TEREZI: S33?  
TEREZI: WH4T D1D 1 T3LL YOU  
TEREZI: COMPL3T3 B3W1LD3R1NG BUFFOON3RY TH4T DO3SNT M34N SH1T  
ROSE: It certainly is chilling to listen to. And I can’t imagine that it’s any easier to experience firsthand. But that’s not the only reason I am confused.  
ROSE: Gamzee, I can’t tell if you’re scared that your nightmares will become reality, or if you truly believe that murdering everyone would be a good thing. I thought you cared about Karkat, at the very least.   
GAMZEE: I PITY THAT PUNCH BLOODED BASTARD WITH EVERY FIBER OF WHAT EVER SCIENCEY SHIT I’M ALL MADE OUT OF.  
ROSE: And yet you see something moral and beautiful about the deaths of those who blaspheme?   
GAMZEE: honk  
ROSE: I don’t understand, Gamzee. Help me understand.  
GAMZEE: WELL, SISTER.  
GAMZEE: it’s sure as shit true that karkat is the best damn thing that ever happened to this here troll. and i feel fuckin ill thinking on about harm ever befalling one hair on his perfect nub horned head of his.  
GAMZEE: BUT I ALSO GOT MY KNOW ON THAT IT’S MY OBLIGATION AS THE EMISSARY TO THE WICKED MESSIAHS TO BRING THE UNIVERSE AND ALL THAT LIVE IN IT TO A MOST GORGEOUS AND BLOODY END.  
GAMZEE: so what if you are questioning on if i feel good about becoming a mass murderer  
GAMZEE: THE ANSWER IS NO.  
GAMZEE: and also mother fuckin yes.  
GAMZEE: HONK  
GAMZEE: honk  
GAMZEE: HONK

  
It’s really hard to think of an answer to that. You went into this auspisticism feeling excited to learn more about this mysterious clown troll, and now you’re just feeling empty and a tad scared. Before it had seemed so laughable that Gamzee could be the one to end your life, but now you can believe it.

Perhaps Aradia was wrong. Maybe it was inevitable that Gamzee would always lose control and kill everyone. Maybe it had nothing to do with a mysterious connection to doomed timelines and how they worked.

What had you gotten yourself into?

Before your brain can go down that depressing avenue any further, Terezi bursts into laughter.

TEREZI: S33? S33???  
TEREZI: TH1S GUY 1S C3RT1F14BLY 1NS4N3  
ROSE: Alright, no, give me that wand back. We need to use respectful language for each other.  
ROSE: If Gamzee has a mental illness, then we should be trying to find him help, and not tear him down. Perhaps later, Gamzee, we should go back to my room. I have a bunch of books on psychology. Perhaps it can give us some insight on how to treat your… delusions.  
GAMZEE: sure, sister, i guess no mother fuckin thing bad can come from having an honest go at it.  
ROSE: Okay. I should perhaps do some reading on my own first, just to get refamiliar with the texts.  
TEREZI: DO3S TH4T M34N W3R3 DON3 H3R3??  
ROSE: Um, sure.  
ROSE: Yes, that was an interesting first session. Now, we all have our assignments. I will look through my books and see if there is anything we can do to help Gamzee sleep soundly.  
ROSE: And as for you two.  
ROSE: Terezi, you need to talk to Dave. And Gamzee, you need to talk to Karkat. Bring them up to speed on what’s going on. Let them know that we are going to try to fix the clusterfuck that your kismesissitude has dissolved into.  
ROSE: And try to repair Gamzee’s mental state, while we’re at it.  
ROSE: I think it will be best for all of us, as a team, if we’re open and transparent with each other. We have four months until this meteor lands in the new session, and we’re not going to get very far if we’re each wrapped up in personal drama.  
ROSE: Not to mention that we owe it to ourselves to find a way to be happy.

  
When Terezi and Gamzee look at you, it looks like happiness is a foreign concept to them. But they nod anyway, and don’t try to argue. It’s kind of depressing, actually.

They move to get back on their feet, thanking you softly under their breaths, and slink off out the door. Again, all the while, they avoid each other like the plague. You watch them leave, trying to process everything you’ve learned.

You’ve opened up an especially nasty can of worms with these two, haven’t you?


	3. Chapter 3

==>Rose: Become the murder clown

You are now Gamzee Makara, and you resent being called the murder clown, by the way. It’s not as though you murdered as many trolls as Terezi did back in her FLARP days. And besides, it was all for the greater good. Or, really, for a greater force that isn’t exactly morally aligned.

Kind of like yourself, at the moment. But your head hurts whenever you try to think about yourself too much, so you’re not going to do that.

Instead, it’s time to come clean to Karkat.

Karkat, the focal point of all that you care about. In the whirlwind of overlapping, contrasting voices inside your soul, Karkat can put his palm to your forehead and drive away all that is noise, and bring forth all that is your true self.

If you go too long without seeing Karkat, you start to forget who you are. You sometimes even question what you’ve done, and what you’ve only envisioned doing.

You never forget how to find him, though. Karkat has long since taken up residence in your respiteblock, wearing your clothes to bed, and taking naps in your horns. He has built himself a fortress of your belongings, and nested down in the middle of it all. Karkat, the focal point of your possessions.

Just as you had anticipated, Karkat is lounging by an alchemized replica of your recoupercoon. He had to get rid of all the slime inside it a long time ago, so now it’s just filled with a few pillows and blankets. He’s watching a movie on his grubtop, curled up in a pair of your polka dot pants that are way too long on his short legs. 

You crawl out of the vent as quietly as you can, hoping not to startle him. Karkat always shakes something fierce when you take him by surprise, the poor dear.

The door is open slightly, so you can pretend that you’re just walking in. It isn’t hard to just flashstep over. You knock on the door, keeping half of your body outside in the hall so that your act is believable. 

KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU WANT?  
  
Karkat doesn’t pull his eyes from the screen immediately. It must be a good scene.

GAMZEE: i was hoping i could come in.  
  
You can tell that he recognizes your voice instantly. His jaw goes slack, and he sits up straighter to look over at you.

KARKAT: THIS IS *YOUR* RESPITEBLOCK, FUCKNUTS. YOU DON’T NEED TO REQUEST PERMISSION LIKE SOME FUCKING SERVICE BROAD.  
  
You want to flashstep over into his arms, but you’re secretly afraid he might flinch if you come at him too quickly. Sometimes he has nightmares about you attacking him. Karkat never tells you about them, but you know they often keep him up at night. If you were repulsed by the idea of spending more time with Kurloz, maybe he could help you get your chucklevoodoos under control.

So instead you walk over slowly and plop down beside Karkat. You recognize the human actors on the screen, but can’t remember the romcom’s title. You’ve seen nearly every movie in Karkat’s collection at least three times by now, but some are so similar that they all kind of blur together.

You take a long breath in, hold onto it, and then reluctantly let the air go. Then, before you can chicken out, you reach forward and put the movie on pause.

KARKAT: THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?  
GAMZEE: ................  
KARKAT: OKAY, WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? DO YOU NEED A JAM SESSION? SHOULD WE RELOCATE THIS TO THE HORN PILE?  
GAMZEE: NAH, BROTHER.  
GAMZEE: shit’s not necessary, and i know you hate trying to have a decent mother fuckin jam in that orchestra of sound props.  
KARKAT: OKAY, WELL THEN WHAT’S THE PROBLEM? ANOTHER NIGHTMARE?  
GAMZEE: NO.  
KARKAT: THEN?  
GAMZEE: ..........................  
KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, GAMZEE. YOU KNOW AS FUCKING WELL AS I FUCKING DO THAT I CAN’T HELP YOU IF YOU JUST GLOWER AT YOUR FEET IN SILENCE.  
KARKAT: SPEAKING OF, YOUR TOE CLAWS NEED SOME SERIOUS CLIPPING.

  
Karkat uncaptchalogues the moirail care kit he put together a couple of years ago, and fishes through it for the nail clipper and filer. He spins around to face you, and pulls one of your feet up onto his lap. You captchalogue your sandals to make the job easier for him. His palm feels so soft and warm under your calloused heel.

KARKAT: YOU BETTER START TALKING WHILE I BEAUTIFY YOUR UGLY ASS FEET, OKAY? YOU’RE REALLY STARTING TO WORRY ME.  
GAMZEE: sorry, karkat.  
KARKAT: NO APOLOGIES, JUST TELL ME WHAT’S BOTHERING YOU.  
GAMZEE: FINE.  
GAMZEE: just promise me you ain’t gonna cut one of my mother fuckin toes off for being honest with a brother.  
KARKAT: SHIT, WHAT DID YOU DO?  
KARKAT: DON’T FUCKING TELL ME YOU TRIED TO EAT THE BATH SOAPS AGAIN? LAST GODDAMN TIME I’M ALCHEMIZING ANY SHAPED LIKE FRUIT.  
GAMZEE: NAH, I LEARNED MY LESSON REAL FUCKIN GOOD ON THAT ONE.  
GAMZEE: i just…  
GAMZEE: SHIT MOTHER FUCK, THIS AIN’T EASY TO SAY.  
KARKAT: I LOVE YOU.  
GAMZEE: what?  
KARKAT: GOD FUCKING. I LOVE YOU, GAMZEE, SO *PLEASE* JUST TELL ME. I PROMISE WHAT THE FUCK EVER IT IS THAT YOU DID, IT WON’T CHANGE HOW I FEEL.  
GAMZEE: I LOVE YOU, TOO.  
KARKAT: I KNOW. NOW TELL ME WHAT YOU’VE DONE.  
GAMZEE: i… i went all behind a palemate’s back and fell into a pitch entanglement i wasn’t supposed to.  
KARKAT: WAIT, YOU MEAN WITH TEREZI?  
GAMZEE: UH  
GAMZEE: …yeah?  
KARKAT: OH, THANK FUCK.  
KARKAT: HERE I WAS, ASSUMING THE ABSOLUTE WORST. I MEAN, THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST POSSIBLE THING YOU COULD HAVE DONE.  
KARKAT: DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT, GAMZEE.  
GAMZEE: I DON’T UNDERSTAND.  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID? I’M THE MASTER OF ROMANCE, ASS MAJOR.   
KARKAT: NOT TO MENTION THAT I’M YOUR GODDAMN MOIRAIL.  
KARKAT: OF COURSE I COULD SEE THAT COMING FROM A MILE FUCK AWAY. EVER SINCE THIS HELLISH METEOR TRIP STARTED, SHE’S BEEN CLAMORING FOR THE CHANCE TO BURY HER TEETH IN YOUR JUGULAR.   
KARKAT: AND THEN THE TWO OF YOU ARE ALWAYS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AT THE SAME TIME? IT’S AS CLEAR AS SHITFUCKING DAY.  
GAMZEE: but  
GAMZEE: I WAS ALL UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU HAD WICKED CONCUPISCENT FEELINGS FOR HER.  
KARKAT: YEAH, I DID?  
KARKAT: AND STILL KIND OF DO.  
KARKAT: BUT LET’S BE HONEST. MY FEELINGS FOR HER HAVE NEVER BEEN PITCH ENOUGH FOR BLACKROM. SETTLING FOR KISMESISSITUDE WOULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST DEPLORABLE, VOMIT-WORTHY ACT OF DESPERATION I COULD COMMIT.  
KARKAT: HONESTLY, YOU SAVED ME FROM MAKING A COMPLETE RUMP PIMPLE OF MYSELF.  
GAMZEE: i’m still feeling all sorts of mother fuckin apologetic.  
KARKAT: WELL, YOU DID KEEP THIS A SECRET FROM ME FOR WAY TOO SHAMESHITTING LONG.  
KARKAT: WHICH IN ITSELF IS A WHOLE OTHER HEAP OF PROBLEMS.  
KARKAT: MOIRALLEGIANCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE BUILT ON A PILE OF TRUST AND HONESTY, AND WITHOUT THAT FOUNDATION, OUR ROMANCE IS JUST GOING TO FUCKING IMPLODE ON ITSELF.  
GAMZEE: I’M SORRY.  
KARKAT: I KNOW, I KNOW.  
KARKAT: JUST… JUST BE MORE HONEST WITH ME FROM HERE ON OUT. I CAN’T MAKE THIS RELATIONSHIP WORK OUT ALL BY MYSELF.   
GAMZEE: of course, i cross my blood pump and hope to die.  
KARKAT: GOOD. THEN THAT MATTER IS SETTLED. FEEL BETTER?  
GAMZEE: YEAH, BROTHER.  
GAMZEE: i sure as mother fuckin love you, you know, my pale half, my miracle diamond, my—  
KARKAT: SHOOOOOOOOSH. SHOOSH, STUPID. DON’T GET ALL ALMIGHTY FUCKING POETIC ON MY ASS. YOU KNOW HOW FAST I CAN DISOLVE INTO A BLITHERING TRAGIC CLUSTERFUCK OF SAP WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT.  
GAMZEE: MY BEACON OF SOFT LIGHT, MY SUGAR LOVE—  
KARKAT: SHOOOOOOOOOOOSH! SHOOSH I SAY!  
GAMZEE: my pinkest darling, my-  
KARKAT: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!  
KARKAT: STOP IT WITH YOUR COQUETTISH ASSAULT ON MY HEART!!!  
KARKAT: OH MY SHIT GAMZEE, YOU JUST DON’T KNOW WHEN TO SHUT YOUR TRAP, DO YOU? I CAN’T FOCUS FOR SHIT WHEN YOU SPOUT THAT SICKENINGLY SWEET LOVEY DOVEY CRAP.  
KARKAT: AT LEAST CLAMP YOUR WORDHOLE CLOSED LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO FUCKING FINISH WITH YOUR FEET.  
KARKAT: ..............  
KARKAT: AND THEN WE CAN SNUGGLE.

  
You honk at him obediently. His face is flushed a deep brick red, and you can’t stop smiling. Karkat leans in to give you a quick peck on your nose, before hurriedly flipping his attention back to your toes. When you see him like this, flustered and in love, you feel so content. He is precious. Life is perfect.

You honestly can’t remember why you would ever want to hurt anyone, for any reason.

\---

==>Gamzee: Switch back to being Rose

You are back to being Rose again, even though you’re kind of wishing you weren’t Rose right now. 

You have messaged Kanaya and asked her over to your room. It’s become apparent to you that you will need her help. You are out of your depth with this auspisticism, and with Gamzee. You’ve been flipping through psychology books all afternoon, until you came to a startling realization:

Human mental illnesses might not even affect trolls.

When the inevitable knock at the door comes, you call for Kanaya to let herself in. You’ve kind of accidentally barricaded yourself into a corner with your books.

Kanaya bursts into giggles when she sees you.

KANAYA: Did You Call Me Over To Help You Find Your Way Out Of Your Prose Based Maze  
ROSE: Haha, very funny.  
ROSE: No, I need your help with a much more serious problem.  
KANAYA: Oh No  
KANAYA: I Will Assist You In Any Manner You Please  
KANAYA: Does It Involve Tidying Up Your Block Because If Not I Want To Stay And Help With That Also  
ROSE: My room is perfectly clean. It’s called organized chaos.  
KANAYA: Rose I Love You Dearly But It Looks As Though A Stampede Of Unlawful Group Members Tore Through All Your Belongings In Search Of Something They Highly Coveted  
ROSE: Oh dear, I hope they didn’t find my cocaine stash.  
ROSE: But honestly, Kanaya, I mean it when I say my problem is serious. You may want to sit down before I elaborate.  
KANAYA: Oh Dear

  
It wasn’t your intention to make her worry, but there’s really no way around it at this point. Besides, there isn’t a force in the universe that could stop Kanaya Maryam from fretting over you.

She pushes some of your yarn aside to sit on your bed, and looks at you expectantly.

ROSE: First of all, please be aware that I am telling you all of this in the strictest confidence. I was sworn to secrecy and I am only sharing this with you because I know that I can trust you to keep a secret.  
KANAYA: Of Course Rose My Lips Are Sealed  
ROSE: Alright.  
ROSE: There’s really no nice way to say it, so I’ll be blunt.  
ROSE: We’re in a doomed timeline.  
KANAYA: Oh No  
KANAYA: Are You Positive  
ROSE: Quite certain.  
KANAYA: Oh Gosh No  
KANAYA: That Is Immensely Distressing  
KANAYA: I Don’T Quite Know What To Say About That  
KANAYA: It Had To Happen To Most Versions Of Me Of Course But Still I Did Not Imagine It Would Happen To Me  
KANAYA: When Did We Stop Being The Alpha Timeline  
ROSE: About a year ago.  
ROSE: It was quite the deliberate act, on Aradia’s part.  
KANAYA: Aradia Did This  
KANAYA: For What Purpose Exactly  
ROSE: To give me a chance to live, ironically enough.  
ROSE: I apparently die in the alpha timeline.  
KANAYA: What  
KANAYA: No That’S Impossible  
KANAYA: That Can’T Be True  
ROSE: And yet it is.  
ROSE: According to Aradia, all timelines, even the alpha timeline, ends in the same manner.  
KANAYA: What How  
ROSE: You aren’t going to like it.  
KANAYA: Tell Me  
ROSE: Gamzee goes on a murderous rampage again, except next time Karkat fails to pacify him.  
KANAYA: Then We Should Kill Him  
ROSE: No, we shouldn’t.  
KANAYA: Why Not  
KANAYA: I Understand That You Have A Slight Fascination With The Fellow That I Will Never Comprehend But If He Is A Danger To Us All Then Surely You Can See Why He Must Be Sacrificed  
ROSE: We shouldn’t kill Gamzee because I don’t know if that is even possible.  
KANAYA: What  
KANAYA: That Makes No Sense  
ROSE: Just tell me this Kanaya… have you ever once come across a dead Gamzee in the dream bubbles?  
KANAYA: Hm  
KANAYA: I Have Not  
KANAYA: But That Can Be Easily Explained  
KANAYA: Gamzee Is Not A Particularly Social Or Well Liked Individual  
KANAYA: I Barely See Him On The Meteor  
ROSE: Okay, that’s fair. He does hide from you a lot. But he doesn’t hide from me. And Aradia has confirmed it. There is no version of Gamzee in any timeline in which he has died.  
KANAYA: Impossible  
KANAYA: How Can That Be  
KANAYA: Are You Suggesting That He Is Immortal  
ROSE: I’m unsure. All I can tell you is that we cannot kill Gamzee at this point in time.  
KANAYA: This Is Horrible  
KANAYA: What Are We Supposed To Do Then  
KANAYA: Just Hang Around And Wait For Him To Slaughter Us All  
ROSE: No, not exactly.  
ROSE: I’m not even sure if it will work, but Aradia believes that Gamzee could be permanently pacified somehow.  
KANAYA: We Could Lock Him Up Somewhere  
ROSE: No, no. I doubt that would do anything but delay the inevitable.  
ROSE: I have another idea. I’m going to auspistize him.  
KANAYA: Auspistize Him  
KANAYA: Auspistize Him With Whom  
ROSE: With Terezi. Oh, the two of them are a thing now. Sorry, I should have mentioned that beforehand.  
KANAYA: Gamzee And Terezi  
KANAYA: God That Is Worrying News  
ROSE: It truly is. Apparently they’ve been having a secret kismesissitude behind Dave and Karkat’s backs. So I have agreed to auspistize them.  
KANAYA: While I Am Proud To Hear Of Your Newly Formed Quadrant  
KANAYA: Even If It Contains That Murderous Fiend  
KANAYA: And How Will That Help Exactly  
ROSE: Gamzee’s emotional state may be more stable with two conciliatory partners in his life. Not to mention that as his auspistice, I may learn more about him. Why he cannot die, for instance, and if he knows anything about how doomed timelines work.  
KANAYA: Why Do You Expect Him To Know Anything Of That Nature  
KANAYA: He Is Just A Murder Happy Clown Rose  
ROSE: I’m not sure. Perhaps he doesn’t know anything about doomed timelines, but he is connected to them somehow, I’m sure of it. If I can figure out the connection, I may be able to… I don’t know, save us all?  
ROSE: I’m not positive about anything. I just feel as though I do nothing to riddle out the truth, I will become lost in a deep depression.  
KANAYA: I Can Certainly Sympathize With That  
KANAYA: As A Matter Of Fact I Am Feeling Quite Depressed Myself Right About Now  
ROSE: I don’t blame you. Our impending doom is hard to swallow.  
KANAYA: How Can I Help  
ROSE: Ah, yes.  
ROSE: I asked you here to have a talk about troll psychology. It seems to me that Gamzee is dealing with some sort of mental illness, but I’m not sure if I am qualified to diagnose him. After all, he is a troll. Whatever I know of mental illness may not even apply to him.  
KANAYA: I See  
KANAYA: I’M Afraid I Won’T Be Of Much Help In That Regard  
KANAYA: Psychology Has Never Been My Strong Suit  
KANAYA: I Heard Through The Purple Berry Vine That Sollux Dealt With Something Called Bipolar Personality Disorder But I Cannot Be Certain If That Was True Or Just Slanderous Gossip  
ROSE: Huh. Humans have a mental illness with the exact same name. It was characterized by periods of abnormally high energy, called mania, consistently flip-flopping with periods of abnormally low energy, called depression.  
KANAYA: I Do Not Know Sollux Well But I Think That Sounds Rather Applicable To Him  
ROSE: I see. Could it be that trolls and humans have similar brains? Unfortunately, I can’t confirm or deny that.  
ROSE: Do you happen to have any literature on troll psychology around here?  
KANAYA: I Wish That I Did  
ROSE: What about books on anatomy? If I could see a diagram of a trolls’ brain, perhaps I can better understand how similar or different we are.  
KANAYA: That I Do Have  
KANAYA: Let Me Go Find It  
ROSE: Thank you, Kanaya.

  
You stand up as carefully as you can, hoping not to topple any towers of books over. Kanaya sees where you are going with this and meets you for a kiss halfway. She is the best kisser. It is her.

KANAYA: I Would Like To State For The Record That I Still Believe We Should Just Lock The Clown Up Someplace From Which He Cannot Escape  
KANAYA: Also That I Don’T Have Much Faith In This Plan Of Yours But I Have Learned Better Than To Try To Stop You And Your Foolishly Improbable Schemes   
KANAYA: So I Will Help You In Any Way That I Can  
ROSE: Thank you, my love. You are the best matesprit a human could ask for.  
KANAYA: And You Are The Best Girlfriend A Troll Could Ask For

  
\---

==>Rose: Be Terezi now

It’s time to end this chapter as Terezi. Unlike Gamzee and Rose, you have yet to reveal your secrets to your significant other.

As it stands, you are chilling out in his bed. Your head is resting on his shoulder, and neither of you are speaking. It’s been like this a lot recently. It used to be so easy to just trade sarcastic quips for hours on end. Now that you’ve run out of jokes, you don’t know what to say to this human that you love and then betrayed.

Do you tell Dave about Gamzee? Are you ready to possibly lose his affection forever?

When you put it that way, no, no you aren’t. You aren’t ready to say goodbye to this relationship. Even if the sparks and romance have died down, you still love Dave.

The thought of never being able to hold him again… it aches sharp and deep, right under your ribcage.

DAVE: babe?  
  
Oh, shit. You didn’t realize that he had woken up. You stop breathing out of some nonsensical knee jerk reaction.

What do you do now? Your head spins. Your heart races.

DAVE: tz youre not wearing your shades i can see your eyes are open  
TEREZI: OH  
DAVE: is there a reason you look so petrified  
DAVE: did you smell a spider somewhere  
DAVE: shit wait dont tell me i dont want to know just get up and kill it  
TEREZI: TH3R3S NO SP1D3RS TH4T 1 C4N SM3LL  
DAVE: are you absolutely sure  
TEREZI: Y3S D4V3 OUR R3SP1T3BLOCK 1S 4R4CHN1D FR33  
DAVE: ok cool  
DAVE: so whats with the face  
TEREZI: WOW D4V3 RUD3 WH4TS W1TH YOUR F4C3  
DAVE: you know what i mean babe stop dodging the question like i dont know all of your avoidance techniques by now cmon  
DAVE: youre doing my admittedly shitty memory a huge disservice right now by acting like i dont know how to recognize your signature bullshitting maneuver when i see it  
DAVE: seriously whats on your mind boo  
TEREZI: NOTH1NG YOU W4NT TO KNOW 4BOUT  
DAVE: wow what a vague non answer that was  
DAVE: how do you know i dont want to know i mean ill admit you know me pretty damn well but you never know i may surprise you and be supremely grateful you told me  
DAVE: i just said “know” too many times but you know what i mean  
TEREZI: 1 H1GHLY DOUBT YOULL B3 GR4T3FUL  
DAVE: ok but like  
DAVE: you should tell me anyway  
DAVE: now that i know theres a juicy secret im like the metaphorical cat  
DAVE: curiosity has got a hold of me and i cant go back until i get my satisfaction and by satisfaction i mean like knowing whatever the fuck it is youre hiding from me and not like a sexual satisfaction  
DAVE: though lets put that thought on the back burner for now because who knows it may become relevant later  
TEREZI: UGH  
TEREZI: NO 1 C4NT T3LL YOU YOUR3 NOT T4K1NG TH1S S3R1OUSLY 4T 4LL  
DAVE: ok so ill take this seriously  
DAVE: terezi cmon youre starting to worry me  
TEREZI: Y34H 1M ST4RT1NG TO WORRY MYS3LF

  
There’s really no reason to keep dragging this out now. Dave knows something is up, and he’s gotten fairly good at figuring out when you’re lying by now.

Besides, you don’t want to lie to Dave. You owe him the truth. You’re just not sure if you’re strong enough to give it to him.

First things first. You shouldn’t be nestled up against him in bed when you tell him. You want to steal one last kiss from his lips, but that would be massively unfair. So you suck it up like the big troll you are, and move to sit cross-legged on the far corner of the bed.

DAVE: do you really need to be over there  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1T WOULD B3 FOR TH3 B3ST  
DAVE: oh fuck  
DAVE: this is like some really nasty shit isnt it?  
DAVE: like youre about to drop a couple of atomic bombs on our relationship right about now  
TEREZI: Y34H B4S1C4LLY  
DAVE: shit  
TEREZI: 1M SO SORRY D4V3  
DAVE: oh god  
DAVE: are you breaking up with me?  
TEREZI: WH4T  
TEREZI: NO NO 1 D1D SOM3TH1NG HORR1BL3 4ND 1  
TEREZI: 1 JUST N33D YOU TO KNOW TH4T 1 4M S1NC3R3LY SORRY 4ND 1 N3V3R M34NT FOR 4NY OF 1T TO H4PP3N  
DAVE: ok but i have no idea what youre apologizing for so  
DAVE: im super confused on what you expect me to say like i cant forgive you until i know what youve done  
TEREZI: 1 KNOW 1 KNOW  
TEREZI: TH1S 1S R34LLY H4RD  
DAVE: thats what she said  
DAVE: sorry force of habit  
DAVE: wow im so nervous please just tell me and end the suspense tz i cant take the suspense any longer  
DAVE: what did you do?  
DAVE: did you cheat on me?  
TEREZI: WH4T  
TEREZI: WHY WOULD YOU S4Y TH4T  
TEREZI: 1 M34N  
DAVE: you mean what?  
DAVE: was it karkat?  
TEREZI: WH4T NO 1 D1DNT CH34T ON YOU W1TH K4RK4T  
DAVE: not rose please tell me you didnt sleep with rose i appreciate the idea of scoring twins in theory but in reality it creeps me the fuck out  
TEREZI: NO GOD  
TEREZI: D4V3 SHUT UP FOR 4 S3COND  
TEREZI: 1 D1DNT T3CHN1C4LLY CH34T ON YOU  
DAVE: what the fuck is that supposed to mean?  
DAVE: how can you non technically cheat on someone?  
DAVE: wait  
TEREZI: UM W3LL  
DAVE: oh god wait  
DAVE: this is troll quadrant bullshit isnt it  
TEREZI: UM Y34H 1T 1S  
DAVE: oh god oh no oh god  
TEREZI: 1M SORRY D4V3  
DAVE: dont sorry dave me just tell me who and what square it was in  
TEREZI: 1T W4S G4MZ33  
DAVE: gamzee?  
DAVE: gamzee the schizophrenic clown??  
DAVE: that gamzee???  
TEREZI: NO TH3 OTH3R G4MZ33  
DAVE: what the actual fuck terezi  
TEREZI: 1 KNOW 1 KNOW YOU H4T3 M3  
DAVE: what quadrant  
TEREZI: K1SM3S1SS1TUD3  
DAVE: isnt that like the hate boning one?  
DAVE: have you been sleeping with gamzee??  
DAVE: because to humans thats not technically not cheating thats just straight up cheating there  
TEREZI: 1 KNOOOOW OK4Y  
DAVE: no i dont think you do know  
DAVE: i was expecting some really fucked up shit but i think this tops the manure cake  
DAVE: i…  
DAVE: i honestly dont even know what to say  
DAVE: i dont know if im more nauseated by the idea of you and gamzee   
DAVE: or hurt because you fucking cheated on me  
DAVE: oh god

  
Dave buries his face into his hands. You’re about to tell him about Rose’s offer to auspistize the two of you when you hear Dave hiccup back a sob.

The words die on your tongue.

The love of your life is crying, and he probably hates you more than Gamzee ever could. And it’s even worse because you brought this all on yourself.

DAVE: you should leave  
  
You almost say “what?” but quickly swallow that back. You don’t need to hear him say that twice.

It’s hard to move around when your eyes are full of tears and your nose full of snot. The world is even more blurry than usual. You trip over onto the floor and crawl as quickly as you can towards the door.

Once you’ve escaped into the hall, you are frozen with indecision. Where do you go? You moved most of your stuff into Dave’s block long ago.

Maybe you should go to the nearest ablution trap. You think you’re about to be sick.


	4. Chapter 4

DAY 4: DECEMBER 8TH

Things have gotten off on an incredibly rocky start. Firstly, Terezi has refused to show up to yet another feelings jam. I’m afraid to ask Dave if they’ve officially broken things off. Not that he’d give me a straight answer, anyway.

I have been working one on one with Gamzee, biding my time for things to blow over.

Kanaya’s anatomy books have been incredibly enlightening in some ways. For one, it seems as though there are few differences between the troll brain and the human brain. I suppose this is because we were made in their image.

On the less positive hand, I am finding it challenging to diagnose Gamzee. The fact that I can’t always decipher what he is saying is a big part of my continuing failure, I suspect.

I should take the fact that our timeline has not yet erased itself from existence as a sign that whatever it is I am doing will eventually become important, and dare I say, necessary. And yet I cannot shake the feeling that I am messing everything up.

-Rose Lalonde  
  
\--

For the third time, despite the numerous messages you sent her, Terezi does not show up for your scheduled feelings jam. So it’s just you, Gamzee, and a stack of psychology books.

Gamzee glances to the door for the fourth time in the last two or three minutes.

ROSE: I don’t think Terezi is coming.  
GAMZEE: YEAH, STARTING TO BE LOOKING THAT MOTHER FUCKIN WAY.  
GAMZEE: it’s a real shame that dave went and flipped a cold shoulder on her on account of us, but i would’ve thought our blind sister could stand to uphold our newest miracle ashen arrangement.  
GAMZEE: SINCE IT’S STILL BEING A BIG UNHEALTHY THING BREWING ITSELF BETWEEN US.  
ROSE: Terezi will come back in time. I hope.  
GAMZEE: so, sis?  
GAMZEE: WE GONNA TRY TO MOTHER FUCKIN LABEL WHAT’S ALL ILL IN MY THINK PAN AGAIN?  
ROSE: If you don’t mind.  
GAMZEE: nah, can’t say that i do.  
ROSE: Alright then. Let’s try something new. Let me list some common symptoms of various illnesses, instead of focusing on just one, and we’ll see which ones you have.  
ROSE: At least that way we can start ruling things out.  
GAMZEE: SOUNDS PERFECTLY FUCKIN LOGICAL.  
ROSE: Okay, first symptom. Do you ever dissociate?   
GAMZEE: uhhhh.  
ROSE: Do you ever feel like you or the world around you isn’t real? Or do you ever question whether something is an actual memory or just your imagination? Do you have a hard time separating what exists in your mind from what exists in reality?  
GAMZEE: WELL, MOTHER FUCKIN SHIT, SISTER.  
GAMZEE: can’t some things be both all real in mind and in reality?  
ROSE: Um, like what? Give me an example.  
GAMZEE: LIKE HOW IF YOU UP AND THINK THAT’S SOME THING IS REAL MOTHER FUCKIN HARD ENOUGH, IT COMES TRUE.  
ROSE: That’s… still very vague. I’m afraid I don’t understand your train of thought.  
GAMZEE: well… okay.  
GAMZEE: SAY I’M ALL WALKING ROUND IN THE DREAM BUBBLES. AND I THINK UP, OH, I’D LIKE A DOOR HERE. AND THEN THAT DOOR ALL MAGICKS IT’S WAY INTO BEING.  
ROSE: Oh, well. That’s different. The dream bubbles are specialized in materializing what’s in a person’s mind. I apologize, that was a misleading question.  
ROSE: I meant that more in the sense of… uh, have you ever had a daydream that you became convinced was a memory?  
GAMZEE: uhhh, well, i guess yeah.  
ROSE: Please elaborate, if you don’t mind.  
GAMZEE: BACK WHEN IT ALL STARTED.  
GAMZEE: from before karkat got his righteous pap hand on and calmed this brother the mother fuck down.  
GAMZEE: LOTS OF SHIT WENT DOWN THAT I AIN’T ALL SURE ACTUALLY HAPPENED. WELL, I’M ALL KNOWING IT WENT DOWN THE WAY I REMEMBERED IT DID, IT’S JUST I’M HOPING AGAINST ALL ODDS IT WAS IMAGINED.  
GAMZEE: though perhaps at the time I was real mother fuckin sure it was a thing that was real.  
ROSE: You’ve lost me. I apologize. Can you try to be more specific?  
GAMZEE: LIKE THE HEADS, SISTER.  
ROSE: The heads? Oh, you mean of the trolls who passed? I heard that you took off their heads, when you were in that enraged state.  
GAMZEE: yeah, i sure did.  
GAMZEE: I WAS ALL IN THE MIND SET OF BELIEVING THAT IT WAS A FUNNY THING TO DO. A REAL MOTHER FUCKIN RIOT OF A JOKE.  
GAMZEE: i even got around to talking to the heads.  
GAMZEE: WHICH IS SOME STRAIGHT UP FUCKED UP SHIT, ACTING LIKE THEY WERE STILL ALIVE AND REASONED ENOUGH TO TALK BACK.  
GAMZEE: i don’t really got my know on to if…  
GAMZEE: IF I EVER WAS IN THE KNOW TO WHETHER THEY WERE DEAD, IF I WAS ALL WICKED IN DOUBT OF THE TRUTH  
GAMZEE: or if i didn’t care that they had all passed on.  
GAMZEE: BUT IF GOT TO BE ALL MOTHER FUCKIN HONEST WITH A SISTER  
GAMZEE: i’d say it was being both things.  
ROSE: You say that a lot, Gamzee.  
GAMZEE: SAY WHAT, MOTHER FUCKER?  
ROSE: That two opposite scenarios are true, at the same time. You say that you didn’t know your friends were dead, and that you also knew, but didn’t care.   
ROSE: Do you mean that, subconsciously you knew they were dead, but you were refusing to believe it?  
GAMZEE: maybe, sister. that sounds like some thing that may all be wicked true.  
ROSE: And you say that you didn’t care that they were dead?  
GAMZEE: WELL, COURSE I CARED, ROSE.  
GAMZEE: they were all being my friends, and if there’s one thing this clueless clown ain’t all mother fuckin backwards on, it’s knowing that friendship is being the most beautiful thing that ever got existing.  
GAMZEE: BUT SIMULTANEOUSLY I WAS GETTING A REAL SICK KICK OUT OF KNOWING THEY WERE ALL PUSHING UP MOTHER FUCKIN DAISIES.  
ROSE: You seem to be conflicted on a lot of issues. Is it possible that you have some unresolved anger towards your friends? I don’t want to seem like I’m invading your privacy, but I have heard that your friends didn’t always treat you so kindly back on Alternia.  
GAMZEE: nah, that wasn’t no mother fuckers fault but my own. back home, i was always tripping my pan over sopor, and acting like a real ass of a fool.  
GAMZEE: I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AUTHORITATIVE LIKE A RIGHTEOUS TROLL OF MY CASTE OUGHT TO ALL MOTHER FUCKIN BE.  
GAMZEE: no fuckin wonder no brother could be tolerating my shit.  
ROSE: Is that why you became violent? To earn your peers’ approval?  
GAMZEE: I BECAME WHAT THEY ALL WANTED OF ME, ROSE.  
GAMZEE: but, no. ain’t why i turned wrathful god on their blaspheming asses.  
GAMZEE: JUST SOME HORRIBLE IRONY SHIT PLAYED OUT THAT WAY.  
ROSE: Then, may I ask why you turned on your friends? I’ve heard the short version. My ecto-brother sent you an Earth video that insulted your beliefs, you had a crisis of faith, declared yourself the new god, and began to attack your friends. Am I missing something?  
GAMZEE: nah, that’s sounding all fuckin straight.  
ROSE: But you no longer believe that you’re a god, yes?  
GAMZEE: I AIN’T A GOD THE WAY I WAS THINKING I WAS BEFORE.  
GAMZEE: turns out i’m just…  
GAMZEE: NEVER MIND.  
ROSE: Wait, what? Turns out that you’re just… what?  
ROSE: It sounded like we were getting somewhere. Won’t you tell me what you were going to say?  
GAMZEE: sorry, sister. my brain just glitched out like a mother fuckin grubtop that got faygo spilt on it. don’t remember where i was all up and headed with that train of thought.  
ROSE: Oh.  
ROSE: That’s a shame. Perhaps we’ll let that go for now, and you’ll remember what you were thinking about later on.  
GAMZEE: HONK.  
ROSE: You do like to honk a lot. How long have you been doing that?  
GAMZEE: shit, sister.  
GAMZEE: AS FAR BACK AS MY PAN’S ALLOWED TO RECALL, I GUESS.  
GAMZEE: since i was fuckin learning to write, at least.  
ROSE: Seriously?  
ROSE: Do you know why you honk?  
GAMZEE: I’M ALL UP AND BEING A MOTHER FUCKIN CLOWN, AIN’T I? WHAT TYPE OF NO GOOD CLOWN DON’T HONK NOW AND FUCKIN AGAIN?  
ROSE: That’s a fair point.  
  
Thoughts are whirling around in your head. You will have to start paying more attention to when Gamzee honks, and see if you can find a pattern. 

Before you can follow up with another question, the door behind you swings open.

A troll you don’t recognize, with wide horns like Rufioh, charges into the room. His eyes are completely yellow; the meteor must have collided with a dream bubble.

TAVROS: gAMZEE, iS THAT YOU,

Gamzee turns stiff, and then whips around to look at Tavros. His expression — you can’t find a good word to describe it. It’s not quite joy, and it’s not quite terror, but maybe something in between. 

You scoot back and watch them interact.

GAMZEE: tav bro?  
TAVROS: iT IS YOU, oH WOW,  
TAVROS: i WAS TOLD, bY A LITTLE BIRD, tHAT YOU WERE HERE,  
TAVROS: aND BY LITTLE BIRD, oF COURSE, i MEAN PROVERBIALLY, aND NOT LITERALLY,  
TAVROS: iT WAS ACTUALLY ARADIA, wHO MENTIONED SEEING YOU HERE,  
TAVROS: aND I DIDN’T BELIEVE HER,  
TAVROS: sO NOW I OWE HER AN APOLOGY, i THINK, bECAUSE SHE WAS RIGHT, yOU ARE HERE, aND IN ONE PIECE, aND ALIVE  
TAVROS: i’M SO HAPPY,  
TAVROS: }:)  
  
Gamzee seems to be frozen in place. You remember that this troll’s name is Tavros, and feel a bit sorry for him. He seems genuinely confused as to why Gamzee is being so quiet.

It’s time for you to step in for your… auspisticee? Ashmate? You’ll have to ask Kanaya for the correct term later.

ROSE: You’re Tavros, correct? I’m Rose, Gamzee’s friend and recently self-appointed auspistice.  
TAVROS: wHOA, aN AUSPISTICE,  
TAVROS: wHO’S THE THIRD LEAF, iF THAT’S NOT TOO PERSONAL A QUESTION, fOR YOU TO BE COMFORTABLE ANSWERING, iN WHICH CASE I APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO FORWARD,  
ROSE: I don’t mind. Gamzee, do you want to tell Tavros?  
GAMZEE: UHHHH.  
GAMZEE: nah, don’t bother me none.  
ROSE: It’s Terezi. I’m auspistizing Gamzee and Terezi.  
TAVROS: hUH, i WOULDN’T HAVE GUESSED THAT,  
TAVROS: yOUR SESSION MUST HAVE TAKEN A DIFFERENT TURN, uH, tHAN MINE DID,  
TAVROS: bUT I’M HAPPY TO HEAR THAT, aND OH YEAH, i FORGOT TO SAY THIS EARLIER, bUT IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU TOO, rOSE,  
TAVROS: i NEVER GOT TO MEET YOU, iN MY SESSION, bUT I HAVE MET SOME VERSIONS OF YOU, iN THE DREAM BUBBLES, tHOUGH I DON’T BELIEVE WE’VE TALKED THAT MUCH,  
TAVROS: sO SORRY, fOR THAT,  
ROSE: No need to apologize. It sounds like we’ve just never had a reason to converse.  
TAVROS: tHAT’S TRUE,  
TAVROS: bUT, uH,  
TAVROS: i REALLY DON’T WANT TO SOUND RUDE HERE, sINCE WE JUST GOT FORMALLY INTRODUCED, aND ALL,  
TAVROS: bUT I’D LIKE TO CATCH UP WITH GAMZEE, aLONE,  
TAVROS: iF UH, yOU DON’T MIND TOO MUCH,  
ROSE: No, I don’t mind at all!   
ROSE: I will gladly give the two of you some space to talk. Let me gather up my books, and I shall be on my way.  
  
You captchalogue your texts as quick as you can without seeming like you’re rushing, and head off towards the door. You wave good-bye to Gamzee as you go, but he just blinks back at you. Obviously he’s still quite taken off guard, the poor thing.

\--

==>Rose: Become Terezi so we can see how she’s doing

It’s painful being Terezi right now, but alright. You have been mostly avoiding everyone, even the Mayor. There’s too high a chance you could run into Dave if you visited the Mayor.

The one thing you didn’t count on was that hiding away from everyone would be _so boring_. You even left your scalemates back in Dave’s room, so you can’t even play pretend with them. All you do is doodle on the walls in chalk, alchemize things for your new block, and occasionally sneak to the kitchen to grab some food.

You’ve kept your scalemate cape, which means you can pretend to be a dragon, and dragons prefer their own company anyway.

Still, when you hear a lot of chatter down the hall, many of the voices from people you know are dead, you can’t help but feel relieved to talk to someone who doesn’t know what a mess you’ve made of your life.

One voice in particular brings a bright smile to your face.

You sneak out down the hall to the common area, and take a whiff of who is inside. The person you’re seeking out is in the corner, giggling at something Feferi said.

Time to interrupt.

TEREZI: H3Y STR4NG3R  
  
You hear Nepeta take in a sharp breath as she sees you.

NEPETA: :33 < terezi! omg it’s so furry nice to s33 you!  
NEPETA: :33 < it’s b33n so long since we’ve rped together, or at least since i’ve rped with alpha timeline terezi :33  
NEPETA: :33 < what have you b33n up to?  
TEREZI: GOD SO M4NY SH3N4N1G4NS YOU DON’T 3V3N KNOW  
TEREZI: BUT H3Y  
TEREZI: C4N W3 GO T4LK SOM3WH3R3 3LS3  
TEREZI: NO OFF3NS3 F3F3R1  
FEFERI: None taken! Glub wit)( )(er all you want. It sounds like you )(ave some searious business to discuss!  
TEREZI: TH4NKS F3F3R1  
  
You begin to retreat back to your block, and Nepeta skitters on behind you. Even without sight, you can tell that Nepeta is confused. But you don’t explain yourself until you can shut the door closed behind you.

NEPETA: :33 < is something wrong?  
TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG H4S GON3 TO SH1T B4S1C4LLY  
TEREZI: 4ND 1’M SORRY FOR DR4GG1NG YOU 1N H3R3 TO L1ST3N TO MY T4L3 OF WO3 4ND WH4TNOT BUT  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T R34LLY H4V3 4NYON3 3LS3 ON TH1S STUP1D M3T3OR TO TURN TO!  
NEPETA: :33 < no no that’s fine i will happily listen!  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m just concerned fur you is all.  
TEREZI: TRUST M3 YOU’LL B3 3V3N MOR3 CONC3RN3D 4FT3R 1’V3 3XPL41N3D 3V3RYTH1NG  
TEREZI: YOU M1GHT 3V3N H4T3 M3 UGH  
NEPETA: :33 < nonsense! i could nefur hate you, terezi.  
NEPETA: :33 < does this purrchance have anything to do with quadrants and romance?  
TEREZI: HOW D1D YOU KNOW  
NEPETA: :33 < well you did turn to me fur help, h33h33.  
TEREZI: OH  
TEREZI: W3LL 1 WOULD H4V3 TURN3D TO YOU 3V3N 1F 1T W4SN’T ROM4NC3 R3L4T3D PROB4BLY  
NEPETA: :33 < so what’s the purroblem?  
NEPETA: :33 < is karkitten being difficult?  
TEREZI: K4RK4T WH4T  
TEREZI: OH NO  
TEREZI: K4RK4T 4ND 1 4R3N’T 1N 4NY QU4DR4NT  
TEREZI: W3 D4NC3D 4ROUND FLUSH3D 4ND P1TCH FOR 4 WH1L3 UNT1L H3 ST4RT3D B31NG 4 J34LOUS 4SSHOL3 4ND 1 CUT TH4T BULLSH1T DOWN QU1CK  
NEPETA: :33 < oh i s33  
NEPETA: :33 < then?  
NEPETA: :33 < oh! have you entered a quadrant with a human?  
NEPETA: :33 < how pawsitively adorable! i always thought that they were nice people.  
NEPETA: :33 < who is it? not rose, i heard she was with kanaya…  
NEPETA: :33 < ooooooh!!! is it akwete purrmusk? sollux was always complaining about you fawning over the guy  
TEREZI: 4KW3T3 WHO  
NEPETA: :33 < the dave human silly  
NEPETA: :33 < that was his fursona that he used to rp with h33h33  
NEPETA: :33 < i don’t think he took it furry seriously but he was fun to talk to anyway  
TEREZI: H4H4H4  
TEREZI: H3 N3V3R TOLD M3 4BOUT TH4T  
NEPETA: :33 < really? that’s curious  
NEPETA: :33 < but nefurmind that  
NEPETA: :33 < i interrupted you  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: W3LL 1 K1ND OF ROY4LLY SCR3W3D TH1NGS UP W1TH D4V3  
TEREZI: BY GO1NG P1TCH W1TH G4MZ33  
NEPETA: :33 < with gamz33?  
NEPETA: :33 < i always thought the two of you would be cute together flushed  
TEREZI: OH GOD NO 1 C4N’T ST4ND TH3 GUY  
TEREZI: 3SP3C14LLY NOW S1NC3 H3’S GOT TH4T W31RD SPL1T P3RSON4L1TY TH1NG GO1NG ON  
NEPETA: :33 < h33h33 i know it was more of a crack pairing  
NEPETA: :33 < so why is your kitmesissitude with gamz33 ruining your matespritship with dave?  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 HUM4NS ONLY H4V3 ON3 CONCUP1SC3NT P4RTN3R 4PP4R3NTLY  
TEREZI: 4ND H4V1NG MOR3 TH4N ON3 1S CONS1D3R3D CH34T1NG  
NEPETA: :33 < oh no :((  
NEPETA: :33 < you should explain to him that you didn’t know!  
TEREZI: BUT TH4T’S TH3 TH1NG  
TEREZI: 1 D1D KNOW 4ND 1 W3NT 4ND D1D 1T 4NYW4Y B3C4US3  
TEREZI: 1 DON’T 3V3N KNOW WHY  
TEREZI: 1 W4S JUST SO 4NGRY 4T G4MZ33 4ND 1 W4NT3D TO W1P3 TH4T STUP1D SMUG GR1N OFF OF H1S STUP1D SMUG F4C3  
TEREZI: NOW D4V3 KNOWS 4ND H3’S R3FUS1NG TO T4LK TO M3  
TEREZI: NOT TH4T 1 BL4M3 H1M GOD 1V3 B33N H1D1NG TH1S S3CR3T FOR H1M FOR 4LMOST 4 WHOL3 SW33P NOW  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m so sorry to hear that, terezi  
NEPETA: :33 < gosh that sounds like a complicated situation and i’m not entirely sure i know enough about human culture to help you  
TEREZI: TH4T’S OK4Y 1 JUST TH1NK 1 N33D3D TO T4LK TO SOM3ON3 WHO DO3SN’T 4LR34DY TH1NK 1’M TH3 WORST P3RSON 1N TH3 UN1V3RS3  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m sure no one else thinks that  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK TH4T  
TEREZI: 4CTU4LLY W41T NO  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 1S TH3 WORST P3RSON 1N TH3 UN1V3RS3  
TEREZI: FOR DR4GG1NG M3 1NTO TH1S R3PULS1V3 P1TCH 4FF41R W1TH H1M  
NEPETA: :33 < hmmmmm  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m not quite sure what to say  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m very sad fur both you and dave  
NEPETA: :33 < wait i have an idea  
NEPETA: :33 < would you like me to speak to dave?  
TEREZI: WH4T NO  
NEPETA: :33 < are you sure  
TEREZI: W3LL NO  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1 JUST DON’T KNOW HOW TH4T COULD H3LP  
NEPETA: :33 < well i don’t know how it could hurt either  
NEPETA: :33 < i’m actually kind of excited to talk to mister purrmusk again he was always so funny to listen to  
NEPETA: :33 < kind of like karkat but not as angry  
NEPETA: :33 < and i could offur to listen to his side of the story  
NEPETA: :33 < sometimes just talking things out can make everyone f33l a whole lot better  
TEREZI: TH4T 4CTU4LLY M4K3S 4 B1T OF S3NS3  
TEREZI: OH 4LR1GHT  
TEREZI: 1F YOU DON’T M1ND JUST DON’T PUSH H1M OK4Y  
TEREZI: H3 C4N B3 V3RY C4G3Y SOM3T1M3S L1K3 P4RT1CUL4RLY WH3N 1T COM3S TO HOW H3 F33LS  
NEPETA: :33 < okay i will k33p that in mind  
NEPETA: :33 < but fur now  
NEPETA: :33 < why don’t we catch up more on what’s b33n going on?  
NEPETA: :33 < it might take your mind off of dave  
TEREZI: OK4Y TH4T’S F41R  
TEREZI: T3LL M3 4BOUT TH3 S3SS1ON YOU W3R3 FROM 4ND WH4T YOU’V3 B33N DO1NG 1N TH3 DR34M BUBBL3S  
TEREZI: 1T S33MS L1K3 4N 4WFULLY BOR1NG W4Y TO SP3ND YOUR UNL1F3  
NEPETA: :33 < that’s not true!  
NEPETA: :33 < with the dream bubbles you can visit any place that anyone has efur b33n  
NEPETA: :33 < there are a lot of fun places and things to do on earth  
  
Nepeta begins to chatter on about things she calls communal activity hives such as bowling alleys and ice skating rinks, and it does sound like a fun time. You allow yourself to forget about your romantic troubles for the moment, and just focus on shooting the breeze with your old friend.

\--

==>Terezi: You seem better; let’s switch back to being Rose

Impeccable timing! You are having a nice conversation with Kanaya, Meenah, and Aranea. This version of the two dancestors are matesprits, and have drifted over to talk to you. Apparently they find your cross-species relationship fascinating. It is the perfect opportunity to gather intel on their session’s Makara.

MEENAH: aight are you shittin me lalonde cause i fink i heard correctly what youre shellin me but that cant be true cause what youre shellin me is some rich cullshit  
ROSE: I assure you, I am not pulling your tailfin.  
MEENAH: oi thats gillarious  
MEENAH: what kind a basswards society has only one quadrant  
ARANEA: That is incredi8ly difficult to wrap one’s head around, isn’t it? Though it is fascinating, to learn a8out another specie’s culture.  
ROSE: I agree wholeheartedly.  
MEENAH: ok so i dont want to be offinsive or nofin but ok so pike are you humans just knot complex enough to diffinentiate between the four romantic eelings  
MEENAH: i guess i cod understand that i mean lobsta trolls get mixed up aboat it themshells  
KANAYA: I Do Not Believe That Is It At All  
KANAYA: I Think Humans Simply Do Not Experience Any Romantic Attraction Excluding Flushed Attraction  
ROSE: While that’s a valid theory, I am not convinced it is true. Recently, I have become involved in an auspisticism after feeling the desire to mettle in someone else’s failed relationship. While I would have ordinarily labeled my feelings as a platonic concern for friends, perhaps that is only because I have never thought to consider the existence of a romance built on that sort of relationship dynamic.  
MEENAH: youre krilling me lalonde  
MEENAH: auspisticing trolls when you aint efin shore if youre waxin ashen for them  
MEENAH: i gotta shell you i admire your koihoonies  
ROSE: Thank you, Meenah.  
KANAYA: Hmmm  
ROSE: It sounds like you’re less convinced, Kanaya.  
KANAYA: Yes Well I Suppose I Am Finding It Difficult To Imagine Anyone Having Ashen Desires Concerning  
KANAYA: The Clown  
ARANEA: The younger Makara, you mean? I have to say, I am quite perplexed 8y him. He is the only one of the post-scratch trolls that I have yet to introduce myself to.  
KANAYA: That Is Likely Because He Is A Social Hermit  
KANAYA: Count Your Continued Existence Free Of Him As A Blessing  
ARANEA: Oh my, is he that 8ad?  
ROSE: Kanaya believes he is, and would tell you so in many more words if you give her the opportunity.   
MEENAH: oooh dont shell me troutble is brewin in paradise  
ARANEA: Meenah, that pun was an un8elievable reach even for you.  
ROSE: Don’t fret about us, girls. I promise you that Kanaya and I do not allow our differing opinions of Gamzee come between us. In any case, she knows him better than I do.   
KANAYA: That Is Not Entirely True Is It  
KANAYA: I Have Been Acquainted With Him Longer Yes But I Do Not Remember A Single Moment Where I Have Had A One On One Conversation With Him  
ROSE: Truly?  
KANAYA: Yes I Am Now Quite Certain Of It  
ROSE: That is a shame. Whatever you think of him, Gamzee is quite the conversationalist. He speaks in such a poetic, if highly bewildering, manner.  
ARANEA: That is strange to hear. Our Makara has not spoken for eons, not since long 8efore we 8egan playing our version of the game, 8ut I don’t remem8er him 8eing poetic.  
ARANEA: Actually, he was most vexing to listen to.  
MEENAH: oh yeah he was alwaves glubbin on aboat fins pike fate an destiny an punfishments an shit pike that  
MEENAH: reel porpoise guy when you get down to it  
ARANEA: Porpoise?  
MEENAH: pompous  
KANAYA: That Is Not Unlike Gamzee  
KANAYA: Though He Was Not Always That Way Recently He Has Become Quite Full Of Himself  
MEENAH: must be a makora fin  
  
That gives you pause. Perhaps you can learn more about Gamzee by learning about his dancestor. After all, they were the same caste, weren’t they? Kurloz was from a different version of the same planet, sure, but he was still a troll. His DNA would have been the same as Gamzee’s ancestor back on Alternia.

ROSE: What else can you tell me about Kurloz?  
MEENAH: water you askin for  
MEENAH: lookin to hook another makora into your quadrants for the halibut  
ROSE: What? No, of course not. I don’t even know the guy.  
ROSE: But I am having a little trouble understanding some of the things Gamzee talks about, and perhaps Kurloz could help interpret for me.  
ARANEA: Unless you know 8eforan Sign Language, I dou8t that Kurloz would 8e a8le to help you.  
ROSE: Is it different from Earth Sign Language?  
ROSE: Oh, but wait, what does it matter? I don’t even know Earth Sign Language. Fuck, that’s not going to work.  
MEENAH: yeah the only one of us that knows sign language is meulin i fink maybe you otter glub with her aboat it  
ROSE: That’s not a bad idea.  
KANAYA: Just Try Not To Stand Too Close Or Else You May Permanently Damage Your Ears  
ROSE: Oh, right. She’s the one who screams everything she says, isn’t she?  
MEENAH: thats the one  
ARANEA: I have warned her a8out her volume on numerous occasions, 8ut I don’t 8elieve she cares. She hasn’t made any attempt to speak in a quieter voice.  
MEENAH: are you shore they were all the same meulin  
ARANEA: I… did not consider the possi8ility that I was lecturing multiple Meulins, no.  
MEENAH: fuckin dream bubbles  
ROSE: In any case, thank you. I will definitely try to converse with Kurloz through Meulin. But before I go off and do that, is there anything else I should know about Kurloz?  
MEENAH: pike what  
MEENAH: i mean aranea here cod shell you everyfin there is to know aboat kurloz but unless you narrow the topic down some shes gonna be glubbin on for hours at least  
ARANEA: What! Well, excuse me for wanting to explain things transparently and comprehensively.   
MEENAH: aww you know i fink its cute when you get glubbin on a topic but rose aint dead she shrimply doesnt have an eternity to hear your whole lesson through  
ROSE: Well, I am curious as to what role Kurloz played in your session. Has he ever… beheaded someone, for example?  
MEENAH: what  
ARANEA: Oh no, I can assure you that no Kurloz I know of has ever committed such an act.  
ARANEA: If I’m to 8e honest, I’ve never 8een a fan of him. 8ut for what it’s worth, he was mostly harmless. Kurloz rarely interacted with anyone 8ut Meulin and Mituna. The worst thing he ever did was wander off 8y himself during important 8attles. Kurloz was not someone who cared a8out the virtue of teamwork. Though, I can’t say for sure what he even does care a8out. It’s not as though he has a slew of ho88ies.  
MEENAH: he pikes to get high a lot  
ARANEA: True, but I wouldn’t say that counts as a ho88y. It’s more of an unfortunate lifestyle choice. One that he eventually roped Meulin into, might I add.  
ARANEA: In summation, he was 8asically of no use to the team whatsoever.  
KANAYA: That Was A Rather Harsh Thing To Say  
KANAYA: Though It Does Remind Me Of How Gamzee Used To Be Before He Flew Off The Proverbial Handle And Went Quote Batshit Insane Unquote  
KANAYA: Does That Help You Understand Gamzee Better Rose  
ROSE: I’m not sure, actually. That certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. Kurloz sounds like quite the mystery.  
ROSE: I suppose I better follow up with Meulin. Perhaps she knows better what sorts of shenanigans Kurloz got into when he was neglecting his team.  
KANAYA: Do You Suspect It Was Something Nefarious  
ROSE: Well, you did say that Gamzee’s ancestor was infamous for his brutality and violence. It would make sense to me if Kurloz had a similar temperament.  
ROSE: Oh! One more question.  
ROSE: What was Kurloz’s ancestor like?  
ARANEA: Um, that’s hard to say. It’s not as though Kurloz ever discussed the guy openly with me.  
ARANEA: Though I’ve gathered some information concerning Kurloz’s ancestor through ancient texts over the sweeps, there isn’t all that much to tell.  
ARANEA: What I do know is that he was called the Cruel Disenter, and he was a prominent figurehead in the church before he 8lasphemed and was exiled from the mimastery. So prominent, in fact, that he held the highest rank there was: The High Rapso. 8ut he was plagued with sleep terrors through his entire life, until finally he snapped and attempted to destroy the church.  
ROSE: What, really? For what end?  
ARANEA: From what I read, it seemed that the Disenter thought the church would one day 8e responsi8le for the end of the world. Personally, I 8elieve he just eventually reached a state in which he could not tell his dreams from reality.  
ARANEA: Not to mention that some people in the church thought of his nightmares as premonitions, but as far as I can tell, none of them came true.  
ROSE: That’s extremely interesting.  
KANAYA: How So  
ROSE: Gamzee also suffers from nightmares, I’ve been told.  
MEENAH: dont shell me the clownfish finks his night terrors are visions of the future too  
ROSE: I believe he does, yes. He is often talking about things he hasn’t done yet, but is convinced he will do.  
KANAYA: Nothing Murderous I Hope  
ROSE: It’s all almost entirely of a murderous nature, I’m afraid.  
ARANEA: Well, I would take that as a good omen, if he is anywhere near as 8ad at telling the future as his pre-scratch self was.  
  
You share a look with Kanaya. Unfortunately, you both know this particular nightmare will come true, if you can’t stop it.

There is so much information to take in. Aradia was right to send you in Gamzee’s direction. There is so much about the troll that no one knows about. What is Gamzee’s role in time loops and doomed timelines? How is he connected to any of it?

You think it’s about time you introduce yourself to Kurloz.


	5. Chapter 5

==>Reader: Switch to Gamzee’s POV

You are now Gamzee, and boy is today your lucky day. You haven’t had a proper conversation with Tavros since, well, since he died. Not that this Tavros is your Tavros, necessarily. At least, you don’t think he is. Either way, you suspect asking him might be a tad rude.

And what does it matter? You are just happy to have his company at all. 

You have been walking around the meteor while he had been telling you all about his adventures in the dream bubbles. Then you’d thrown some sick beats down, and now you had both settled into a comfortable silence.

You continue to think about how lucky you are when Tavros speaks up again.

TAVROS: hEY, gAMZEE,  
GAMZEE: yeah, tav bro?  
TAVROS: oKAY, i DON’T WANT TO, uH, mAKE THINGS AWKWARD,  
TAVROS: bUT, i’M STARTING TO SUSPECT THAT, cONTRARY TO WHAT I HAD ASSUMED UPON COMING HERE, uHH,  
TAVROS: tHAT IN YOUR VERSION OF EVENTS, tHE TWO OF US,  
TAVROS: uMMM, wOW, tHIS IS HARD TO SAY,  
GAMZEE: JUST LAY IT ON ME ALL MOTHER FUCKIN STRAIGHT LIKE, BRO. YOU KNOW I AIN’T NONE THE JUDGING TYPE.  
TAVROS: tHAT’S TRUE, yOU ARE CERTAINLY NOT,  
TAVROS: bUT SOMEHOW, tHAT DOES NOT EASE MY, uH, tREPIDATION,  
TAVROS: i THINK IT HAS LESS TO DO WITH YOU, aND YOUR ACCEPTING NATURE, aND MORE TO DO WITH ME, aND MY LACK OF CONFIDENCE,  
GAMZEE: awwww, bro. i always of the notion that you had a fuck ton more confidence than this here filthy clown ever mother fuckin had.  
TAVROS: wOW, rEALLY,  
TAVROS: tHAT IS NICE TO HEAR, aND DOES HELP, aCTUALLY,  
GAMZEE: YEAH, BROTHER? BITCH TITS, I AM REAL MOTHER FUCKIN GLAD TO HAVE BEEN OF SERVICE.  
TAVROS: hAHAHA, yEAH, oK,  
TAVROS: sO THE THING YOU SHOULD KNOW, tHAT I WANT TO TELL YOU, iS THAT IN MY TIMELINE, i AND YOU, i MEAN, yOU AND I,  
TAVROS: wE WERE, uH, mATESPRITS,  
  
You are Gamzee Makara, and your mind has just been blown, like, more than it’s ever been blown before.

GAMZEE: you serious, tav?  
GAMZEE: WE GOT ALL FLUSHED IN ONE BLESSED MOTHER FUCKIN TIMELINE?  
TAVROS: hAHA, yEAH, wE DID,  
TAVROS: bEFORE I DIED, aT THE HANDS OF JACK NOIR, wHICH WAS AWFUL, bUT tavros LEAST IT WAS A QUICK DEATH,  
TAVROS: uM,  
TAVROS: bUT MORE TO THE POINT,  
TAVROS: i WAS SO SAD, bECAUSE WHEN I TRIED TO LOOK FOR YOU, oR ANY VERSION OF YOU, iN THE DREAM BUBBLES,  
TAVROS: yOU WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND,  
TAVROS: }:(  
  
Well, isn’t that just depressing? Your heart feels as though it’s in your throat. It’s hard to think of words to express just how sorry you are.

GAMZEE: tav, i…  
TAVROS: bUT HEY, yOU’RE HERE NOW, eVEN IF YOU’RE ALIVE, i GOT TO SEE YOU AGAIN,  
TAVROS: aND I’M SURE I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER THIS,  
TAVROS: bECAUSE I WILL KEEP SEARCHING, fOR YOU, tHROUGH ALL THE DREAM BUBBLES,   
TAVROS: aND SORRY, fOR RAMBLING SO MUCH,  
GAMZEE: NO.  
GAMZEE: don’t get your apologizing noise on, tav bro. i’m just hurting to think that any version of me could leave you all by your mother fuckin lonesome.  
TAVROS: oH, i’M SURE IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT,  
TAVROS: tHE DREAM BUBBLES ARE CONFUSING, aND DIFFICULT TO NAVIGATE,  
TAVROS: tHEY SEEM TO HAVE A MIND OF THEIR OWN,  
GAMZEE: STILL, TAVROS. I KNOW IF THE MOTHER FUCKIN MATESPRIT VERSION OF ME YOU FELL FOR IS ANY WHERE NEAR THE PERSON I AM, THEN HE’S GOT TO BE GIVING TOOTH AND MOTHER FUCKIN NAIL TRYING TO FIND YOU.  
TAVROS: i DON’T DOUBT THAT,  
TAVROS: bUT UNTIL THEN, uH, cAN I HANG WITH YOU,  
GAMZEE: whoa, haha. do you even think you had to mother fuckin ask, mother fucker?  
GAMZEE: OF MOTHER FUCKIN COURSE I’D BE THRILLED AS A RENTABLE WRIGGLING DAY CLOWN PRETENDS TO BE tavros THE PROSPECT OF SPENDING ANY MOTHER FUCKIN AMOUNT OF TIME IN YOUR PRESENCE.  
TAVROS: hAHA, gOSH, i WAS HOPING THAT, yOU’D SAY SOMETHING OF THAT NATURE,  
TAVROS: iNCLUDING YOUR CIRCUS RELATED SIMILES, oF COURSE,  
GAMZEE: honk honk honk honk :o)  
TAVROS: i MISSED THAT, yOUR EXCITED STREAM OF HONKS,  
TAVROS: aLONG WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, tHAT YOU SAY, aND THAT YOU DO, aND THAT YOU ARE,  
GAMZEE: MAN, STOP THAT NOISE, BECAUSE I GO AND TURN MOTHER FUCKIN EGG PLANT LOOKING.  
TAVROS: bUT, wAS I CORRECT, iN ASSUMING, uM, tHAT YOU RETAIN FEELINGS FOR ME, fEELINGS OF A FLUSHED NATURE,  
GAMZEE: is there any version of me that don’t?  
TAVROS: i DON’T KNOW, sEEING AS I HAVE YET TO MEET ANY OTHERS, bUT I’M TAKING THAT AS A RHETORICAL QUESTION, tO WHICH THE ANSWER, iS A DEFINITIVE AND RESOUNDING NO,  
GAMZEE: YEAH, BROTHER!  
GAMZEE: that is exactly the correct mother fuckin answer.  
GAMZEE: :o)  
TAVROS: hAHAHA, eXCELLENT, i AM GLAD TO HEAR THAT,  
TAVROS: bECAUSE, iF IT WASN’T ALREADY OBVIOUS, i HAVE RETAINED FEELINGS FOR YOU, rOMANTIC FEELINGS,  
  
The world seems to slow down. Is it okay if you—? Would he mind—? Would he—? Oh, what the hell. You might as well try.

You put your arms around Tavros, and hunch forward.

Tavros meets you halfway, lips crashing into yours. It takes everything you have to not swoon against him. That would be a bad idea. He may topple over. And— oh hey, now he has a hand on your chest.

You swoon despite your reservations. Tavros takes on the task of holding up the majority of your weight. He is stronger than you thought he would be.

You are so, so very happy.

\--

==>Let’s give Gamzee his alone time

Alright, who to next?

==>Be Karkat

That’s a good idea. As Karkat, you have been trying to avoid talking to any annoying dancestor, and have wound up bumping into an unexpected old friend in the library.

That friend’s name is Jade Harley, and you are woefully unprepared for this conversation.

KARKAT: JADE?  
  
Jade glances up from the book she had been reading. Her pupils are completely white. Of fucking course they are, she’s dead. But it makes you wonder how she can read with no irises. What is she reading, by the way?

You glance to the novel in her hands quickly. It’s a comic, about some human superhero you’ve never heard of.

JADE: hey karkat!  
JADE: did you come here for some peace and quiet too  
KARKAT: HUH?  
KARKAT: OH YEAH, YEAH. NOT THAT I’M NOT HYPED OVER SEEING MY FRIENDS AGAIN, BUT THE TEENAGED ANCESTORS ARE A REAL PAIN IN THE ASS. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM IS A GRADE A DOUCHELORD.  
JADE: hehehe yeah they can be overwhelming  
JADE: i once mistook a kankri for you back when i first died  
KARKAT: HOLY HELL. I AM SO, SO FUCKING SORRY. I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M APOLOGIZING *FOR* THAT BUTTMUNCH’S EXISTENCE, BUT THEN AGAIN, I DID TECHNICALLY CREATE HIM AND ALL HIS PRETENTIOUS TAINTCHAFERS VIA ECTOBIOLOGY. SO YEAH, BIGGEST GODDAMN MISTAKE OF MY SHORT CLUSTERFUCK FILLED LIFE. I’M SORRY.  
JADE: well its not like you had a choice about it dimwit :P  
JADE: otherwise you would have broken the timeloop!  
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK EVEN HAPPENS IF YOU BREAK A TIMELOOP? IS IT LIKE, BOOM, INSTANT DOOMED TIMELINE?  
JADE: ummm yeah i think so but im not positive  
JADE: time was more daves thing all i know is that the alpha version of karkat was always meant to fulfil the timeloop so im not really sure if you can even consider that a choice  
JADE: is a choice still a choice if the only alternative is to be erased from existence?  
KARKAT: WHOA OKAY. I DO NOT REMEMBER YOU BEING THIS FUCKING CRYPTIC, HARLEY. HAVE YOU BEEN SPENDING WAY TOO MUCH TIME WITH DOOMED ROSE’S?  
JADE: hehehehe!! sorry :P  
JADE: i was trying to make you feel better about accidentally creating kankri but i guess i just made it worse  
KARKAT: YOU SURE AS FUCK DID.  
KARKAT: *ANYWAY*.  
KARKAT: DO YOU MIND IF I KEEP YOU COMPANY?  
JADE: not at all  
  
You sit down cross-legged by the fireplace, near Jade but not invading her personal space. She is leaning up against the sofa, the comic book open and lying casually against her chest. She catches you looking, and laughs.

JADE: oh cmon karkat! i know youre going through troll puberty or whatever but at least try to be discreet!   
KARKAT: WHAT??  
KARKAT: NO NO SHIT.  
KARKAT: I WAS LOOKING FOR THE TITLE OF THE COMIC, YOU PRESUMPTUOUS IGNORAMUS!  
KARKAT: GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE GODDMAN GUTTER.  
JADE: ok ok jeeeeeeeeeez  
JADE: sorry but i bump into doomed karkats a lot and they always wind up staring at my boobs or my butt or both and it was kind of flattering at first but it gets old real fast mister!  
KARKAT: FUCK, DO I REALLY?  
JADE: yeah really!!  
JADE: and then you make a lot of weirdly sexual verbal slip ups  
KARKAT: UGH, FUCKING FIST ME RIGHT UP THE NOOK. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M SUCH A FESTERING JERK IN SO MANY DOOMED TIMELINES!  
KARKAT: ACTUALLY, NO, IT’S PERFECTLY BELIEVABLE. WHAT WAS I EVEN FUCKING TALKING ABOUT? I’M THE MOST SOCIALLY IMCOMPETENT MOTHERFUCKER THAT EVER EXISTED IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE!  
JADE: jeez calm down karkat  
JADE: its not that big of a deal  
JADE: im sorry i even brought it up :(  
JADE: youre really not the worst person in the universe and i would know because ive gotten to know various versions of all of them  
KARKAT: YEAH? WELL, THANKS, I GUESS.  
KARKAT: I GUESS I END UP SPENDING MOST OF MY TIME BY MYSELF, SO IT’S ALL THE EASIER TO NOTICE EVERY LAST GODDAMN FLAW OF MINE.  
JADE: you do? what about your troll friends on the meteor?  
KARKAT: WELL, TEREZI IS ALWAYS OFF WITH DAVE, AND KANAYA IS ALWAYS OFF WITH ROSE. BUT I DO SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH GAMZEE. DID YOU EVER MEET HIM?  
JADE: oh yeah! we talked on pesterchum a few times but  
JADE: i dont think ive crossed paths with him in the dream bubbles yet :(  
KARKAT: YEAH, WELL HE’S MY MOIRAIL.  
KARKAT: AND IT’S NICE, OBVIOUSLY. HE’S NICE. I LOVE HIM A LOT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME, I KIND OF MISS HIM? BECAUSE HE’S GONE THROUGH SUCH A DRASTIC FUCKING CHANGE, IT’S LIKE HE’S NOT EVEN THE SAME PERSON.  
KARKAT: SO SPENDING TIME WITH HIM IS LIKE A DOUBLE EDGED KNIFE.  
  
It feels weird to hear yourself say that, but now that you’ve said it, you realize it’s true. Gamzee, your Gamzee, the goofy lovable clown, has been replaced. You still love him, obviously. How can you not? Even though Gamzee is radically different, there’s part of the old him that is still there. 

And, oh fuck. You just unloaded your alien romance problems onto a Jade you’ve barely talked to for ten minutes now. Wow, way to go, Karkat. You sure know how to make everything about you.

JADE: im sorry to hear that D:  
JADE: i wish i could think up something better to say in response to that  
JADE: it sounds like your trip on the meteor has been very lonely :(  
JADE: i know a thing or two about loneliness  
JADE: which is why its so great to be here in the dream bubbles where theres so many friends around that its hard to find time by myself!  
JADE: but i do know how you feel  
KARKAT: THANKS.  
KARKAT: I GUESS… THIS ISN’T HOW I THOUGHT THIS WOULD GO AT ALL. BACK WHEN THE METEOR FIRST TOOK OFF, I HAD IT IN MY PAN THAT, I DON’T KNOW, WE’D GET A BREAK, BECAUSE WE FUCKING *EARNED ONE*. AND WE WOULD ALL HANG OUT, AND PREPARE FOR THE SHITSTORM TOGETHER.  
KARKAT: INSTEAD WE ALL KIND OF…  
KARKAT: TOOK OFF TO SEPARATE CORNERS OF THE METEOR, AND SUNK INTO OUR OWN INDIVIDUAL PILES OF SELF PITY.  
JADE: im so sorry karkat :(  
KARKAT: AND NOW, EVEN WHEN GIVEN THE OPPROTUNITY TO SOCIALIZE, WHEN WE PASS THROUGH DREAM BUBBLES STUFFED TO THE FUCKING BRIM WITH FRIENDS I’VE MISSED SO DEARLY, I…  
KARKAT: I CAN’T MUSTER THE ENERGY TO TALK TO ANYONE.  
JADE: have you talked to gamzee about that?  
JADE: i think thats what moirails are for right? to talk to about your problems and work them out?  
KARKAT: I MEAN, THAT’S A PART OF IT, YEAH.  
KARKAT: BUT GAMZEE IS SO FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD, WE BASICALLY ONLY EVER TALK ABOUT HIM. HE HAS LIKE, THESE PANTSSHITTINGLY HORRIFYING NIGHT TERRORS, ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE, AND BEING SAWED IN HALF, AND SPENDING ETERNITY DRIFTING THROUGH THE VOID IN ENDLESS AGONY, PERPETUALLY SCREAMING.  
KARKAT: IT’S SO FUCKING MESSED UP, IT MAKES ME NAUSEATED TO LISTEN TO HIM HALF THE TIME.  
JADE: oh god D:  
JADE: that does sound horrifying :(  
JADE: tell gamzee that im sorry he has such awful nightmares  
KARKAT: I’LL PASS ALONG THE MESSAGE.  
  
Ah, well you just made the conversation even more macabre and depressing that it already was. Congratulations, Karkat, for being the universe’s biggest downer.

JADE: okay  
JADE: so it looks like you need a little picker upper  
KARKAT: HMMMM?  
JADE: look just hear me out  
JADE: i wasnt going to say anything because i dont know if we ghosts are supposed to be helping you guys out or not  
JADE: but i can tell you really need a boost to your morale and i know exactly how to make that happen!!  
KARKAT: DO YOU, NOW? WHY AM I GETTING A BAD FEELING?  
JADE: oh hush!!!  
JADE: its not bad at all  
JADE: look please dont freak out or anything when i say this but  
JADE: i know you have a thing for me  
KARKAT: UHHH  
JADE: a flushed thing as you trolls would say :P  
JADE: and i know this because numerous doomed karkats have hooked up romantically with other doomed jades and because when i was alive john told me you made a lot of sexual remarks about me to him which is kind of weird but you were thirteen at the time so i wont hold that against you  
KARKAT: WHAT? FUCK, NO, IT WASN’T LIKE THAT  
JADE: well whatever it was like  
JADE: you do like me right? like  
JADE: like like me?  
KARKAT: JESUS JADE, ARE WE WRIGGLERS AGAIN SUDDENLY?  
JADE: no so stop stalling and answer the question already dumbdumb!!! :P  
KARKAT: OKAY, OKAY!  
KARKAT: YES, ALRIGHT. I DO HAVE SOME LINGERING FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR YOU, IT’S TRUE. THERE, I’VE SAID IT! ARE YOU HAPPY?  
JADE: yeah i am!  
JADE: but not as happy as youre about to be!!!!  
KARKAT: WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?  
JADE: it means that im going to help you win my heart!  
JADE: i mean the heart of alive jade  
KARKAT: WHAT, FOR REAL??  
JADE: yes!!! who knows how to best romance me but me?  
JADE: ive spent enough time with other jades to know that you can make me very very happy  
JADE: which surprised me when i first died only because ummm  
JADE: well to put it bluntly i thought you were not my type  
JADE: though then again i dont know if i even have a type or what that type would be!!  
JADE: but from what other mes have said you can actually be super sweet and romantic and even a bit of a goofball which i was stunned to hear!  
JADE: and also that we have a lot in common interests wise although we dont know it yet  
JADE: because were basically strangers to each others interests until we begin spending time together and realize we enjoy those interests too  
JADE: and i think you will make alive me very happy  
  
What do you say to that? What do you think about it? Your mind is whirling, so it’s difficult to tell. Your heart, though… your heart is pounding. Warmth floods your cheeks.

Look at Jade. Look at her, you think. Her open expression, her soft smile, her silly front teeth and button nose, making her look a little like a bunny. Jade has the most brilliant green eyes, too, and you’ve never noticed them before. They’re nearly the same shade as the green moon back on Alternia. They sparkle neon bright, like the Green Sun.

You think, maybe, things are looking up for you. Now just to respond with a good romantic one-liner…

KARKAT: THERE’S NOTHING THAT I WANT MORE RIGHT NOW THAN TO MAKE YOU SO, SO FUCKING HAPPY, JADE.  
JADE: good!!  
JADE: then lets get started :D  
JADE: ok so first lesson  
JADE: at first im going to claim that stupid cliché lines like that dont work on me  
JADE: but they actually totally do  
JADE: so you should use them a lot ;)  
JADE: hehehehe   
KARKAT: YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND.  
JADE: omg! perfect yes just like that  
JADE: <3  
  
Jade makes a heart symbol with her hands, and you feel like you’re going to die. You’re that happy.

\--

==>Karkat: Switch to someone else we haven’t been before

It sounds like it’s the perfect time to be Nepeta!

You are now Nepeta, and you are on the prowl for Akwete Purrmusk! You are hoping that you can patch things up between Dave and Terezi. Meulin has been giving you tips on matchmaking, and you are determined to try them out.

Plus, you just can’t bear to see Terezi so miserable. She’s usually so cheerful! You miss her smile.

Dave is pretty easy to find, once you ask around. He’s holding up in the kitchen, listening to music and sipping on some apple juice. It looks like Akwete wasn’t the only one with a love of the stuff.

You tap on Dave’s shoulder to catch his attention, and wait politely for him to pause his music and pull his headphones down around his neck.

DAVE: hey uh  
DAVE: wait dont tell me  
DAVE: youre obviously cat themed which means you must be nepeta  
NEPETA: :33 < well spotted mister purrmusk!  
NEPETA: :33 < im glad to s33 that you still remempurr me  
DAVE: yeah well of course how could i forget my roleplay buddy so easily  
DAVE: even though that was like  
DAVE: wow  
DAVE: almost three years ago  
NEPETA: :33 < h33h33 yeah  
NEPETA: :33 < its so nice so s33 you in purrson!  
NEPETA: :33 < i guess you did not lie about how pawsitively handsome you are  
DAVE: damn girl are you flirting with me  
DAVE: not that i dont appreciate the interest but you should know that this strider is off the market  
DAVE: i mean  
DAVE: at least i think i am  
  
Excellent! The perfect opportunity to mettle has revealed itself! You pull back a chair and sit down in it backwards so you can look like you’re ready for business.

NEPETA: :33 < what is that supposed to mean?  
DAVE: ah its no biggie just some personal shit i have to work through nothing you need to concern yourself with  
NEPETA: :33 < are you pawsitive?  
NEPETA: :33 < beclaws i will have you know that i am a furry good listener  
NEPETA: :33 < and i purromise not to tell anyone else whatefur it is that you tell me  
DAVE: yeah well  
DAVE: nah like i said its not a big deal anyway  
NEPETA: :33 < hmmmmm  
DAVE: plus i dont want to like accidentally have you cheat on your moirail or whatever by telling you about my emotional problems  
NEPETA: :33 < h33h33h33  
NEPETA: :33 < well furtunately fur you thats not how it works  
NEPETA: :33 < meowrails are so much more than just somebody to tell your purroblems to and lots of trolls console each other all the time without thinking of it as infidelity  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: man troll romance is weird  
NEPETA: :33 < if you want i can explain it to you  
DAVE: no no  
DAVE: i dont need a rundown on quadrants ok karkat has already tried several times and its just not worth the effort it all goes in one ear and out the other  
  
Oh, this is going to be harder than you anticipated! Terezi did say that Dave was extremely cagey, but you thought he might be a little more open than this. 

Maybe you should try a different approach?

NEPETA: :33 < it might help you understand terezi better  
DAVE: whoa what  
DAVE: what did she tell you  
DAVE: did she send you to talk to me oh my fucking lord  
DAVE: im so sorry she enlisted you to play peacekeeper ok but this is between me and her and she shouldnt have gotten you involved in it  
NEPETA: :33 < no no thats not it at all  
NEPETA: :33 < you have it all wrong dave :((  
DAVE: what do you mean  
NEPETA: :33 < i mean terezi and i did talk about you some but she certainly didnt ask me to come speak with you!  
NEPETA: :33 < that was my idea  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: why  
NEPETA: :33 < well furstly beclaws it was so much fun talking to you befure and i wanted to talk to you again!  
NEPETA: :33 < and secondly beclaws i thought that it sounded like maybe you n33ded a friend to talk to  
NEPETA: :33 < someone who is kind of a third purrty to you and terezi  
DAVE: so wait  
DAVE: is this an auspisticism  
DAVE: is that the right word  
DAVE: are you trying to auspistize terezi and me  
NEPETA: :33 < oh well hmmm  
NEPETA: :33 < i suppose you could interpret it that way but that wasnt my intention  
NEPETA: :33 < i dont think you and terezi should be ashen anyway  
DAVE: oh ok  
DAVE: well  
DAVE: shit idk nepeta like youre sweet and i totally do appreciate your concern but  
DAVE: idk  
NEPETA: :33 < can i ask you a purrsonal question dave?  
DAVE: uhhh  
DAVE: i mean yeah you can but i cant guarantee that ill give you a straight answer  
NEPETA: :33 < do you want to patch things up with terezi?  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: yeah of course i just  
DAVE: i dont think its going to work out i mean shes a troll and going to want to date other people and i dont feel like i should chain her down to just one quadrant  
DAVE: im trying to be objective here  
DAVE: and i think it would probably be best for everyone involved if we went back to being friends  
NEPETA: :33 < why do you want to be objective about this?  
DAVE: huh  
NEPETA: :33 < i mean  
NEPETA: :33 < romance really isnt ever objective beclaws youre always going to be warring against the f33lings in your heart  
NEPETA: :33 < so maybe being objective isnt a good way to solve purroblems of a romantic nature  
DAVE: ok  
DAVE: i guess you have a point there  
DAVE: but whats the alternative  
DAVE: is this the part where youre going to tell me to listen to my heart like im supposed to know what that even means like  
DAVE: i dont know my chest is kind of tight and it hurts to think about breaking up with terezi but it also hurts to think about her dating gamzee so i mean my heart isnt really doing a whole lot for me to listen to  
NEPETA: :33 < well you said you wanted to patch things up with terezi so why dont we start there?  
DAVE: yeah but how  
DAVE: how am i supposed to know what to do when i dont even know how i feel  
NEPETA: :33 < have you and terezi ever set down guidelines fur your matespritship?  
DAVE: what no  
DAVE: why would you ask that  
NEPETA: :33 < beclaws!! its supurr impurrtant to set up rules so that efurryone knows what to do and what not to do! :((  
NEPETA: :33 < like you never told terezi you didnt want her dating anyone else right?  
DAVE: no  
DAVE: i guess i just  
DAVE: i guess i just assumed that she would realize that she wasnt supposed to do that  
DAVE: i mean she knows how uncomfortable i am with quadrants  
NEPETA: :33 < how can you know fur sure that she knows if you havent talked about that with her?  
DAVE: thats uh  
DAVE: ok thats a good point you got me there  
DAVE: fuck it sounds so obvious when you say it that way  
DAVE: umm but  
DAVE: ok but what if she tells me that she wants to date other people  
NEPETA: :33 < well then you have your answer  
NEPETA: :33 < relationships are about making sacrifices and compurrmises fur the one you love!  
NEPETA: :33 < if terezi isnt willing to agr33 to the terms of the matespritship then maybe its better to not be in a relationship with her at all  
NEPETA: :33 < but you nefur know unless you talk to her!  
DAVE: still  
DAVE: it sounds like such a jerk move to pull especially since like  
DAVE: shes so used to juggling romantic partners  
DAVE: i cant just be like  
DAVE: conform to my human form of romance or i wont date you anymore  
NEPETA: :33 < would you be ok with it if terezi had a meowrail?  
DAVE: uhhhh  
DAVE: ive honestly never considered it before  
DAVE: why  
DAVE: do you know someone who wants to be her moirail  
NEPETA: :33 < not in purrticular no  
NEPETA: :33 < and what about auspisticism  
NEPETA: :33 < would it bother you if terezi was in one of those?  
DAVE: jesus fuck  
DAVE: i honestly have no clue nepeta  
DAVE: like im sorry i cant be more helpful here but i feel like my head is about to explode  
NEPETA: :33 < i dont want to sound like a broken record buuuuuuut  
NEPETA: :33 < it sounds like you dont really know enough about what quadrants are to make that sort of decision  
DAVE: you just want to lecture me on quadrants  
DAVE: man tell me why you and karkat never dated  
NEPETA: :33 < uhhhhhhhhhh  
NEPETA: :33 < ummm well he didnt purrticularly like me like that i guess :((  
NEPETA: :33 < at least nefur in the alpha timeline  
NEPETA: :33 < which i guess was in purrt my fault beclaws i nefur had the courage to tell him how i felt!  
NEPETA: :33 < which sucks beclaws now i know that it did work out betw33n us in at least some timelines when i actually talked to him and we got to know each other better  
DAVE: oh shit  
DAVE: i didnt mean to touch on such a sensitive topic  
DAVE: sorry  
NEPETA: :33 < no no its ok!  
NEPETA: :33 < i guess this is purrtly why im so eager to help you  
NEPETA: :33 < ive learned that love is something that you have to put effurt into or otherwise it can all fall apurrt  
DAVE: uh wow  
DAVE: shit thats deep nepeta  
DAVE: ever thought of writing a book about relationships  
DAVE: id totally read that shit  
DAVE: or at least listen to the audiobook version because im a busy guy and dont always have the time to read yknow  
NEPETA: :33 < it sounds like youre stalling again :33  
DAVE: well fuck  
DAVE: have i become that transparent  
DAVE: ok ok no more stalling  
DAVE: quadrants  
DAVE: you wanted to teach me about quadrants  
NEPETA: :33 < yes!  
NEPETA: :33 < so you obviously already know about matespritship so i wont spend any time on that one  
NEPETA: :33 < moirallegiance is purrobably the one i know the most about because equius and i have a purrticularly successful one!  
NEPETA: :33 < though some people think that its purrfect or effurtless but its really not like that at all!  
NEPETA: :33 < the reason that equius and i work so well together is because we put the effurt into making sure the moirallegiance stays nice and strong  
NEPETA: :33 < but anyway  
NEPETA: :33 < on alternia we were taught that moirails were a means of k33ping trolls and in purrticular highbloods in check emotionally  
NEPETA: :33 < but on befurus they also have moirails even though its relatively peaceful and benign  
NEPETA: :33 < which helped me to rethink my opinion of moirallegiance!  
NEPETA: :33 < moirallegiance is like any relationship in that it happens when two trolls decide to commit themselves to that relationship  
NEPETA: :33 < pale romance is about an emotional commitment to another purrson  
NEPETA: :33 < to help take care of that other purrson when it comes to their physical and emotional wellbeing  
DAVE: ok i guess thats kind of easy to understand  
DAVE: can i ask though  
DAVE: what is different between having a moirail and having a best friend  
NEPETA: :33 < well you still have romantic f33lings fur your moirail you know  
NEPETA: :33 < a desire to hold them and kiss them and cuddle them  
DAVE: moirails kiss each other  
DAVE: whoa ok  
DAVE: you learn something new every day  
DAVE: so concupiscent love is more like a mix of sexual attraction and romantic attraction whereas  
DAVE: shit what was the other one called  
NEPETA: :33 < conciliatory love  
DAVE: right so conciliatory love is a mix of sensual and romantic attraction  
NEPETA: :33 < i guess you could say that  
NEPETA: :33 < sometimes its a mix of all thr33  
NEPETA: :33 < at times its hard to distinguish betw33n the various four romances and all you know is that youre crushing on them  
NEPETA: :33 < but as you spend more time with them you realize what kind of role you want to play in their life  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: honestly now this makes me feel worse about terezi having other quadrants even conciliatory ones  
DAVE: hahah fuck  
  
Weren’t you supposed to be helping them get back together? You can’t help but feel like you’ve made everything so much worse.

NEPETA: :33 < im sorry :((  
DAVE: no its not your fault nepeta  
DAVE: i guess im just realizing what a horrible fucking hypocrite i am  
NEPETA: :33 < hmm??  
NEPETA: :33 < im sorry i dont follow  
DAVE: ugh ok  
DAVE: so if i tell you something will you like  
DAVE: never mention it to anyone ever again  
DAVE: like not to yourself when youre alone not even to me because i will promptly force myself to forget that i ever admitted to this out loud  
NEPETA: :33 < ummmm sure i guess  
DAVE: i think part of the reason im so hesitant to get back with terezi is that  
DAVE: uh  
DAVE: wow i feel so damn dirty just thinking about saying this  
DAVE: i think lately ive been crushing on someone else  
NEPETA: :33 < whoa really?  
NEPETA: :33 < like… in a flushed way?  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: hence why im a hypocrite but  
DAVE: at least i knew better than to act on my feelings  
DAVE: like people in relationships still get crushes right like its not something that can always be helped  
NEPETA: :33 < yeah!! youre right it cant always be helped  
NEPETA: :33 < and thats not a reason to sabotage what you have with terezi  
NEPETA: :33 < not unless you think youd rather be with this other purrson?  
DAVE: no no  
DAVE: trust me ok terezi and i have had a great relationship these past two years and despite her sneaking around with gamzee i obviously still do love her a lot  
DAVE: and im not even sure if this is a real crush  
DAVE: or like some weird fascination  
DAVE: idk honestly it freaks me out to even think about these feelings being romantic  
NEPETA: :33 < why?  
DAVE: uhh it’s a human thing you wouldnt understand  
DAVE: anyway uh  
DAVE: i think i need to be alone  
DAVE: sorry nep im glad you tried to help and i do feel a little better just getting to talk this shit over with someone  
DAVE: but i have a lot on my mind and a lot to chew over  
  
You almost don’t register what Dave said to you at first. Your mind is still spinning over the idea of Dave’s secret new crush. Who could it be? What human thing was he talking about?

But then you shake that away. Dave told you not to talk about it, not even with him, so there’s no use prying any further.

NEPETA: :33 < okay  
NEPETA: :33 < ill purrobably be around fur another day or two if you want to talk some more  
DAVE: ill definitely take you up on that aight  
NEPETA: :33 < ok pawsome!  
DAVE: pleasure talking with you miss leijon  
NEPETA: :33 < the pleasure was all mine mister purrmusk :33


	6. Chapter 6

==>Get back to the main plot

You are Rose Lalonde once more. Behind you stand Kanaya, Aranea, and Meenah. Before you stands Meulin and Kurloz. It is time for you to get some straight answers.

ROSE: Good afternoon, Kurloz and Meulin. I don’t mean to be rude, but I am in a bit of a frazzled mood, so I’ll be direct. I have a lot of questions for Kurloz, and Meulin, I would like you to translate his answers for me. Please and thank you for your cooperation.   
MEULIN: (=・o・=) OH??  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) I WOULD LOVE TO, BUT  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) WHAT KIND OF QUESTIONS?  
ROSE: Mostly concerning Kurloz’s ancestor?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) THE DISENTER?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) WHAT WAS THAT PURRLOZ?  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) PURRLOZ WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU’RE ASKING.  
ROSE: Well, I’m hoping that it will help me understand Gamzee better. You see, I am auspistizing him and Terezi, and  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) MOG REALLY??  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) I NEFUR WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT! I HAVE TO UPDATE MY SHIPPING CHART IMMEDIATELY!!  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) THIS IS SO FURRY EXCITING. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU HUMANS WOULD TAKE TO OUR QUADRANT SYSTEM SO WELL! OH MAN THIS OPENS UP SO MANY WONDERFURL SHIP OPURRTUNITIES!!!! THANK YOU, ROSE!  
ROSE: Oh, uh. You’re welcome, I suppose.  
MEENAH: meulin were knot here to glub aboat your ships jesus glubbing christ  
MEENAH: fry to kelp your eye on the metaphorical ball here  
MEENAH: this is searious fishin business  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) OH NO. DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE HAVING RELATIONSHIP TROUBLES, ROSE?  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) THAT WOULD BE JUST PAWFUL.  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) MAYBE I COULD HELP?  
ROSE: You would do me a great service by letting me ask Kurloz my questions. I’m sure if I could learn more about Gamzee’s Beforan counterpart, I could understand him better.  
KURLOZ: **:o(**  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) PURRLOZ SAYS THAT HE IS CONFUSED ON WHAT YOU THINK THE CORRELATION IS!  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) HE SAYS THAT GAMZ33 AND THE DISENTER ARE FURRY YIFFERENT PEOPLE DUE TO THEIR FURRY YIFFERENT UPBRINGINGS.  
ROSE: But the Disenter had nightmares, correct?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) OH, PURRLOZ SAYS YES, YES HE DID.  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) HE SAYS THE DISENTER HAD A GREAT MANY NIGHT TERRORS THAT CAUSED HIM TO ABANDON THE FAITH.  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) IT IS A SUBJECT OF GREAT SHAME WITHIN THE COMMUNITY.  
ROSE: Ahh, I apologize. I wasn’t aware that this was a touchy topic for you, Kurloz. Nevertheless, I cannot let the subject drop. Gamzee has also been having nightmares lately, and from what I hear, the Disenter thought his dreams were prophesies.  
ROSE: Is there any chance that that was true?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) HMMMMM.  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) PURRLOZ SAYS HE DOES NOT BELIEVE SO.  
ARANEA: I’ve already told you, Rose, the Disenter’s supposed prophesies were naught 8ut ru88ish. Not one of his nightmares came true. He was just a delusional maniac.  
ROSE: I’m aware of your opinion on the matter, Aranea, but I have to be absolutely sure.  
ARANEA: I am a8solutely sure. High8loods rarely ever have any sort of psychic a8ilities, let alone the a8ility to see into the future.  
KANAYA: Still You Must Forgive Us For Being Extra Cautious  
ARANEA: Well, if you don’t want to take my word on it…  
ROSE: I cannot afford to take your word on it, Aranea. Kurloz, how did you come to that conclusion? What, exactly, did the Disenter think would happen?  
KURLOZ: **:o(**  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) HE SAYS THAT THE DISENTER FORETOLD THE END OF THE WORLD.  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) SPECIFICALLY THE CHURCH’S ROLE IN BRINGING ABOUT THE APOCALYPSE.   
ROSE: I see. I don’t suppose your church had any affiliation with sgrub, then?  
ROSE: Like with the game’s creation, specifically? We still know little of sburb’s origin. But if the church was privy to its creation and the role it would play in the end of Beforus, then that might explain why the Disenter held the church responsible for the impending Armageddon.   
KURLOZ: **> :o(**  
ROSE: Now that’s a dark look. I’m sorry, have I offended?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) PURRLOZ, WHAT IS IT?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) HMMM?  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) OHHHHH.  
MEULIN: (=xェx=) I’M FURRY SORRY ROSE BUT PURRLOZ IS DONE TALKING ABOUT THIS.   
KANAYA: What Why  
MEULIN: (=xェx=) THIS IS TREADING INTO BLASPHEMOUS TERRITORY. ARMAGEDDON WAS THE WILL OF THE MESSIAHS. NO MERE MORTAL COULD HAVE B33N BEHIND ITS CONSTRUCTION.  
MEULIN: (=xェx=) NOT TO MENTION THAT ROSE IS SUGGESTING THAT HIS RELIGION HAS BEEN APART OF SOME DARK CONSPIRACY! IT IS INCREDIBLY RUDE OF HER TO ACCUSE THE CHURCH OF SUCH NEFARIOUS D33DS.   
MEULIN: (=xェx=) YOU ARE ACTING JUST LIKE KURLOZ’S ANCESTOR!  
KANAYA: This Is Absurd   
KANAYA: It Sounds To Me Like Kurloz Is Hiding Something  
KURLOZ: **> :o(**  
ROSE: Now, now, Kanaya, that’s quite alright.  
ROSE: Kurloz, I apologize. If I promise to switch topics, will you be open to answering more questions? I promise, they will be of a less controversial nature.  
KURLOZ: **> :o?**  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) HMMMM.  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) OH! PURRLOZ ASKS WHAT ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW ABOUT!  
ROSE: I would like to know more about your religion, if I could.  
ROSE: How it differs from its twin on Alternia, for instance, and what the basic philosophy of it is.  
MEENAH: oh great now youve done it rose  
MEENAH: kurloz pikes to glub aboat his religion almost as much as aranea pikes to glub aboat everyfin else  
MEENAH: except knot nearly as endearin  
ARANEA: Awww.  
ROSE: Kurloz, please ignore them. I am curious. Theology has always been an interest of mine.  
KURLOZ: **:o|**  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) C’MON PURRLOZ, YOUR SERMONS ARE ALWAYS SO FURRY ENCHANTING! AND IT SOUNDS LIKE ROSE WOULD BE HAPPY TO HEAR ALL ABOUT THE CHURCH!  
KURLOZ: **:o)**  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) PAWSOME!  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) OKAY SO THE BEFORAN MIME CHURCH HAS ALWAYS B33N FAMOUS FOR ITS CELEBRATION OF MIRACLES AND THE DIVERSITY OF TROLL LIFE! ACCORDING TO THE ANCIENT TEXTS, THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS CREATED THE WORLD FOR ALL THEIR CREATIONS TO ENJOY.  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) IT IS THE JOB OF EACH CHILD OF THE MESSIAHS TO TAKE IN THE LESS FURTUNATE, AND TO CARE FOR THEM. TO TAKE THEM INTO THEIR HIVES AND MIMASTERIES, AND TO SHARE WITH THEM WITH THE WICKED ELIXAR AND OTHER PLEASURES OF BEFORUS.  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) FUR ONE DAY EFURRY TROLL WOULD DIE, AND THEIR SOULS WOULD ASCEND TO THE DARK CARNIVAL. THERE THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS WILL JUDGE THEM, AND BALANCE THEIR WICKEDNESS AGAINST THEIR FRIENDLINESS.   
MEULIN: (=UwU=) THOSE WHO HAVE BROUGHT JOY ONTO THE WORLD IN LIFE WOULD GO WITH THE MESSIAHS TO SHANGRI-LA, THE PARADISE PLANET, ONCE ARMAGEDDON STRUCK DOWN BEFORUS.  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) BUT THOSE WHO HAD REFUSED TO APPRECIATE THE MESSIAHS’ MIRACLES WOULD BE PUNISHED IN THE MEWST CRUEL AND UNUSUAL WAYS. AND WHEN ARMAGEDDON CAME, THEY WOULD BE LEFT BEHIND AT THE DARK CARNIVAL, NEVER TO ACHIEVE IMMORTALITY.  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) BUT THE MESSIAHS ARE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO ALLOW HERETICS TO COME WITH THEM TO THE PARADISE PLANET SHOULD THEY RENOUNCE THEIR UNRIGHTEOUS VIEWS.  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) ARMAGEDDON WOULD BE USHERED IN BY A GROUP OF FOUR ROWDY MINSTRELS PICKED BY THE MESSIAHS THEMSELVES.  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) THEIR JOYOUS MERRYMAKING WOULD OPEN THE GATEWAY TO THE PARADISE PLANET WHERE THERE WOULD BE MORE MIRACLES AND MIRTH THAN ANY UNIVERSE THAT HAS EXISTED BEFORE!  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) THE MIMES WHO LIVED AT THE MIMASTERIES WOULD SPEND THE DAYS UNTIL ARMAGEDDON IN SILENT DEVOTION AND THE NIGHTS IN CELEBRATION OF ALL OF BEFORUS’S VAST WONDERS.  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) IT IS SAD THAT THE RELIGION NEFUR REALLY SPREAD PAST THE CASTE OF THE PURPLEBLOODS.  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) THOUGH MANY CULLED TROLLS CONVERTED TO THE CHURCH ONCE THEY SAW HOW MIRTHFUL THE MIMES WERE LIVING EACH AND EFURRY DAY TO THE FULLEST.  
ROSE: I see. Thank you, Kurloz and Meulin. That was quite beautiful.   
KURLOZ: **:o)**  
ROSE: I can understand why the faith must be very appealing to you, Kurloz.   
ROSE: It seems as though it is not very different from Alternia’s version. Although the mimes are clowns, and I’m not aware of any silence rituals.  
KANAYA: You Are Forgetting Their Regular Slaughter Of Heretics And Mutants  
ROSE: Oh, yes. There was that difference, as well.  
ROSE: Though I suppose that was influenced by the culture’s view of the caste system. On Alternia, it was not just the religious who commonly killed off the outcasts of society, correct?  
KANAYA: That Is True  
KANAYA: Although I Suspect No Group Was More Well Known For Taking Such Pleasure Out Of It  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) SUCH AS NONE ON BEFORUS TOOK MORE JOY FROM CARING FOR THE N33DY.  
ROSE: I see. Well, when you are trying to live as virtuous a life as possible, a person’s actions may differ depending on what one considers to be virtuous.  
ROSE: On Earth, for example, some religious people found the enslavement of other human beings to be virtuous.  
KANAYA: How Frightful  
ROSE: It was worse than frightful, I’m afraid. But that is somewhat off topic.  
MEENAH: did you get what you need lalonde  
ROSE: I’m not entirely sure.   
ROSE: Kurloz, let me ask you another question. These dream bubbles… could this be the dark carnival your faith spoke of?  
KURLOZ: **:o)**  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) HE IS CERTAIN OF IT!  
ROSE: And Shangri-La…?  
ROSE: Could that be the planet that your session was meant to create via sgrub?  
ROSE: Or is it the planet that the new session will create?  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) I DON’T THINK SO. AND NEITHER DOES PURRLOZ.  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) PURRLOZ SAYS THAT THE PARADISE PLANET WILL BE CREATED BY NO MERE MORTALS, BUT BY THE GODS, ONCE THEY JOIN US HERE AT THE DARK CARNIVAL.  
ROSE: But are we not technically gods? I’m certainly not mortal any longer, anyway.  
KURLOZ: **> :o(**  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) GOD TIER IS A FALSE GODHOOD.  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) AND YOUR IMMORTALITY CONDITIONAL.  
MEULIN: (=・_・=) WHEN THE TRUE MESSIAH COMES TO DESTROY THE UNFAITHFUL, YOU WILL S33 WHAT TRUE POWER LOOKS LIKE.  
ROSE: Gosh, that got ominous quickly.   
ARANEA: Ugh, we tried to warn you, Rose. These two never change. It’s all miracles and mirth until you inevita8ly slip up and offend them. And then they turn all doom and gloom. It’s impossi8le to have a pleasant conversation with either of them. 8elieve me, I have tried.  
MEULIN: (=TェT=) THAT’S SUCH A PAWFUL THING TO SAY, ARANEA!  
ARANEA: And yet it’s true. You weren’t so 8ad 8efore you got into this whackjo8 religion, 8ut now it’s the only thing you talk a8out!  
ARANEA: Can we go now? I’m getting a headache!  
MEENAH: i agree with my gillfrond lets bounce  
ROSE: The two of you can leave, if you so choose. I do have more questions I need answered.  
MEENAH: oh cmon lalonde why dont you just ask your ashmate aboat what you need to know plain an shrimple instead of sneakin round behind his back  
ROSE: I’m afraid I’ve tried that, and it doesn’t help me. Gamzee is always contradicting himself.  
MEENAH: whale why not give him some time shell he might surprise you i doubt learnin aboat kurloz is gonna kelp you understand gam any more they are two different people  
ROSE: I don’t have time for that!  
ROSE: Ugh.  
MEENAH: water you glubbin aboat  
ARANEA: I am starting to get the sinking feeling that you haven’t 8een entirely truthful a8out your motives, Rose. Why is it so imperative that you puzzle Gamzee out?  
ROSE: Ugh, shit. I, I  
KANAYA: Because Our Session Is Doomed  
KANAYA: And Rose Has A Theory That Gamzee Has The Ability To Uh  
KANAYA: For Lack Of A Better Word  
KANAYA: Rose Thinks Gamzee May Be Able To Undoom A Doomed Timeline  
ARANEA: Gamzee certainly does not have any such power; I can tell you that right here and now. Although a 8ard is rumored to 8e an important factor of whether a session succeeds or fails, it does not mean that one could undo a doomed timeline.  
ARANEA: I am sorry to hear that you have 8een doomed, however. It must 8e difficult to cope with your impending deaths.  
MEENAH: way to twist the fork there aranea  
ROSE: Be that as it may…  
ROSE: It does not negate the fact that Gamzee has never died in any timeline.  
MEENAH: wait what  
ROSE: Have you ever seen a dead Gamzee in the dream bubbles?  
ROSE: And additionally Gamzee keeps having nightmares about killing all of us, which I happen to know is exactly how our timeline ends.   
ROSE: I don’t know if Gamzee is hiding something, or if he is unaware of his powers, but I do know that he has something to do with the various branching timelines, and how they work. He survives every timeline, and kills off everyone in nearly every doomed timeline he is a part of.   
ROSE: You cannot convince me that is a coincidence.  
MEENAH: whale shell  
MEENAH: sounds like your makora is efin more messed up than ours is  
MEENAH: no offense kurloz  
KURLOZ: **> :o(**  
ARANEA: Are you suggesting that Gamzee is… immortal?  
ROSE: It seems impossible, true. But the evidence is hard to refute. And his nightmares are clearly of a prophetic nature.  
ROSE: Oh, it is all so overwhelming.  


Kanaya puts a hand on your shoulder. She is glowing, and letting off a gentle, comforting warmth that you can feel through the thick fabric of your godtier outfit. 

You take in a deep breath.

ROSE: I don’t know what any of it means yet, but I know it has to mean something.  
ROSE: Kurloz, do you have any clue?  
KURLOZ: **:o(**  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) PURRLOZ SAYS THAT HE IS AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE, ROSE. AND HE APOLOGIZES FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO BE MORE HELPFUL.  
ROSE: No, no, that’s not your fault.   
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) HE ALSO SAYS THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T QUESTION THE MYSTERIOUS WAYS IN WHICH THE MESSIAHS WORK. IT IS OUT OF OUR COMPREHENSION.   
ROSE: Is it, now?  


Suddenly, the inkling of a theory begins to form in your head. Gamzee being immortal, mysterious, incomprehensible… 

Could it be that there was a grain of truth in Gamzee’s religion? When Gamzee had become earlier, had he not claimed to be the Messiahs? You had always assumed that it was a strange coping mechanism to deal with his faltering faith. That, in his altered state of mind, he had attempted to act as the gods who he felt deserted him. 

You still don’t believe that the Mirth Messiahs exist, but, still, it would explain Gamzee’s sudden immortality, omniscience, and urges to destroy heretics. 

If Gamzee was just playing out the part of his gods, he would not have obtained their powers. Did the Messiahs exist within Gamzee, using him as a vessel? It sounded like something out of one of your fantasy novels, but… It would explain Gamzee’s inability to control himself, as well as how he was always contradicting himself. Was he housing immortal beings, literal gods, in his body?

Kanaya pokes at your shoulder.

KANAYA: I Know That Expression Very Well Rose  
KANAYA: The Proverbial Gears In Your Brain Are Whirling At A Heightened Speed  
ROSE: Ah, of course.  
ROSE: Sorry to leave you hanging there. You are right. I am having some thoughts, but I am hesitant to voice them.  
KANAYA: And Why Is That My Dear  
ROSE: Because Kurloz may consider it blasphemous.  
KURLOZ: **> :o(**  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) PURRLOZ WANTS TO HEAR IT.  
ROSE: Alright, if you insist.   
ROSE: Kurloz, has there ever been anything said of how the Mirthful Messiahs would arrive in the dream bubbles?   
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) OH I KNOW THAT ONE!  
MEULIN: (=UwU=) THEY ARE ALREADY HERE! THEY’RE JUST BIDING THEIR TIME FUR NOW, UNTIL IT IS TIME TO MOVE TO SHANGRI-LA.  
ROSE: And where are they, physically?  
ROSE: Could they be… inside a living person? Would they take a living person as their vessel, for instance?  
KANAYA: Rose You Are Not Seriously Suggesting What It Is That I Believe You Are Suggesting Right  
ROSE: Kurloz? Meulin? Is that at all possible?  
MEULIN: (=°・°=) I’VE NEFUR HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT  
MEULIN: (=・x・=) WHAT IS THAT PURRLOZ?  
MEULIN: (=・o・=) H33H33, OKAY, I’LL TELL THEM THAT.  
MEENAH: shell us what  
MEENAH: man this whole debarnacle is givin me searious heebie jeebies  
MEULIN: (=・ω・=) PURRLOZ SAYS THAT YOU GUYS SHOULD START RECONSIDERING YOUR BELIEFS BEFUR IT’S TOO LATE.  
ROSE: I’m going to take that as a yes. Yes, it’s entirely possible that the Messiahs are using Gamzee as their vessel.  
KURLOZ: **:o)**  
  
\--

When you and Kanaya return to your block, she is visibly shaken up. She closes the door behind her, and leans back on it, a haunted expression on her face.

KANAYA: Rose  
KANAYA: You Do Not Honestly Believe That Nonsense Do You  
KANAYA: That Unless We Start Putting On Stage Paint And Acting Like Complete Assholes Impossibly Powerful Beings Will Slaughter Us All While Wearing Gamzee Like A Flesh Suit  
ROSE: I am not sure if such gods exist, or if worshipping them would even save us from their wrath.  
KANAYA: Surprisingly That Is Not Very Comforting Rose  
ROSE: But I can say that, if Gamzee is housing beings who consider themselves gods inside him…  
ROSE: Well, it makes more sense than any other theory, at the moment.  
KANAYA: That Is What Scares Me  
ROSE: I would not fret too much yet, Kanaya. There is much we still don’t know. For instance, why choose Gamzee?  
KANAYA: Well We Was Quite The Believer Once Upon A Time  
ROSE: Yes, but he has since turned his back on the whole thing. Perhaps they are punishing him for abandoning them?   
ROSE: And he was so gentle before. Did they not think his rapid change in character wouldn’t raise suspicion?  
KANAYA: Well Until Now It Really Did Not  
KANAYA: His Ancestor Was A Vile And Cruel Man Who Was Entirely Unpredictable  
KANAYA: And Gamzee Was Always On Sopor Slime Before The Game  
KANAYA: Making It Difficult To Gauge His True Nature  
KANAYA: Since None Of Us Understand What Effect Eating Sopor Has On A Troll  
ROSE: Hmm, I suppose that makes him the perfect target, then.   
KANAYA: Indeed It Does  
KANAYA: I Suppose I Feel A Tad Guilty For Speaking So Negatively Of Him Lately Even Though It Was Completely Justified  
ROSE: I wonder if an old fashioned exorcism would work on him?  
KANAYA: I Doubt It Could Be That Easy  
ROSE: Yes, good point.  
  
You walk over to Kanaya, and press up against her. She is now trapped between you and the door, but she does not seem to mind. She pets your hair lovingly.

ROSE: If there are godlike beings inside of Gamzee, we cannot let on that we know of their existence to him, in case it triggers their wrath.  
KANAYA: Are You Sure You Want To Continue Auspistizing Him  
ROSE: Yes, I’m positive.   
ROSE: More than ever, I believe my feelings for him are ashen. For him, and for Terezi. I need to help them.


	7. Chapter 7

==>Let’s check up on Terezi

It’s time to be Terezi again. You were just getting ready for your second ashen date! Human dating is one of those alien things that you’ve really come to appreciate, as silly as it is. Humans do find a lot of ways to celebrate mundane things, like wriggling days and spending time with loved ones.

You’re debating whether to put on your regular attire, or maybe try on that cute dragon print shirt Dave alchemized for you a couple of months ago. It was so deliciously red. 

It’s sheer coincidence that Dave knocks on your door at that moment. You can tell it’s him because he’s using the secret knock the two of you developed. You pull the dragon shirt over the top of your head quickly, even though he’s seen you in your bra before. It might be weird, considering the circumstances.

TEREZI: COM3 1NS1D3  
  
You call over towards the door, wanting him to come to you. You can’t help but hope he comes in crawling back to you, even though you don’t really deserve it.

The door squeaks softly as it’s opened, and Dave’s sweet strawberry aroma wafts in.

DAVE: thats what she said  
  
You snort loudly at that, and can’t help the grin that breaks across your face. If he’s joking, it means he’s in a good mood. You sit down on the edge of your bed, and wait.

Dave is soon standing in front of you. He smells about as nervous as you feel.

DAVE: ok so  
DAVE: i talked with your friend nepeta and i realized something  
TEREZI: HMMMMMMM  
TEREZI: 4ND WH4TS TH4T  
TEREZI: >:?  
DAVE: i realized that we dont have many serious conversations and we never talk about our relationship  
DAVE: i mean did we at any point even confirm that were dating like i think we both just assumed it didnt need to be said so we never said anything and even anytime rose asked i would avoid giving a straight answer like it was some kind of game  
DAVE: like admitting to it would make it too real idk  
DAVE: but i love you and you love me and we go on dates and share a block so i mean yeah  
DAVE: were in a flushed relationship and even though its kind of understood weve never actually talked about it and what that means for us  
  
You’re starting to get a weird feeling in your gut. What did Nepeta tell him? Is he breaking up with you? Is he trying to patch things up? You’re having a hard time figuring him out at the moment.

DAVE: tz stop making that face  
TEREZI: WH4T F4C3  
DAVE: that face you make when youre trying to use your mind thing  
DAVE: like i love the detective thing youve got going on you know i do but for right now can we just agree to be honest and upfront with each other  
TEREZI: UH  
TEREZI: OK4Y Y34H 1 WOULD L1K3 TH4T  
DAVE: awesome sauce  
TEREZI: 1F W3R3 B31NG HON3ST 1 DO H4V3 SOM3TH1NG TO S4Y  
TEREZI: BUT 1TS R34LLY H4RD FOR M3 TO S4Y SO COULD YOU L1K3 PROM1S3 NOT TO 1NT3RRUPT UNT1L 1M DON3  
DAVE: sure i think i can handle that  
TEREZI: OK4Y F1RST 1 WOULD L1K3 TO R31T3R4T3 TH4T 1 4M 1NCR3D1BLY SORRY  
TEREZI: 1 K3PT 4 HORR1BL3 S3CR3T FROM YOU  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 H4T3 P3OPL3 WHO M4K3 STUP1D 3XCUS3S FOR DUMB SH1T TH3YV3 DON3 WH1CH 1S WHY 1T P41NS M3 TH4T 1M STOOP1NG TH1S LOW R1GHT NOW  
TEREZI: 4ND 1M NOT 3V3N TRY1NG TO M4K3 3XCUS3S 1 JUST W4NT YOU TO UND3RST4ND WHY 1 D1D WH4T 1 D1D 1 GU3SS  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 TH3 V3RY L4ST TH1NG 1 3V3R W4NT3D TO DO W4S 3ND UP 1N 4 S3CR3T P1TCH R3L4T1ONSH1P W1TH G4MZ33 FUCK1NG M4K4R4 OF 4LL P3OPL3 L1K3 H3 1S SO NOT 3V3N MY TYP3  
TEREZI: 1TS NOT SOM3TH1NG 1 PL4NN3D 4ND UGH TH4T M4K3S M3 SOUND L1K3 1M M4K1NG 1T 1NTO TH1S 4CC1D3NT  
TEREZI: L1K3 1 JUST F3LL 1NTO H1S 4RMS  
TEREZI: WH3N 1N R34L1TY 1 COULD H4V3 PUT 4 STOP TO 1T 4T 4NY PO1NT 1N T1M3 1N TH3 L4ST SW33P BUT 1 D1DNT 4ND 1M 4FR41D 4BOUT WH4T TH4T S4YS 4BOUT M3  
TEREZI: OK4Y FUCK 1M NOT M4K1NG 4NY S3NS3  
TEREZI: OK4Y  
TEREZI: 1 GU3SS 1LL ST4RT FROM TH3 B3G1NN1NG  
TEREZI: D4V3 WH3N 1 K1LL3D VR1SK4  
TEREZI: TH3 R3GR3T 1 F3LT W4S 1NST4NT4N3OUS 4ND 1TS B33N H4UNT1NG M3 TO TH1S V3RY MOM3NT L1K3 UND3R 4LL TH3 BR4V4DO OF M3 B31NG TH3 H3RO 4ND M4K1NG TH3 TOUGH C4LL 1 DONT TH1NK 1 M4D3 TH3 R1GHT CHO1C3  
TEREZI: 4T TH3 MOM3NT 1T F3LT L1K3 TH3R3 W3R3 ONLY TWO OPT1ONS BUT NOW 1M H4V1NG 4 H4RD T1M3 R3M3MB3R1NG WH4T L34D M3 TO TH4T CONCLUS1ON  
TEREZI: SO 1 ST4RT3D TO R34L1Z3 TH4T 1 PROB4BLY COULD H4V3 FOUND 4 W4Y TO SP4R3 VR1SK4  
TEREZI: TH3 S4M3 W4Y TH4T K4RK4T FOUND 4 W4Y TO SP4R3 G4MZ33  
TEREZI: 1N F4CT 1 TH1NK TH4TS WHY 1 H4T3D G4MZ33 4S MUCH 4S 1 D1D  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 H3 GOT TO L1V3 BUT VR1SK4 D1D NOT  
TEREZI: WH1CH OF COURS3 1S MY F4ULT B3C4US3 1 W4S TH3 ON3 WHO K1LL3D VR1SK4 1N TH3 F1RST GODD4MN PL4C3  
TEREZI: 4ND WH3N 1 W3NT TO DO TH3 S4M3 TO G4MZ33  
TEREZI: TO K1LL H1M  
TEREZI: K4RK4T STOPP3D M3  
TEREZI: K4RK4T STOPP3D 4LL OF US FROM HURT1NG G4MZ33 B3C4US3 NO M4TT3R WH4T 3V1L G4MZ33 H4D COMM1TT3D K4RK4T ST1LL W4S D3T3RM1N3D TO SP4R3 H1M  
TEREZI: K4RK4T W4S G1V3N 4 CHO1C3 B3TW33N K1LL1NG G4MZ33 4ND L3TT1NG G4MZ33 K1LL 3V3RYON3  
TEREZI: 4ND K4RK4T FOUND 4 TH1RD OPT1ON WH3R3 4LL H1S FR13NDS L1V3D  
TEREZI: D4V3 1 C4NNOT B3G1N TO 3XPL41N TH3 D3PTH OF TH3 H4T3 1 F3LT FOR MYS3LF 4ND TH4T 1 CONT1NU3 TO F33L FOR MYS3LF FOR NOT B31NG 4BL3 TO F1ND 4 TH1RD OPT1ON WH3R3 VR1SK4 L1V3D  
TEREZI: K4RK4T TURN3D OUT TO B3 SM4RT3R TH4N M3  
TEREZI: FUCK1NG K4RK4T OF 4LL P3OPL3  
TEREZI: 1M TH3 S33R OF M1ND D4V3 TH4TS L1K3 4N 4M4LG4M4T1ON OF TH3 MOST 1NT3LL1G3NT CL4SS W1TH TH3 MOST 1NT3LL1G3NT 4SP3CT  
TEREZI: 1 F41L3D  
TEREZI: 1 F41L3D MY ROL3 1N SGRUB BUT MOR3 1MPORT4NTLY 1 F41L3D VR1SK4  
TEREZI: 4ND G4MZ33 W4S TH3 ON3 1 TOOK 4LL MY 4NG3R OUT ON  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 1S 4 CONST4NT R3M1ND3R OF MY F41LUR3 B3C4US3 WH1L3 VR1SK4 ROTS 4W4Y 1N TH4T FR1DG3 H3 G3TS TO W4LK 4ROUND 4ND 3NJOY 4 S1CKLY SW33T MO1R4LL3G14NC3 W1TH TH3 GUY H3S 4LW4YS B33N M4DLY 1N LOV3 W1TH  
TEREZI: 1TS L1K3 G4MZ33 W4S B31NG R3W4RD3D FOR H1S CR1M3S  
TEREZI: D4V3 1 PROM1S3 TH4T MY 1NT3NT1ONS TOW4RDS G4MZ33 W3R3 NOT ROM4NT1C 4T F1RST  
TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT3D G4MZ33 TO B3 PUN1SH3D  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D H1M TO SUFF3R TH3 CONS3QU3NC3S OF H1S 4CT1ONS  
TEREZI: BUT 1 4LSO W4NT3D TO PUN1SH MYS3LF  
TEREZI: WH3N 1T B3C4M3 ROM4NT1C 1 D1DNT H4V3 TH3 COUR4G3 TO 3ND 1T B3C4US3 P4RT OF M3 W4NT3D 1T TO BLOW UP 1N MY F4C3  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D YOU 4ND K4RK4T TO F1ND OUT 4ND H4T3 M3  
TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D 3V3RYON3 TO KNOW WH4T K1ND OF P3RSON 1 W4S  
TEREZI: 4 HYPOCR1T3  
TEREZI: 4 MORON  
TEREZI: SO 1 K3PT PUTT1NG TH3 BR34K UP OFF  
TEREZI: 1T W4S L1K3 TH1S B3T 1 H4D W4G3D 4G41NST MYS3LF  
TEREZI: S331NG 1F 1 COULD B3 4 B1G 3NOUGH P3RSON TO COM3 CL34N 4ND PROV3 1 ST1LL H4D 4 S3NS3 OF D3C3NCY L3FT OR 1F 1 WOULD CR4SH 4ND BURN  
TEREZI: 1 SHOULD H4V3 STOPP3D 1T  
TEREZI: 1 SHOULD H4V3 D1SCUSS3D 1T W1TH YOU  
TEREZI: 1 SHOULD H4V3 S4V3D VR1SK4 WH3N 1 W4S G1V3N TH3 CH4NC3 OV3R 4ND OV3R 4ND OV3R 4G41N  
TEREZI: TH3R3 4R3 SO M4NY TH1NGS 1 SHOULD H4V3 DON3  
TEREZI: BUT 1 D1DNT  
TEREZI: 4ND 1 4M SO SO SO V3RY SORRY D4V3  
TEREZI: ..........................  
TEREZI: OK4Y  
TEREZI: 1 TH1NK 1M DON3 T4LK1NG FOR NOW  
TEREZI: M4YB3 FOR3V3R  
TEREZI: LONG STORY SHORT 1 FUCK3D UP  
DAVE: wow  
DAVE: i mean yeah you kind of did  
DAVE: but i dont think its fair that all the blame falls on you since i never actually told you in explicit terms what i expected from you  
DAVE: ie not hate dating a psychomurder clown  
DAVE: plus like  
DAVE: im not stupid ok i knew there was something bothering you all these years and i suspected it had something to do with vriska but any time i thought about bringing it up i was afraid that it would be seen as me invading your personal space  
DAVE: i shouldnt have been so emotionally distant  
TEREZI: Y34H W3LL 1 W4SNT 3X4CTLY TH3 K1ND OF P3RSON TO OP3N UP 3MOT1ON4LLY 31TH3R SO 1 DONT BL4M3 YOU FOR NOT TRY1NG  
TEREZI: 1 DONT KNOW 1F 1 WOULD H4V3 B33N HON3ST 4NYW4Y 1 M1GHT H4V3 JUST BLOWN 1T OFF 4ND PR3T3ND3D TH4T 3V3RYTH1NG W4S OK4Y  
DAVE: then i should have pushed harder  
TEREZI: UGH M4YB3  
TEREZI: BUT HON3STLY YOU SHOULD STOP BL4M1NG YOURS3LF D4V3 1TS NOT L1K3 YOU W3R3 TH3 ON3 WHO SNUCK 4ROUND W1TH 4 MURD3R CLOWN B3H1ND TH3 OTH3RS B4CK 1M TH3 ONLY ON3 GU1LTY OF TH4T CR1M3  
TEREZI: WH1CH 1S WHY 1 HOP3 1T M4K3S YOU F33L B3TT3R TO KNOW TH4T 1M NOT 1N 4 K1SM3S1SS1TUD3 W1TH G4MZ33 4NY LONG3R  
DAVE: what seriously  
TEREZI: Y34H S3R1OUSLY  
DAVE: i mean obviously thats fantastic news because he probably would have killed you at some point  
DAVE: so im glad  
DAVE: good on you for breaking things off tz im proud of you  
TEREZI: OH UH  
TEREZI: W3LL 1 D1DNT BR34K UP W1TH H1M P3R S3  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: oh god did you flip quadrants with him or something  
DAVE: please dont tell me youre pale with him now  
TEREZI: WH4T NO  
TEREZI: D4V3 GOD YOU R34LLY DO KNOW NOTH1NG 4BOUT QU4DR4NTS  
TEREZI: L1K3 K4RK4T WOULD 3V3R 4CC3PT 4NYON3 3LS3 TO B3 G4MZ33S C4R3T4K3R 4NYW4Y  
TEREZI: G4MZ33 4ND 1 4R3 4SH3N NOW  
DAVE: ashen  
DAVE: wait with kanaya you mean is she auspistizing the two of you she is the auspistice queen  
TEREZI: H4H4 GOD NO  
TEREZI: K4N4Y4 H4T3S G4MZ33S GUTS  
DAVE: yeah isnt that what the quadrant is about  
DAVE: platonic hate  
TEREZI: SUR3 B3TW33N TH3 TWO 4USP1ST1Z33S 1TS 4BOUT H4T3 BUT TH3 4USP1ST1C3 H4S TO H4V3 4 D3S1R3 TO H3LP TH3M FOR 4 NON S3LF1SH R34SON  
TEREZI: 4K4 TH3 4USP1ST1C3 H4S TO F33L 4 M1X OF P4L3 4ND BL4CK  
TEREZI: P4L3 3NOUGH TO C4R3 BUT BL4CK 3NOUGH TO B3 TH3 B4D GUY 4ND SHOW TH31R 4USP1ST1Z33S SOM3 TOUGH LOV3  
TEREZI: 4ND TH3R3 1S NO P4RT OF K4N4Y4 WHO F33LS 4 SL1V3R OF P1TY OR LOV3 FOR G4MZ33 1 C4N T3LL YOU TH4T MUCH  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: wait if thats not kanaya who is it  
DAVE: karkat maybe  
DAVE: wait can a troll be both pale and ashen for someone at the same time  
TEREZI: NO OF COURS3 NOT TH4TS 4BSURD  
TEREZI: 4ND STOP 1NT3RPOS1NG YOU DOUCH3 YOUR3 N3V3R GO1NG TO GU3SS 1T  
TEREZI: B3C4US3 1TS ROS3  
TEREZI: ROS3 1S OUR 4USP1ST1C3  
DAVE: rose  
DAVE: like rose my sister rose  
DAVE: that rose  
TEREZI: Y3S TH4T ROS3  
DAVE: wow ok i guess that makes sense  
DAVE: getting involved in an alien threeway in which she gets to play the part of a romantically motivated couples therapist  
DAVE: its like one of her wet dreams  
TEREZI: WOW D4V3  
TEREZI: TH4T W4S R34LLY 1N4PPROPR14T3 4ND UNCOMFORT4BL3 TO H34R  
TEREZI: 4SH3N 1S NOT 4 S3XU4L QU4DR4NT YOU TH1CK SKULL3D 1D1OT 4ND M4K1NG SUCH COMM3NTS CONC3RN1NG 4SH3N ROM4NC3 1S H1GHLY OFF3NS1V3  
DAVE: haha yeah right  
DAVE: youre pulling my leg right  
TEREZI: H3H3 TOT4LLY  
TEREZI: 4LT3RN14N TROLLS OBV1OUSLY DONT G1V3 4 SH1T 4BOUT TH1NGS B31NG OFF3NS1V3  
TEREZI: YKNOW YOUV3 B3COM3 SO 4CCUSTOM3D TO MY BULLSH1T 1TS ST4RT1NG TO B3COM3 1MPOSS1BL3 TO PULL TH3 B44 B34STS WH1RLY FUR OV3R YOUR 3Y3S  
DAVE: hahahahahaha oh god youre totally right  
DAVE: damn we are one great couple boo  
TEREZI: W3LL DUH  
TEREZI: >:P  
TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY THOUGH 1M GL4D YOU ST1LL TH1NK SO  
TEREZI: BUT UM  
TEREZI: HOW DO YOU F33L 4BOUT ROS3 4USP1ST1Z1NG G4MZ33 4ND 1  
DAVE: honestly i havent the foggiest  
DAVE: like i am still totally clueless about troll romance as you can all too clearly see  
DAVE: im like some old grandfather trying to keep up with all the latest technology but no matter how many times my kids show me how to open up my email it never sticks to my soggy deteriorating brain  
DAVE: cant teach an old dog new tricks right  
DAVE: except i should probably keep trying because its an important part of your culture and like  
DAVE: youre important to me  
DAVE: so i should keep cramming and hoping that one day ill blossom into one of those cool eighty year olds who have their own instagram account and keep up with all the hip kid memes  
DAVE: i guess i just have one question  
TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T  
DAVE: do you kiss rose  
TEREZI: D4V3 OH MY LORD  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: is that an oh my lord yes or oh my lord no  
DAVE: have i offended your regal alternian sensitivities  
DAVE: are you bullshitting me again  
TEREZI: NO NO NOTH1NG L1K3 TH4T JUST  
TEREZI: D4V3 TH3 4USP1ST1C1SM JUST ST4RT3D UP ROS3 H4SNT 3V3N P4PP3D ON3 OF US Y3T  
DAVE: oh my god  
DAVE: babe are you flustered  
DAVE: your face is turquoise oh my god youve totally thought about my ectosister petting your cheek before  
DAVE: you want her to shoosh you  
TEREZI: D4V3 STOP  
DAVE: you do you want rose to shooshpap you and kiss you just admit it  
TEREZI: UGGGGGHHHHHHHH  
TEREZI: Y34H M4YB3 1 DO  
TEREZI: W1LL YOU SHUT YOUR TR4P 4BOUT 1T NOW  
DAVE: no way  
DAVE: youre crushing on my sister and honestly its kind of adorable how youre acting like a smitten schoolgirl  
DAVE: hoping the coolest guy in town asks you to prom  
DAVE: or in this case the coolest guy in towns twin sister but same difference right  
TEREZI: YOUR3 NOT UPS3T OR J34LOUS  
DAVE: what  
DAVE: oh shit youre right im not  
DAVE: idk like its still strange but its also nice to see you in that early nervous stage of a relationship again  
DAVE: even if its not with me  
DAVE: but like the two of us have been together so long that were on a whole other level of relationship  
DAVE: were like at the boss level totally comfortable pointing out each others boogers and having farting contests and learning new ways to strengthen our little two player team  
DAVE: except were not actually at the final level i dont think there is a final level just increasingly difficult stages with greater rewards and shit  
DAVE: but obviously each new stage is better than the puppy love first level  
TEREZI: Y3S TH4TS 4 W3LL 3ST4BL1SH3D F4CT OF TH3 UN1V3RS3  
TEREZI: SO D4V3  
DAVE: yeah boo  
TEREZI: DO3S TH1S M34N W3R3 D4T1NG 4G41N  
TEREZI: 1 M34N 1M L1K3 4LMOST POS1T1V3 TH4T 4LL TH1S R3L4T1ONSH1P T4LK M34NS TH4T TH4T BR13F P3R1OD OF US B31NG 4P4RT 1S OV3R BUT  
TEREZI: JUST FOR CL4R1F1C4T1ON S1NC3 W3R3 B31NG TR4NSP4R3NT W1TH 34CH OTH3R  
TEREZI: C4N YOU CONF1RM W3R3 ST1LL 4 COUPL3  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: yeah absolutely  
DAVE: i love you and im not giving up on what we have  
DAVE: but uh terezi  
DAVE: part of the reason i couldnt stay mad at you for long is because i kind of have a confession of my own  
DAVE: though admittedly its not as bad as developing another relationship behind your back i still feel hella guilty about it and feel like i should get it off my chest  
  
What is he talking about? You try to give Dave the benefit of the doubt. He’s a good guy, and you trust him. Even if his choice of wording is… worrying, to say the least.

TEREZI: OK GO  
DAVE: alright im just gonna come right out with it  
DAVE: no beating off the bush  
DAVE: wait  
TEREZI: OH MY GOD  
DAVE: did i just do a karkat freudian slip thing   
DAVE: is this what my life has become  
DAVE: this is it ive become a sexually frustrated asshole who cries over trashy romance novels because hes secretly afraid no one will ever touch his dick  
DAVE: time to throw out the shades and invest in some baggy sweatpants to hide my numerous inappropriate spontaneous erections  
DAVE: drown my loneliness in ice cream  
DAVE: at least the stretchy elastic waistband of my sweatpants will help when i gorge myself on sugary pastries made by my nonsexual life partner  
TEREZI: D4V3  
DAVE: huh  
TEREZI: D4V3 YOU PROM1S3D YOU W3R3NT GO1NG TO B34T OFF TH3 BUSH  
DAVE: shit right  
DAVE: ok speaking of karkat  
DAVE: ive been having some real non platonic feelings for him lately  
TEREZI: W41T L1K3  
TEREZI: FLUSH3D F33L1NGS  
DAVE: yeah  
DAVE: which is confusing as all fuck since im positive im strictly into girls  
DAVE: like ninety percent positive anyway  
TEREZI: D4V3 YOUR STR4NG3 HUM4N F3T1SH3S FOR L1M1T1NG YOURS3LF TO 4 S1NGUL4R G3ND3R M34N NOTH1NG TO M3  
DAVE: right shit ok  
DAVE: i guess its kind of stupid to get hung up on sexuality since humanity is all but gone at this point but  
DAVE: babe you dont understand on earth your sexuality was a huge part of your identity and if my previously assumed identity is wrong that means im not who i thought i was  
DAVE: and now i have to try to figure out what other parts of my identity were dictated by outside forces and not genuine to my truest self  
DAVE: if that statement even holds any meaning like maybe there is no true self just an amalgamation of enforced societal roles mixed with personal experience and genetics to the point where there is nothing to be gained of separating one from the other  
  
You stare at Dave for a moment. The stress radiating off of him is palatable, and highly unpleasant. You uncaptchalogue your mobile device and log into trollian.

DAVE: what are you doing  
TEREZI: M3SS4G1NG ROS3 4SK1NG 1F W3 C4N POSTPON3 TH3 4USP1ST1C1SM S3SS1ON 4 COUPL3 OF HOURS  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: sorry i kind of unloaded on you unexpectedly there  
TEREZI: 1TS 4LR1GHT D4V3  
TEREZI: 1N F4CT 1TS B3TT3R TH4N 4LR1GHT  
DAVE: it is  
TEREZI: D4V3 TH3 COMPL3X PROBL3M YOU 4R3 POND3R1NG 1S NOT V3RY D1FF3R3NT FROM TH3 TH1NGS 1V3 B33N TH1NK1NG 4BOUT  
TEREZI: 1 4M GOOD 4T TH1S STUFF D4V3  
TEREZI: 1V3 H4D SO MUCH T1M3 TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH1S STUFF  
TEREZI: NOT R3L4T3D TO S3XU4L1TY BUT MOR3 L1K3 MY ROL3 1N TH3 SCH3M3 OF TH1NGS 1N FOLLOW1NG TH3 ST3PS OF MY 4NC3STOR 4ND TH3 L1V3S 1V3 T4K3N 4ND 1F TH4T M4K3S M3 4 GOOD OR 4 B4D P3RSON  
DAVE: oh  
DAVE: well i mean that makes sense  
TEREZI: SO DO YOU W4NT TO T4LK 1T OV3R  
TEREZI: COMP4R3 THOUGHTS 4ND TH3OR13S 4ND SH1T W1TH M3  
DAVE: shit yeah  
DAVE: lets do this  
DAVE: lets swap existential angst  
  
Dave was right, you think. There’s no final level to a relationship, no moment where you’re done getting to know each other, no final obstacle before everything is forever cheery and peaceful. There’s just more progress, higher stakes, and greater rewards. 

You pat the blankets next to you. Dave sits down obediently, and you snuggle up under his arm. He grips you tight against him, and you know he’s missed you as much as you’ve missed him.

DAVE: ok but you never really responded yknow  
TEREZI: R3SPOND3D TO WH4T  
DAVE: the fact that im crushing on the shouty troll  
TEREZI: OH Y34H  
TEREZI: TH3R3 W4SNT MUCH TO R3SPOND TO  
DAVE: wait really like im pretty fucking sure theres a whole tomes worth of words to be said about it  
TEREZI: NOT R34LLY  
TEREZI: D4V3 3V3RYON3 CRUSH3S ON K4RK4T 4T SOM3 PO1NT OR 4NOTH3R H3S 4NNOY1NGLY 3ND34R1NG D3SP1T3 OR P3RH4PS B3C4US3 OF H1S TH1CK SK1NN3D 3XT3R1OR  
TEREZI: R34LLY TH3 ONLY R34CT1ON 1 H4V3 TO YOU CRUSH1NG ON K4RK4T 1S TH3 FOLLOW1NG WORD  
TEREZI: HOT  
DAVE: what  
TEREZI: YOU H34RD WH4T 1 S41D  
DAVE: oh yeah true hes red im red why did that never occur to me you probably daydream about us doing the horizontal tango when you cant sleep at night  
TEREZI: UM Y34H PR3TTY MUCH  
DAVE: ok well thats both relieving and vaguely creepy to hear but ill settle for relieved because im just glad you dont hate me for basically being a huge hypocrite  
TEREZI: >:]  
TEREZI: 1 COULD N3V3R H4T3 YOU D4V3  
TEREZI: NOW  
TEREZI: 4BOUT YOUR S3XU4L H4NGUP S1TU4T1ON  
DAVE: right lets probe the inner depths of my psyche  
TEREZI: Y3S L3TS  
DAVE: were doing this  
TEREZI: W3R3 M4K1NG TH1S H4PP3N  
TEREZI: >:]  
  
\--

==>Terezi: Switch to Gamzee’s POV

You cannot be Gamzee right now. You can, however, be Karkat, who is about to receive a visit from Gamzee.

==>Terezi: Be Karkat then

You are now Karkat, curled up in your recoupercoon. You recently put some lights up on the walls so you can just huddle in here with your blankets and pillows, and read. It’s super comfy, even if there’s no slime. But when you sleep pressed up against Gamzee, you don’t really need slime to keep the nightmares away. Just one perk from dating a purpleblood with chucklevoodoos, you guess.

Speaking of your moirail, where is he? You suspect that he’s out with Tavros. The two of them have been spending a lot of time together lately. But that’s fine. You know how much Tavros means to him, and it’s not like the two of you need to be attached at the hip all the time.

Besides, as nice it is to cuddle with Gamzee, it’s easier to read without his company. He likes to tangle all his limbs around you, as though he’s afraid that you’ll try to leave if he doesn’t hold you tight enough. And then on top of that, he always wants you to read your book out loud so he can follow along with the story. Which is nice most of the time, but sometimes the books you read aren’t meant for sharing with a conciliatory partner.

This particular book is more suspenseful than raunchy, though, and you have to pause between chapters to remind yourself that it’s all just a story.

It’s during one of your pauses that you hear the door open and close. You put the book aside.

KARKAT: GAMZEE, IS THAT YOU?  
GAMZEE: HONK  
  
Smiling, you stick your hand through the hole in the ‘coon to reveal your location.

KARKAT: I’M IN THE RECOUPERCOON. YOU SHOULD COME IN. THIS FUCKING BOOK I’M READING, I SWEAR. IT’S AMAZING.  
  
For a long minute, there is no response. You wonder what he’s doing, and stand up so you can poke your head out.

KARKAT: GAMZEE?  
  
He’s standing in the middle of the block, looking around as though he’s not quite sure where he is. For a moment, your heart leaps into your throat. He didn’t get into someone else’s sopor supply, did he? Oh god, you sure hope not.

But then Gamzee turns towards you. He’s smiling from ear to ear. It’s been a long time since you’ve seen a smile that big on his face. But his eyes aren’t focused on you.

GAMZEE: hey, mother fucker.  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, DON’T TELL ME YOU FUCKING STOLE SOME SLIME FROM KANAYA OR TEREZI’S COON? DID WE NOT BOTH AGREE THAT SHIT WAS TOXIC AND YOU WERE BETTER OFF WITHOUT IT?  
GAMZEE: I AIN’T EATEN NO MOTHER FUCKIN SLIME, BROTHER.  
KARKAT: YEAH, RIGHT. YOU LOOKED AS GODDAMN STONED AS A FAKE ASS FAIRY RIGHT NOW.  
GAMZEE: haha, nah. i’m just all blissed out on life’s miracles.  
KARKAT: YEAH, THAT REALLY DOESN’T HELP YOUR CASE.  
  
He’s starting to worry you a little. How much sopor did he consume? You’ve never seen him this out of it.

GAMZEE: I FIGURED OUT MY ACTUAL PURPOSE IN LIFE, BRO. IT’S BITCHTITS BEAUTIFUL, IT IS.  
KARKAT: DID YOU, NOW? OKAY, NOOKLICK, COME OVER HERE SO WE CAN WAIT OUT THIS HIGH TOGETHER. HAVE YOU EATEN ANYTHING LATELY? I HAVE SOME CHIPS IN HERE. YOU NEED SOMETHING TO HELP ABSORB ALL THOSE FUCKING SOPORIFICS IN YOUR PROTEIN SACK.  
GAMZEE: nah, i can’t be all staying too long.  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
GAMZEE: I JUST ALL STOPPED BY TO SAY SO MOTHER FUCKIN LONG, BEST FRIEND.  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, WHAT THE FUCKWHIFFING SHIT ARE YOU BLABBERING ON ABOUT? WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING, TRIPPING OFF YOUR ASS LIKE THAT? NO, YOU COME OVER HERE, GAMZEE.  
GAMZEE: i ain’t tripping off nothing but the wicked truth. i’ve spent all my time on this here meteor thinking my gods had all but mother fuckin abandoned my sorry ass.  
GAMZEE: BUT NOW I GOT MY KNOW ON.  
GAMZEE: my faith was just getting its test on. and now, i got to get going, and all fulfilling my fuckin destiny.  
KARKAT: PAPS NOW, DESTINY LATER, YOU SOGGY PANNED FOOL. C’MON, I PROMISE THERE WILL BE PLENTY OF TIME FOR YOU TO FULFIL YOUR DESTINY LATER, BIG GUY.  
GAMZEE: NO PAPS, KARKAT.  
GAMZEE: i ain’t in need of conciliation no more.  
GAMZEE: MY RAGE IS GONE.  
GAMZEE: honk  
KARKAT: YEAH, BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOUR THINK PAN CLOGGED WITH GREEN SLIME, YOU STUPID ASSWAD.   
GAMZEE: HOW MANY TIMES I GOT TO SAY IT, BROTHER?  
GAMZEE: i cross my blood pump, there ain’t a lick of sopor in these veins of mine. nothing but peace settling down under my mother fuckin skin.  
GAMZEE: I SAW A MOTHER FUCKIN PROPHETESS IN MY DREAMS. IT GOT ALL SORTED OUT, ALL MY ANGER, ALL MY DOUBT.  
GAMZEE: there’s nothing left for me to feel all mother fuckin sore over. i see clearly on what i am needing to do. and it’s all so bitchin beautiful.  
GAMZEE: BUT I CAN’T STAY HERE.  
KARKAT: WHAT?  
  
Your mouth tastes like bile. It’s hard to put your finger on it, but something is wrong here. 

Climbing out of the recoupercoon is always a bit of a chore, but you hurdle yourself out so you can go over to Gamzee. But when you reach out to touch him, Gamzee steps back.

It shocks you so much that you freeze. Gamzee has never moved away from your touch before.

KARKAT: GAMZEE?  
GAMZEE: i can’t be tied down by no attachments no more, karkat. if i’m gonna be helping on out with my mother fuckin role in the whole scheme of things, i need to be putting everything i am into it.  
GAMZEE: I’M TAKING A VOW OF SILENCE, BROTHER.  
GAMZEE: and living a life of solitude, so i may be ready for my pilgrimage without any burdens all holding me back.  
KARKAT: BURDENS?? WHAT THE SHIT, GAMZEE.  
GAMZEE: WHAT I’M SAYING IS THIS  
GAMZEE: you kept my rage all in check for this time, mother fucker, and i’m real grateful to you for that.  
GAMZEE: BUT NOW  
GAMZEE: i don’t need you no more.   
GAMZEE: SO IT’S BEING ABOUT TIME WE SPLIT UP.  
GAMZEE: :o)  
  
Your lungs burn, and you realize you stopped breathing at some point. This… this is impossible. Even on sopor, Gamzee was never so apathetic and cold.

This doesn’t seem like the actions of Gamzee on sopor. This doesn’t seem like the actions of Gamzee off of sopor. You have no idea who this guy is, but he’s not your Gamzee. Even through all the drastic changes, through the nightmares and the delusions and the murder, Gamzee was devoted to you. He loved you.

You were so sure of that.

You thought you knew Gamzee. Even if he was drastically different than before his homicidal period, you thought there was enough about him that was familiar. Deep down, you thought he was still the same guy.

Maybe you never really knew Gamzee at all. Maybe he never genuinely cared for you. Maybe you were just a means to an end.

No, fuck. You can’t think like that. 

You force yourself to rake back through your memories of the past sweep. The time you accidentally gave yourself food poisoning, and he held you the whole night long. The time you told him you loved him for the first time, and he made you repeat yourself five times because he couldn’t believe anyone would feel that way about him. Every time he made pastries in the shapes of diamonds, and presented them to you in a basket full of pale pink cotton. The way he’d take pictures of the two of you together, and write “moirails together forever” over them. That time he accidentally clawed you during a cuddle session, and he freaked out and wouldn’t stop apologizing until you threatened to sew his mouth shut.

It couldn’t have all been an act. Gamzee didn’t have the skill to pull off something like that.

But he’s still smiling, looking through you.

KARKAT: YOU’RE… BREAKING UP WITH ME?  
GAMZEE: no harsh feelings, karkat. it’s done serving its purpose, and now it’s time to be moving the mother fuck on to better things.  
  
Now you get it. This is a nightmare. You fell asleep reading your book, and Gamzee isn’t around to keep the night terrors away.

You pinch your arm, hard. Ow, fuck.

It didn’t work.

KARKAT: IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE? GAMZEE, WHAT THE HELL. WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT?  
GAMZEE: LIKE WHAT?  
KARKAT: LIKE OUR MOIRALLEGIANCE NEVER MEANT A DAMN FUCKING THING TO YOU, YOU BRAINLESS WRETCHED BILESACK!  
KARKAT: ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?  
KARKAT: ARE YOU *SERIOUSLY* TELLING ME THAT YOU NEVER HELD ANY GENUINE FEELINGS FOR ME? BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, ASSLICK, I DON’T BELIEVE THAT FOR A GODDAMN SECOND!  
  
You’re lying to yourself. You’ve considered that all the time during the course of your moirallegiance. There were so many times when you’d catch him deep in thought. That hyper-concentrated look in his eyes would give you nightmares. There was something in that expression. Almost as though Gamzee didn’t have a soul. But you can’t reveal that to Gamzee. Not now.

KARKAT: YOU CAN’T FAKE FEELINGS FOR A WHOLE BITCHSHITTING SWEEP. I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.  
GAMZEE: i got all my devotion aimed towards you when i thought my gods were abandoning me, sure, but now i’m saving my love for the mother fuckin messiahs.  
GAMZEE: AND WE BOTH KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON WE EVEN GOT TO BEING A THING IN THE FIRST FUCKIN PLACE WAS TO KEEP YOUR FRIENDS SAFE FROM ME.  
GAMZEE: that ain’t no mother fuckin thing to base a lifelong relationship off of, though, is it?  
GAMZEE: IN THE END  
GAMZEE: the messiahs are the only people that matter.  
KARKAT: OH MY GOD, STOP.  
KARKAT: YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID TRULY LOVE YOU, GAMZEE, BUT THAT SHITSPEWING RELIGIOUS PRATTLE YOU WERE ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT? GOD, IT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING. THERE WERE SO MANY TIMES THAT I WANTED TO CLAW MY THINK SPONGE OUT, JUST SO I DIDN’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ONE MORE WORD ABOUT YOUR FAKE BELIEFS.  
KARKAT: YOUR MESSIAHS ARE FAKE, GAMZEE.  
KARKAT: I THOUGHT YOU FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT. I THOUGHT YOU FINALLY LET THAT CHILDISH FANTASY GO.  
KARKAT: GOD, YOU ARE SUCH A BLITHERING WRIGGLER.  
  
It’s getting a little hard to keep flinging insults at Gamzee. Your throat is closing up, and your eyes sting from holding back tears. Like fuck you’re letting him see you cry now.

KARKAT: AND FUCK YOU.  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU FOR DARING TO SAY THAT I ONLY ENTERED THIS PALESHIP WITH YOU TO KEEP EVERYONE SAFE FROM YOU. I COULD HAVE KILLED YOU, GAMZEE.  
KARKAT: I COULD HAVE WIPED THE FLOOR WITH YOUR SORRY MURDER HAPPY ASS, BUT I DIDN’T.  
KARKAT: NOT TO KEEP ANYONE SAFE, BUT TO SAVE YOU.  
KARKAT: I TOOK A RISK THAT PUT EVERY FUCKING BODYS LIFE IN DANGER. I DECIDED TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE, ENDANGERING TEREZI, SOLLUX, AND KANAYA IN THE PROCESS. I DID THAT, BECAUSE I WAS FUCKING *IN LOVE* WITH YOU, AND IT TOOK ME POTENTIALLY LOSING YOU FOREVER TO REALIZE THAT.  
KARKAT: SO YEAH, I’M REAL MOTHERFUCKING SORRY. I’M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO REALIZE HOW I FELT.  
KARKAT: BUT DON’T YOU DARE SAY I DIDN’T LOVE YOU.  
KARKAT: I LOVED YOU TOO GODDAMN MUCH. I LOVED YOU, WHEN I SHOULD HAVE PUT YOUR STUPID CLOWN ASS EIGHT FEET UNDER.  
KARKAT: FINE.  
KARKAT: LEAVE IF THAT’S WHAT TICKLES YOUR FANCY. JUST DON’T COME CRAWLING BACK WHEN YOU SOBER THE FUCK UP.  
KARKAT: I’M DONE GIVING YOU SECOND CHANCES.  
KARKAT: I’M DONE GIVING A SHIT ABOUT YOU.  
  
Your words appear to have no effect on him. His expression has not changed in the least. It’s as though it’s permanently stuck in the most stupid expression in all of paradox space.

GAMZEE: DON’T ALL FRET, KARKAT.  
GAMZEE: i ain’t mother fuckin coming back.  
  
Gamzee leaves then. He doesn’t flashstep away or anything. No, Gamzee takes his time, walking with an obnoxious skip in his step. He gives you one last smile before closing the door shut, slow and polite, behind him.

It’s only then that you fall down to your knees, and the tears break free.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a little shorter than the others, but it's an important shift into the second part of the story. There are 8 more chapters after this one. With any luck, I will finish them and have my first completed multi-chapter fic. (Knock on wood.)
> 
> All comments/encouragements really help me keep writing!

DAY 8: DECEMBER 12

It is officially one week from Aradia’s first visit, and three days since anyone has seen or heard from Gamzee. Messaging him on pesterchum is as useless as shooting an arrow in the dark. 

I’m beginning to feel as though I have done nothing but move up our execution date. There is no telling what Gamzee might do to us, if he’s away from Karkat’s pacification for too long. Or should I say, there’s no telling whatever the malevolent beings inside Gamzee will do without Karkat to keep them in check.

Aradia will likely visit today. I wish that I had some good news for her. 

Later, I should check up on Karkat again. Terezi tells me that he smells as though he has been avoiding baths. Perhaps I will bring over some ice cream for him. Or would that remind him of Gamzee too much?

-Rose Lalonde  
  
\--

Aradia does visit you, around noon. You are sitting in your room with Kanaya. You wanted her to be there with you when you talked to Aradia again, since she already knew about the doomed timeline. 

She appears without warning, the way she did last week.

ARADIA: hi rose!! hi kanaya!!!  
ROSE: Oh, there you are. I hope you don’t mind that I brought Kanaya along. My apologies, but I found that I couldn’t keep her in the dark for long. But she isn’t going to tell anyone else.  
ARADIA: thats fine   
ARADIA: i figured that would be a possibility  
ARADIA: besides i know kanaya can keep a secret  
ROSE: Good. Anyway, I was beginning to worry that you wouldn’t make it back in time.  
ARADIA: in time for what?  
ROSE: I don’t want to be melodramatic, but it’s a possibility that we may all die soon.  
ARADIA: oh?  
ROSE: I’ve lost Gamzee, you see.  
ARADIA: oh!!  
ARADIA: well thats certainly not a good sign  
ARADIA: did gamzee by any chance also break things off with karkat?  
KANAYA: He Did  
KANAYA: Is That A Common Theme In Doomed Timelines  
ARADIA: it doesnt happen in that many but it is certainly an unfortunate course that some timelines take  
ARADIA: but before i explain that  
ARADIA: i think i better explain something else first  
ARADIA: because ive learned a whole lot since we last met and its about time to catch you up to speed!  
  
Aradia does not look nearly as devastated as you do about Gamzee being missing, so you allow yourself to let out a slow breath. If she isn’t stressing out, then perhaps your fate isn’t sealed.

She walks up to your desk and uncaptchalogues a pile of books onto it: one which is a large tome, and the others are good sized novels. The title of the one on top catches your eye, and you don’t believe it for a second. But then…

ROSE: Complacency of the Learned? That’s… my…  
ARADIA: its a novel that was penned by your post-scratch counterpart in the new session  
ROSE: What?  
ROSE: How…  
ROSE: Are you telling me an alternate version of myself, who grew up in a different time and place, came to write and publish a novel with the same title as a story I myself was writing as a young teenager?  
ROSE: I know that she is me, but still. It seems like an improbable coincidence.  
ARADIA: improbable but not impossible  
ARADIA: and you must also realize that unconscious memories may leak between sessions   
ARADIA: especially for seers  
ARADIA: as the signless on alternia slowly began to recall memories of being kankri on beforus  
ROSE: I see, I suppose that makes sense.  
ARADIA: in any case i would implore you to read it and its five sequels  
ROSE: Really? Why so?  
ROSE: Is it so that I can remember to write them in the post-scratch version in the first place? Are you fulfilling a time loop here, Aradia?  
ARADIA: not really  
ARADIA: although now that you mention it that could be an unforeseen consequence of having you read them  
ARADIA: but it was you who told me to bring this back for you to read  
ROSE: What!  
ROSE: You met my post-scratch self?  
ARADIA: oh no no  
ARADIA: sorry that was kind of confusing  
ARADIA: let me start at the beginning  
  
Complacency of the Learned is pushed aside for the moment, and Aradia opens up the larger tome. You can see what appears to be a sketch of a tree branch inside, with a variety of notes scrawled in various colors.

ARADIA: shortly after i left talking with you the first time we met i was greeted by another version of myself  
ARADIA: she told me that just dooming one timeline would not be enough to understand the entirety of the conspiracy thats afoot  
ROSE: Conspiracy?  
ARADIA: that was her word not mine  
ARADIA: but now i realize that she was right  
ARADIA: in following her advice i went back in time and created more branching doomed timelines and recruited the help of other roses to assist me in monitoring gamzee  
KANAYA: You Did  
KANAYA: That Seems To Be An Irresponsible Use Of Your Powers  
ARADIA: perhaps but i dont see it that way  
ARADIA: remember that we only won our session by creating an army of aradiabots to help us in the final battle  
ARADIA: this is a similar situation  
ARADIA: in which i am manipulating events so that we can have an army of roses  
ROSE: I think I see where this is going. Did you perhaps give each Rose a different instruction?  
ARADIA: that i did  
ARADIA: i advised you to auspistize gamzee and terezi but other roses were given alternative advice on how to best spy on him knowing that you would all gain different bits and pieces of trivia  
ARADIA: with this book i have been tracking various roses on their quests  
ARADIA: there was one rose in this timeline  
ARADIA: i assigned her the codename blue rose  
ARADIA: blue rose was given the task of spying on gamzee in more traditional terms  
ARADIA: following him around you see  
ARADIA: in doing so she witnessed something fascinating  
ARADIA: apparently gamzee can use his chucklevoodoo powers in order to navigate the dream bubbles via tunnels  
ROSE: What.  
KANAYA: That Is  
KANAYA: Is That Where Gamzee Disappeared To  
KANAYA: Into The Dream Bubbles  
ARADIA: that is exactly where i would assume he has gone  
ARADIA: unfortunately gamzee discovered blue rose snooping around the tunnels and she never got to see where they led  
ROSE: I can’t imagine that went well. I doubt that version of Gamzee would continue to trust her.  
ARADIA: it was worse than that  
ARADIA: gamzee killed her and then everyone else on the meteor  
KANAYA: Oh God  
ARADIA: it was terrible  
ARADIA: i have doomed many roses and im afraid to say that almost a third of them have triggered whatever it is that causes gamzee to turn violent  
KANAYA: Speaking Of That  
KANAYA: I Think We Should Mention  
KANAYA: We Gathered Some Intel And   
KANAYA: Gamzee May Be Housing Beings Inside Of Him  
KANAYA: Beings Who Consider Themselves As Gods  
ROSE: Yes, exactly. We are contemplating the fact that perhaps they are dormant, or have become dormant under Karkat’s conciliation, but their wrath may be triggered whenever someone or something interferes with their ultimate plan.  
ARADIA: gods you say  
ARADIA: like the horrorterrors?  
ROSE: I suppose so. Are you suggesting a couple of them possessed him as they did me when I went grimdark?  
ROSE: I… never considered that, actually, but it would make sense. Though I don’t remember ever feeling the desire to hurt any of my friends, the similarities are too strong to dismiss outright.  
ARADIA: it is too soon to tell but i think you are on the right track  
ARADIA: other roses have come to similar conclusions involving the source of gamzees rage but whatever its source one thing is certain  
ARADIA: simply dooming a timeline through a simple change is not enough to trigger gamzees wrath  
ARADIA: for instance  
ARADIA: when i broke your alcohol bottles rose i created a split in the timelines  
ARADIA: my intention was to doom you so that i could have you gather intelligence on the nature of doomed timelines for me  
ARADIA: but gamzee has yet to turn violent  
ARADIA: this has led me to the conclusion that doomed and alpha timelines are not so clearly cut as i first anticipated  
ARADIA: if what you say is true and some omniscient deities are lurking inside gamzees mind then they should have noticed the change much earlier  
ARADIA: perhaps it is that your sobriety is not an important enough factor to doom a timeline  
ROSE: What are you saying?  
KANAYA: Yes This Is All Very Confusing  
KANAYA: Are You Saying That Fate Is Less A Series Of Predetermined Actions Where That All Slight Deviations Create Alternate Realities Doomed To End In Tragedy And More That The Alpha Timeline Is  
KANAYA: Well For A Lack Of A Better Simile  
KANAYA: A Buffet Of Acceptable Options  
ARADIA: yes that is correct  
ROSE: You mean… it was not necessary for me to become inebriated for the timeline to remain the alpha? That’s why Gamzee didn’t react to the change?  
ARADIA: it is just a theory at the moment but i am beginning to question everything i know about how the timelines work  
ARADIA: as well as why it is so important for gamzee to kill everyone off in doomed timelines  
KANAYA: Perhaps He Or The Gods That Hypothetically Reside Within Are Ensuring That The People In Doomed Timelines Cannot Interfere With The Alpha Timeline  
ARADIA: thats an interesting possibility but it has its flaws  
ROSE: Yes, true. If a doomed person who was not meant to interfere with the alpha timeline did interfere, would it not just create another doomed branch?  
KANAYA: Ah I See  
KANAYA: Gosh I Am Glad I Did Not Have To Deal With The Aspect Of Time  
ARADIA: it is all very complicated yes  
ARADIA: but let us put that particular train of thought aside for the moment though because i have still yet to reveal how i came across this book in the first place  
ROSE: Oh right, my apologies.  
ARADIA: not a problem!  
ARADIA: so i took my knowledge from blue rose about the dream bubble tunnels and relayed it to green rose  
ARADIA: green rose was given the objective of becoming gamzees friend through no romantic involvement  
ARADIA: she had been able to gain quite a bit of trust from gamzee so i believed she would have an easier time following gamzee into the tunnels and seeing where they led  
ARADIA: her mission was a success  
ARADIA: it turns out that with these tunnels gamzee can not only control which dream bubbles hes in but also visit other timelines and even pop forward into the session of your genetic descendants!!  
ARADIA: 0u0  
ROSE: What? Are you sure?  
ARADIA: well he also has some help via time traveling devices  
ARADIA: but yes i am sure  
ARADIA: green rose managed to sneak into the tunnels and got to visit the child version of your guardian in the dream bubbles  
ROSE: That does sound exactly like what I would do first if given the opportunity.   
ARADIA: this is where green rose obtained a copy of complacency of the learned and she later gave it to me after reading it over  
ARADIA: she told me to bring it to you  
ARADIA: the first rose i doomed  
ROSE: Me? Why?  
ARADIA: unfortunately while green rose had managed to figure out how to use the tunnels they disappeared behind her once she exited and she was unable to reopen them  
ARADIA: she was already beginning to disappear when i found her clutching the books to her  
ARADIA: she told me you needed to read these  
ROSE: Oh.  
KANAYA: This Is Terrible  
KANAYA: Hearing About All The Roses Who Never Make It  
ROSE: But their sacrifices were worth it in the end, I think. They would be proud to know that their deaths helped lead all of us closer to the truth.  
ROSE: As cliché as that sounds, I know how they must have felt.  
ROSE: All we can do now is honor their martyrdom and continue clawing this game apart until we have the truth.  
  
You glance at the book Complacency of the Learned again. The idea of reading it makes you a tad uneasy. How identical will it be to the books you wrote in your youth? What secrets lie within them, and how do they relate to the game? It is all so very befuddling. But if you can trust no one else, you can trust yourself. Green Rose wanted you to read it, so read it you will. Along with the five sequels.

ARADIA: well im off now!! have fun reading  
ROSE: Ahh, of course. Where are you going next? To visit Purple Rose? Or are you not allowed to tell me?  
ARADIA: dont be silly  
ARADIA: youre purple rose  
ARADIA: and im going back in time to encourage my past self to doom more timelines to tie that time loop up  
ARADIA: after that i thought id visit some friends in the dream bubbles since i havent done that in a while and their involvement is also super important for the alpha timeline ive heard  
KANAYA: Did A Future Aradia Tell You That Too  
ARADIA: indeed she did!!   
ARADIA: despite how complex time is i cant help but admit how fun it can be sometimes  
ARADIA: like a never ending surprise  
ARADIA: 0u0  
ROSE: Well, it sounds like you’re going to be very busy for a while. See you in another week, perhaps?  
ARADIA: you can count on it!  
KANAYA: If We Are All Not Dead By Then That Is  
ARADIA: you wont be  
ARADIA: i have a good feeling about this timeline  
ARADIA: bye!!!  
  
Aradia grabs the large tome, waves at you and Kanaya, and then promptly disappears. Again, you look at the stack of novels before you.

KANAYA: Well  
KANAYA: I Suppose I Should Find Something To Entertain Myself With While You Spend The Next Couple Of Days With Your Nose In A Book  
ROSE: Actually, I was considering reading these out loud. We could invite Karkat, too, if you don’t mind. I’m not sure if there will be any raunchy romance in these, since I didn’t include much in mine, but nevertheless I think it may cheer him up. Or at least distract him from his misery for a bit.  
KANAYA: What A Marvelous Idea Rose  
KANAYA: We Could Make A Nice Evening Out Of It  
KANAYA: I Will Start Preparing Some Of His Favorite Snacks  
ROSE: Please do. And perhaps some of mine as well? If you don’t mind, dear.  
KANAYA: Not At All Not At All  
KANAYA: It Would Be My Pleasure  
  
You fondly gaze at Kanaya’s backside as she slips out of your room, and then take out your laptop so you can message Karkat. As you suspect, he’s lurking on the memo boards. He is so very predictable sometimes.

You write up a quick private invitation to him, and send it.

TT: Karkat, would you like to come over to my room tonight? I just came upon a lengthy, intriguing sounding series, and thought you might want to join Kanaya and me in reading it.  
CG: THANKS, BUT NO FUCKING THANKS. I SURE AS SHIT DON’T WANT TO ATTEND A PITY PARTY. JUST LET ME FESTER IN MY FOUL ASS FUMES FOR A LITTLE BIT LONGER, OKAY? I PROMISE I AM NOT GOING TO TURN INTO ONE OF THOSE LAMEASS BULGELICKS WHO FALLS TO A SPIRALING WRITHING DESPAIR THAT HE CAN’T CLIMB OUT OF.  
TT: The thought never crossed my mind.  
CG: HA FUCKING HA, YEAH RIGHT.  
TT: I am being honest with you. I may not know you well, but I do not doubt your ability to heal and recover.  
TT: But that being said, your smell is beginning to seriously bother Terezi. And the absence of social contact will not help you heal any faster.  
TT: I am not offering to soothe your pain, just to give you a little bit of company over a hobby we mutually enjoy.  
CG: ........  
CG: YEAH, YEAH, OKAY.  
CG: I GUESS I COULD COME OVER, IF ONLY TO APPEASE YOUR BLITHERING NUTURING FEMALE INSTINCTS.  
CG: HONESTLY, YOU ARE AS BAD AS KANAYA.  
TT: Ouch, Karkat. We both know I do not possess that depth of patience and empathy. If I come across as fussy, it is only because mimicking compassion for my fellow meteor inhabitants ultimately affects me in a positive manner.  
CG: YEAH, THAT’S JUST BULLSHIT.  
CG: WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR DOUCHEFUCKING BROTHER HAVE AGAINST COMING ACROSS AS ACTUALLY HAVING SOME GODDAMN COMMON DECENCY? IT’S LIKE YOU ARE AFRAID OF PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKING YOU.  
TT: Now that is a classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.  
CG: SHUT THE HELL UP.  
CG: I SAID I WOULD COME TO YOUR STUPID GROUP BOOK MEETING. STOP ASSAULTING ME WITH YOUR PYSCHOBABBLE NOOKSPITTLE.   
TT: Alright, I will sheathe by metaphorical wit for now.  
TT: Oh, and Karkat?  
CG: YES I WILL BATHE BEFORE COMING OVER.  
TT: Thank you.


End file.
